Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Davin]

This one's old, but I still like it:

[Tank]

[OldGit]

^ Excellent!

[Tank]

[Asmodean]

Yes. The Asmo, He dislikes Valentine's Day. 

[Tank]

[Asmodean]

...Eh?  ???

[Buddy]

[Tank]

[Tank]

[new guy]

Okay, guys, listen up.
This is a very
flammable mixture
that's also
undetectable.
If we put it on the electric box
and two of the outlets,
then light them all at once,
it'll look like a short circuit.

Geez, Mort, how the hell do
you know how to do all this?

Oh, it's all covered in
the Torah.
Right after the chapter on
writing complaint letters
that will result in
compensatory merchandise.

Dear stuffed shirts
at Ritz Crackers.
A chain is only as strong
as its weakest link.
Just as a box of crackers
is only as appealing
as its least intact sleeve.
I am paying
for fully formed crackers,
not butter crumbles.
I don't buy your product
with broken quarters;
don't stick me
with broken pieces of cracker,
you miserable dicks!
Regards, Mort Goldman again.

[Sweetdeath]

I got two that made me laugh a lot



and

[Tank]

[Amicale]

Credit to: Little White Lion because that's where I found it, but I don't know who created it - the url on the bottom gives credit to 'thefunnyplanet', so someone there, I guess.

As someone in the comments pointed out, the main screw-up is that the post dates are from years and years ago, but the comments are only hours/minutes ago. Oh well. It still made me laugh the first time I saw this.  

It's called "If Facebook Existed Years Ago".

[xSilverPhinx]

^Those are hilarious