What no one told you about becoming an Atheist...

[Bella]

I'm happy that I can just eat my frickin' dinner without having to pray first! I hated that! I was hungry and my food was in front of me, smelling sooo good... I would sort of stare at it with my head bowed while my dad said the prayer.

Oh, and not having to preach the "good word" anymore. Never. Again.

[SabineMaia]

Ugh, I hate grace. My brother and his wife are semi-sort of religious (which means I know the Bible better than they do, and I've probably been to church more often than they have. Go figure.), but they always say grace before meals (and poorly, I might add). Anyhoo, most of her family is religious and none of my family is, but the odds are 50/50 as to which side of the family will start eating before the brother or sister-in-law get to grace, which starts a mowing free-for-all, which winds up preventing grace from ever being uttered. I think "Who will pre-empt grace" is actually becoming a competitive sport for us. I'm going to start keeping score.

[rlrose328]

My dad was an old coot... and though he was a religious man (quietly), his blessing was a hoot:

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost...
He who eats the fastest, gets the most!

Try THAT one at your next family meal.  LOL!

[MysticalChicken]

The Exorcist was actually never scary to me, ever.

Good things:  I can listen to the type of music I want to, with utter disregard for lyrical content (Crazy Fundie:  "OH NO Jeff Tweedy took the LORD'S name in vain, this is evil satanic filth that must be burned and you must REPENT or else you will be sent to HELL where demons will pluck out your eyeballs, boil them in a stew of maggots and leeches, and feed it to you!").

I can read whatever authors I want to, with no regard for the content of their books (Crazy Fundie:  "David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs are EVIL HOMOS who must REPENT or be sent to hell, where they will...um, hold on, what's worse than having your own eyeballs force-fed to you?  Jean?  Little help?  What?  Okay, thanks.  Um, they must REPENT or be sent to HELL, where they will be forced to watch reruns of Married... With Children* for all eternity!  While sitting in pig vomit!")

I can watch whatever movies or TV shows I want to. (Crazy Fundie:  "South Park?  This degenerate filth?  God says you'll go to HELL if you watch this!  I just heard him!  He just told me, right now!  You'll go to hell and you'll... um..." Me:  "Yeah, the whole eyeball stew while watching Married... With Children thing.  Anything new?  Will my soul be chopped into confetti and strewn across a parade of murderers and single mothers? [sorry, I had to add a Simpsons reference]  And why did he tell you and not me?  You'd think if I watched a TV show that will get me eternal damnation, god would tell me about it.  And stop listening to the voices in your head.  That's how people get killed.")  Basically, I can do any damn thing I want to, short of breaking the law or being mean to people, and I know that no Invisible Space Dude is breathing down my neck, watching my every move like the CIA.

EDIT:  Bella's post reminded me that I don't have to wait an extra minute to say "grace" while staring at my food.  Actually, I've only said "grace" once, and that was at my aunt's house when I was younger.

Bad things:  You never know unless someone mentions it themselves whether they are atheist or theist, so I'm always slightly uncomfortable that I'm giving off some sort of "atheist vibe," or something.  And of course if a theist finds out I am atheist (although, unless asked, I wouldn't come out and say "I'm atheist") s/he'll probably try to "save" me even though there is nothing to be saved from.

*yes, this is actually worse than having your own eyeballs plucked out and fed to you in a stew of maggots and leeches.

[Jeremiah]

Knowing that there is no ultimate justice.  That bad people can do bad things and if they are not brought to justice in their lifetime, then they have effectively gotten away with it.  I have to say, that does still bother me.

I have never worried about wrongdoers that much. If they believe in hell then the anticipation of eternal damnation must be eating them alive. Or if they do not believe in hell than their conscience will eat them alive. If they do not have conscience then I only feel sorry for them because they have no humanity. What a terrible thing that must be; to be a human but not a human. But I am worried about those who say what is wrong and what is right.

[Bella]

Hehe, my dad wasn't religious (mom made him do it) so his prayer was ALWAYS, "Dear God, thank you for this food, amen". My mom was pissed that it was always so short (but since he was the man, she said HE had to do it) so she'd sit there for an extra minute with her head bowed and her eyes closed to silently say her OWN prayer while we started eating. Hehe, I never realized how funny that was until now.

Oh, and I forgot about the tv shows I can watch now, too! There are still so many old movies that I haven't seen (that everyone else has) because I wasn't allowed to watch them then. I finally started watching those Indiana Jones movies...

Hmm... eyeball, maggot, and leech stew... sounds yummy!

[Will]

Passive aggressive prayer = hilarious.

[EbzDirtyHeathen]

I've been an atheist for years, but it takes time to really feel at home and comfortable in your truer role with new perceptions. I expected things like some people not understanding, or being bigoted. I expected meeting harsh or pleasant realities. There were a few things, however, that I didn't see coming at all.

