Ban The Poster Above You

[No one]

Just for that,  you get no soup and a plain and simple ban. (Just for the inconvenience)

[Guardian85]

Banned because a lady such as her deserves a better grade of ban. 

[No one]

Equal opportunity ban.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Banned for being no one, and therefore not existing.  Banned for not existing. 

[No one]

Imaginary friend ban.

[Bad Penny]

A class of modern philosophers posit that supporting local blind people, training the dogs and stuff, isn't the best way to spend the caring dollar.
So much more could be accomplished with a dollar in the benighted lands.
You don't appear to have eyes so I conclude you are blind.
I ban you for diverting dollars better spent elsewhere and your parents for not exposing you to the elements at birth.

[Essie Mae]

Banned for being overly harsh.

[Biggus Dickus]

Banned because there are no degrees of harshness; you are either harsh in your tone or manner or not harsh in your tone or manner.

It's like coincidences. There are no big coincidences and small coincidences, just coincidences.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Banned for your illegitimate pregnancy.  Don't deny it - it's truly disgraceful.

[Magdalena]

Banned just to lure you here.

[No one]

Alluring ban

[Magdalena]

Banned.
I want Ecurb Noselrub to find my ban alluring, not you. 

[Tank]

Banned, just to annoy you

[Velma]

Banned for banning just to annoy Magdalena.

[Siz]

Banned, coz there's nowt wrong with that.