Trolling christian forums

[Squid]

I know what you mean, I just can't summon up the courage to read christian forums because I know my head would explode.

Yeah... They should come with a warning label:

DANGER: Reading may cause EHS (Exploding head syndrome),
provoke a killing spree or make you sacrifice small animals on an altar of tires burned with kerosine.

If that's anywhere close to the truth, (it isn't) then Atheist forums should bear this:

DANGER: Reading may cause suicidal attempts based on a sense of meaningless hatred, a complete forgetfulness of why at Church yesterday you felt happy to be in existence, and, if those don't get you first, the realization that rape and murder isn't all that bad. Survival of the fittest baby! If those women aren't fast enough to escape the rapist, they obviously weren't fit enough, and thus deserved it. However you were fit enough to catch them, and so deserved the pleasure. And if Joe couldn't wrench the knife from your hand, he obviously wasn't fit enough. Duh

That isn't even coherent.

Not to mention ridiculous.

[Fi]

If that's anywhere close to the truth, (it isn't) then Atheist forums should bear this:

DANGER: Reading may cause suicidal attempts based on a sense of meaningless hatred, a complete forgetfulness of why at Church yesterday you felt happy to be in existence, and, if those don't get you first, the realization that rape and murder isn't all that bad. Survival of the fittest baby! If those women aren't fast enough to escape the rapist, they obviously weren't fit enough, and thus deserved it. However you were fit enough to catch them, and so deserved the pleasure. And if Joe couldn't wrench the knife from your hand, he obviously wasn't fit enough. Duh

In the event this post is not satire: I'll just leave this here.

"Survival of the fittest" does not mean what you think it means, and it doesn't even accurately describe what it was originally meant to describe. "Fitness" refers to reproductive success, not physical strength.

[xSilverPhinx]

I know what you mean, I just can't summon up the courage to read christian forums because I know my head would explode.

Yeah... They should come with a warning label:

DANGER: Reading may cause EHS (Exploding head syndrome),
provoke a killing spree or make you sacrifice small animals on an altar of tires burned with kerosine.

If that's anywhere close to the truth, (it isn't) then Atheist forums should bear this:

DANGER: Reading may cause suicidal attempts based on a sense of meaningless hatred, a complete forgetfulness of why at Church yesterday you felt happy to be in existence, and, if those don't get you first, the realization that rape and murder isn't all that bad. Survival of the fittest baby! If those women aren't fast enough to escape the rapist, they obviously weren't fit enough, and thus deserved it. However you were fit enough to catch them, and so deserved the pleasure. And if Joe couldn't wrench the knife from your hand, he obviously wasn't fit enough. Duh

Besides misrepresenting what survival of the fittest is (and trying to merge that with ethics. which is ridiculous) what I really have to wonder about is what a theist who feels that way is doing visiting an atheist forum?

[Ransom]

I just went on Rapture Ready out of curiosity. I could feel about 150 brain cells die for every word that I read.  

If it was a bunch of rapture-believers, then it was probably more like 213.76 brain cells lost a word. The "rapture" is one of the stupidest things protestants have ever come up with, and believe me, they have had some doosies.

[Asmodean]

I know what you mean, I just can't summon up the courage to read christian forums because I know my head would explode.

Yeah... They should come with a warning label:

DANGER: Reading may cause EHS (Exploding head syndrome),
provoke a killing spree or make you sacrifice small animals on an altar of tires burned with kerosine.

If that's anywhere close to the truth, (it isn't) then Atheist forums should bear this:

DANGER: Reading may cause suicidal attempts based on a sense of meaningless hatred, a complete forgetfulness of why at Church yesterday you felt happy to be in existence, and, if those don't get you first, the realization that rape and murder isn't all that bad. Survival of the fittest baby! If those women aren't fast enough to escape the rapist, they obviously weren't fit enough, and thus deserved it. However you were fit enough to catch them, and so deserved the pleasure. And if Joe couldn't wrench the knife from your hand, he obviously wasn't fit enough. Duh

That isn't even coherent.

Not to mention ridiculous.

Not to mention FAR too long for a warning label. In order for them to be read, you have to keep them short and straight to the point.

[Asmodean]

Yeah... They should come with a warning label:

DANGER: Reading may cause EHS (Exploding head syndrome),
provoke a killing spree or make you sacrifice small animals on an altar of tires burned with kerosine.

If that's anywhere close to the truth, (it isn't)

Truth..? Oh, but it is VERY close to it. Bang on it, in fact. Oh, you were talking about your truth?! Well, that explains a lot...

Ok, your head will not literally explode, EHS is a metaphor. However, you may find yourself having an urge to kill, torture and mutilate, which is not the same as doing it, of course, so points two and three may be taken literally.

I guess what I'm saying is, in this contents, "If that's anywhere close to the truth" is a stupidly worded comment. How can a warning label with the first word of it being "may" be or not be true? It's implicational. The only way to find out if it is true for you is to try doing what the label urges you not to.