1) The Exorcist isn't scary anymore. I had never realized it before, but the reason the Exorcist scared the living crap out of me as a child was because I actually believed that it was possible to be possessed by a demon or the devil. The idea of having a foreign, and evil entity possess me kept me awake at night after seeing the movie. Now? It's one of the most boring things I've ever seen. It's just watching the deluded perceptions of religious people misdiagnosing someone with schizophrenia. And as someone with some knowledge of psychology and psychiatry, I can tell you that holy water is only likely to work in a psychosomatic role (the power of the water is in the perception of the child, and in this case, in the minds of the child, the old coot, and the younger coot).
[schild=18 fontcolor=000000 shadowcolor=C0C0C0 shieldshadow=1]Bring me a Young Coot and an Old Coot!![/schild]

2) Sunday Mornings are glorious. You know how you sleep in on Saturday, but sometimes you have to wake up and clean the house or do yardwork? Not on Sunday. That's right, the atheists get the ultimate sabbath and best of all, we aren't morally obliged to go anywhere or do anything. You know what I did yesterday morning? Jack. I slept in till like 10 got up and ate some breakfast and just hung out at the house with the family.

3) No depressing Good Friday. Oh? Jesus died? That's too bad. *yawn* I'll see you guys after I get Easter off to hide eggs with my family without the horrible downer of torture and death. But you guys have fun, kay?

4) I can read whatever I want before bed. You know what I'm going to faithfully read before bed tonight? Maybe the Wallstreet Journal. Maybe I'll finish that great biography on Robert Kennedy. Maybe I won't read at all. I won't be quizzed on what I've read on Sunday, after all.


So what are the unexpected plusses and minuses of coming out the other side for you guys?

The Exorcist STILL scares the crap out of me I dunno wth you're talking about right there.....I STILL can't watch that -ish in the dark .......there's NO WAY.

[Gibson]

Hi - newbie chiming in.

Like others here - letting go of that 'suspension of disbelief' struggle is a huge plus.  *sigh of relief*  One of the last things that happened that forced me to take a serious look at reality was getting to know - not hearing about or reading about in the paper - a man my age that grew up going to catholic schools, and was regularly raped by priests.  The nuns weren't modern, liberal women - they beat the hell out of him.  No wonder that without serious meds, he's suicidal and hears voices.  GRRRRR!  I can't express how angry that made me and how strongly it grips my heart.  I was around this man for a few weeks (a patient), and every time I saw him, I found myself fiercely praying to god for his healing.  I wonder how many times he prayed for help when he was a child.    I can actually enjoy the better ones now.  I agree with Willravel - that loss of fear surprised me.  I have a strong ability to suspend my disbelief, so movies seem pretty real to me.  Now I can enjoy that trait instead of worrying that I'll have nightmares.

Not having to hide my "heretical" books anymore - big plus.

Not going through the weekly guilt about not going to Mass because it made me feel like a defector - plus.  (See, that guilt still clings on!)

No longer feeling responsible for the salvation of everyone I know - plus.

Good Friday was a huge one for me too - I'm just not good at fasting and forced self-immolation.  So, religious holidays turning into secular celebrations - plus!  Pass the ham and potatoes!

Did I mention letting go of irrational guilt?  

And finally, getting to no longer base my self-esteem on a non-existent system of shame, fear of punishment, fear of losing god's love, acceptance and forgiveness...  I don't have to wait for some guy in the sky to let me know his will for my life - I can do whatever I want to do with this life.  Even at 34.  Big plus.

[bitter_sweet_symphony]

The biggest plus for me would be not feeling any hatred for those with different beliefs, like Steve mentioned. Since I didn't share the same religious beliefs with my family (I was interested in Islam for a short while and my family was Hindu) the conflicting emotions I felt towards them almost ruined my relationship with them.

Being free to make up my own mind, instead of having to think if God would sentence me to eternal damnation for it, is another big plus.

Being an atheist has helped me concentrate more on this and the only life I have. I spend more time improving my talents or simply relaxing, instead of learning a dialect of Arabic that is no longer spoken, in order to pray to someone who does not exist. Big, big plus.

I no longer get bothered if Science proves that something my religion states is false.

Can't think of anything negative. Does not being able to use exclamations like "oh god!" count?

[Will]

I say Jesus Christ all the time. If theists can talk about evolution, it only seems fair.

[McQ]

The biggest plus for me would be not feeling any hatred for those with different beliefs, like Steve mentioned. Since I didn't share the same religious beliefs with my family (I was interested in Islam for a short while and my family was Hindu) the conflicting emotions I felt towards them almost ruined my relationship with them.

Being free to make up my own mind, instead of having to think if God would sentence me to eternal damnation for it, is another big plus.

Being an atheist has helped me concentrate more on this and the only life I have. I spend more time improving my talents or simply relaxing, instead of learning a dialect of Arabic that is no longer spoken, in order to pray to someone who does not exist. Big, big plus.

I no longer get bothered if Science proves that something my religion states is false.

Can't think of anything negative. Does not being able to use exclamations like "oh god!" count?

I'll second these sentiments. Well put.

Oh, and I say christ and jesus all the time. Old habit. Just that now I don't feel guilty saying them!

[myleviathan]

Man, it's great being able to say the F word, which I won't type but I want all of you know that I'm thinking it... Bombing the crap out of all of you.

[myleviathan]

Man, it's great being able to say the F word, which I won't type but I want all of you know that I'm thinking it... Bombing the crap out of all of you.

[Will]

I feel like I've read that before...