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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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OldGit

#720
December 12, 2012, 04:39:00 PM
^ Excellent!

Guardian85

#721
December 12, 2012, 04:41:46 PM
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Davin

#722
December 12, 2012, 04:50:40 PM Last Edit: December 12, 2012, 04:52:42 PM by Davin
Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

Ihateyoumike

#723
December 12, 2012, 06:00:26 PM
Quote from: Davin on December 12, 2012, 04:50:40 PM


There cannot be enough wtfs to cover this pic. I mean... WTF?
Prayers that need no answer now, cause I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake, I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin.

Davin

#724
December 12, 2012, 06:22:01 PM
Quote from: Ihateyoumike on December 12, 2012, 06:00:26 PM
There cannot be enough wtfs to cover this pic. I mean... WTF?
That's why it's so obvious that the aliens were involved in the creation of this image, their WTF technology is far superior to our own.
Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

Amicale

#725
December 14, 2012, 05:11:25 AM


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Tank

#726
December 15, 2012, 08:55:37 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#727
December 15, 2012, 09:00:27 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

#728
December 15, 2012, 05:20:24 PM
Those are so cute, Tank! :D


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Tank

#729
December 16, 2012, 03:39:18 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Guardian85

#730
December 16, 2012, 11:25:10 PM
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.  ;D


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Amicale

#731
December 16, 2012, 11:33:00 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on December 16, 2012, 11:25:10 PM
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.  ;D


Heh. I would have guessed BB King, Stephen King and Martin Luther King Jr, but I'm sure those other ones provide some people happiness. ;)


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Claireliontamer

#732
December 16, 2012, 11:37:23 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on December 16, 2012, 11:25:10 PM
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.  ;D


I'm not quite sure about the 'peace'!

Tank

#733
December 18, 2012, 09:31:09 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#734
December 18, 2012, 09:32:15 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.
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