Ban The Poster Above You

[Essie Mae]

Banned for leaving me out of it - I don't like being on my own.  Maybe I could do some good amongst the recidivists.

[Nam]

Banned for being afraid of loneliness. It's fun. Except the sex.

-Nam

[Magdalena]

Oh! My Asmo!
Nobody has banned you yet?
I didn't have time to ban you this morning, I thought, "By the time I come here again, he's gonna be banned."
But no, here you are still waiting to be banned, again.
We've banned you many times this week. I banned you many times this week...I am tired.
But I will band you just one more time, and that's it. 

[Nam]

Banned for misspelling banned on purpose.

-Nam

[Magdalena]

Ban that AutoCorrect! 

[Biggus Dickus]

Banned for teh many things you do that are wrong, so many in fact that it nay impossible to list them all, butt I shall try.

The way you walk in flip flops.
For standing over my shoulder reading the computer screen.
Your explanations that begin with the word "Again".
How you leave your dirty dishes in the sink (Or on the counter directly above the dishwasher). 
When I'm eating candy and you ask if you can have the red one.
When you use Airline speak (like: "The lavatories ARE equipped with smoke detectors, so DO refrain...")
How you like to take up 2 parking spaces when you park your Buick.
Your snoring.
How you won't silence that annoying sound your phone makes when typing. (Sounds like: Blllck, Blckk, Bllck)
You don't put the coffee cream away, ever.
Don't close the door to the bathroom.
How you can't make tamales.
How you curse at me in Spanish, (Idiota, stupido, etc...)
You eat my secret food stash.

[Magdalena]

Oh, Bruno, stop! 
You don't mean all that.
Is this about me Namming Ban? I mean, me banning Nam so much?
I know I said I didn't like him when he came here, but he's not so bad. He enjoys banning more than you do, so I take advantage of the opportunity, besides, you don't bring me flowers anymore. 

[No one]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I made this ban,
Especially for you.

[Tank]

I'd ban you but I quite liked that so you get a free pass.

[No one]

Gandalf is disappointed in you ban.

[Magdalena]

Banned because this...this...."Gandalf" can be as disappointed as he/she wants...But nothing, No one, will change the amount of admiration I feel for Tank--Nothing--No One--Oh, wait, that's you. 

[Arturo]

Banned because I wanted to get in on this. Someone had to be first.

[Magdalena]

You've never been banned!
I get to be the first to ban you!
I am so happy!
This is a virgin ban!

[Biggus Dickus]

Banned for popping cherries.

[Nam]

Banned for not using syrup.

-Nam