Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Guardian85

#165
February 03, 2012, 04:50:30 PM
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ali

#166
February 03, 2012, 05:08:00 PM
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Guardian85

#167
February 03, 2012, 05:35:47 PM
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ali

#168
February 03, 2012, 05:47:49 PM
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lay the fuck down.

Guardian85

#169
February 03, 2012, 06:15:00 PM
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ali

#170
February 03, 2012, 06:20:05 PM
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th, but it wasn't Jesus's birthday.  Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris, so to this day the world knows December 25th as Jesus's birthday.

joeactor

#171
February 03, 2012, 06:26:11 PM
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he understands is the element of surprise.

Guardian85

#172
February 03, 2012, 06:32:22 PM
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ali

#173
February 03, 2012, 06:39:02 PM
There are no such things as tornadoes.  Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism

#174
February 03, 2012, 06:55:20 PM
Death once had a near chuck norris experience
"All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." -Voltaire
"By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out". Richard Dawkins

Ali

#175
February 03, 2012, 06:59:00 PM
Chuck Norris isn't lactose intolerant.  He just doesn't put up with lactose's shit.

Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism

#176
February 03, 2012, 07:06:42 PM
They tried to make a chuck norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody
Chuck norris already visited mars.  That is why there is no sign of life.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
"All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." -Voltaire
"By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out". Richard Dawkins

Guardian85

#177
February 03, 2012, 07:10:24 PM
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Asmodean

#178
February 03, 2012, 07:24:16 PM
The Asmo, he wears boxers with pwetty wittle fwowers on them.

Not a joke, but ridiculous enough for one.  >:(
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Ali

#179
February 03, 2012, 07:33:34 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on February 03, 2012, 07:24:16 PM
The Asmo, he wears boxers with pwetty wittle fwowers on them.

Not a joke, but ridiculous enough for one.  >:(

Asmo doesn't wear boxers with pwetty wittle fwowers, boxers with pwetty wittle fwowers wear him!  (That's how the Chuck Norris joke would go. ;))
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