Atheist Image Dump II

[Tank]

[Asmodean]

Is this a reference to something The Asmo might have seen on National Geographic Channel?

[Biggus Dickus]

Explain.

Why would they? Slap on some cheese and/or salami and/or some other animal product, and you has a perfect sandwich.

...Spoil it with butter and jam..! Bah! 

Even if you are going to slap some cheese and/or salami on, it's still only dry toast Elwood; it needs butter, ghee, mayonnaise, mustard prior to putting on any animal product. I prefer a nice piece of prosciutto by the way, some good cheese, little butter, spinach, tomato, brown mustard.

Or as even as Guardian suggested, which is a nice topping of good quality jam or preserves, but even raspberry jam deserves even a bit of butter underneath to smooth the transition to the dryness of the bread, along with possibly some smoked gouda.

Toast cannot be allowed to sit dry, in fact it is imperative that whatever it is you are planning to spread on it be done almost immediately after removal from the toasting device, otherwise it must be disposed of as soon as it gets cold (You could I suppose feed it to your rats) (Never, ever, ever re-toast toast, that is simply barbaric and I shudder to even contemplate such an action)

Also, the toast in the picture is obviously just a staged picture for the sake of amusing us with the Jesus in the toast reference.
I't been toasted too long, and appears to be a less than standard slice of bread (Just the fact that the bread has been machine cut is evidence of this)

Toasters have settings on them, and any person serious about preparing a delicious sandwich knows his toaster inside and out and isn't afraid to push the boundaries a bit and experiment with toasting settings for different types of bread, and of course most importantly the thickness of the bread.

Most common toasting mistakes people make are to simply drop the bread into the toaster, set on high, or maybe medium high, push down on the handle and then ignore the toast until either they smell it burning, or it pops up and then simply sits there alone, naked, afraid.(And then they simply allow the bread to sit there, and continue to dry and get cold)

A toast-master will watch his bread carefully from the moment is slides down into the toaster until it pops back up in glee. They will observe not only with their eyes, but other senses, especially their sense of smell, putting their face close to the toaster to not only smell, but to feel the radiance of the heat on their face in order to judge if the bread is done or not.

I recommend spending a weekend getting aquatinted with your toaster. Go out to your baker and get some decent quality breads, but make sure to get a variety, such as sourdough, wheat, rye, multigrain (Tell your baker you are practicing toasting, and they'll set you up with a nice package of bread to begin your training)
Good luck padawan, may your butter knife remain dull, and your butter soft.

[Asmodean]

Interesting...

You see, to me, bread is bread. It's what you put on top of it that makes it a sandwich. Personally, I prefer it dry, or at least dry-ish.

[Crow]

Interesting...

You see, to me, bread is bread. It's what you put on top of it that makes it a sandwich. Personally, I prefer it dry, or at least dry-ish.

I agree. Butter is foul stuff that adds nothing to the flavour. Any sauces have to add to the flavour not mask it, same goes for the bread.

[jumbojak]

Interesting...

You see, to me, bread is bread.

BLASPHEMY!!!!

[Asmodean]

He is The Asmo and thus He cannot blaspheme per definition. 

[Essie Mae]

If you inventive HAFfers can produce so many posts on toast, how many would it take to thoroughly disseminate roast turkey and trimmings?

[Crow]

If you inventive HAFfers can produce so many posts on toast, how many would it take to thoroughly disseminate roast turkey and trimmings?

Turkey is an overrated bird, it is far too dry and to ensure the skin hasn't been broken to keep moisture levels up you have to pluck it yourself which is a ball ache that nobody in their right mind would want to do. It also takes far too long to cook and takes up too much room in the oven. I much prefer game; partridge or pheasant is perfect as far as I'm concerned it is easy to prepare and cook whilst also tasting amazing and allows for more interesting combinations.

I'm not really a fan of all the trimmings either as much if it has a similar texture and flavour profile, I personally prefer a more targeted plate that isn't overloaded and each piece is intended to work with each other. However seeing as I wont be doing the cooking I will eat whatever is in front of me.

[Pasta Chick]

It's not so bad if you stick to dark meat.  I have a couple turkeys (wow Autocorrect really wants that to say Turkish!) in the freezer because they were so cheap before Thanksgiving.  I'll cook them up, we'll eat all the dark meat, I'll slice some of the breast thin for sandwiches and the rest will be boiled down for soup (with wild and brown rice).  I don't approve of stuffing when used in the conventional manner.  I do enjoy making it with olive oil, spreading it over chicken thighs and baking the whole mess - the chicken stays moist and the stuffing gets all crispy and wonderful.  Cranberry sauce is the shiznit, but only homemade.

[jumbojak]

If you inventive HAFfers can produce so many posts on toast, how many would it take to thoroughly disseminate roast turkey and trimmings?

Turkey is an overrated bird, it is far too dry and to ensure the skin hasn't been broken to keep moisture levels up you have to pluck it yourself which is a ball ache that nobody in their right mind would want to do. It also takes far too long to cook and takes up too much room in the oven. I much prefer game; partridge or pheasant is perfect as far as I'm concerned it is easy to prepare and cook whilst also tasting amazing and allows for more interesting combinations.

I'm not really a fan of all the trimmings either as much if it has a similar texture and flavour profile, I personally prefer a more targeted plate that isn't overloaded and each piece is intended to work with each other. However seeing as I wont be doing the cooking I will eat whatever is in front of me.

For a perfect turkey, brine it in kosher salt for ten hours before baking it upside down and never, and I mean never, cook the stuffing inside the bird. Stuffing inside the bird is a recipe for poultry disaster as it takes far too long to heat to a safe temperature after coming in contact contact with the bird. Stuffed turkeys are almost always dry - if they aren't, it means the stuffing isn't safe for human consumption.

If time is your main issue, you can always debone the bird and flatten it before roasting, sometimes called spatchcocking, which will result in a perfect 45 minute turkey. It might not look as pretty sitting on the table but it will be very tasty and fairly quick.

Personally though, I like a prime rib roast for holiday meals. I can deal with turkey if that's all there is but the holidays don't seem right if there isn't a nice slab of red cow or at least salt cured ham on the table.

[Crow]

If time is your main issue, you can always debone the bird and flatten it before roasting, sometimes called spatchcocking, which will result in a perfect 45 minute turkey. It might not look as pretty sitting on the table but it will be very tasty and fairly quick.

Spatchcocking is great but I don't have an oven that would fit a full sized turkey in it done in that manner, well I don't think it would. I did a chicken like that last month and that filled my largest baking tray and that just fits in the oven.

[Tank]

If you inventive HAFfers can produce so many posts on toast, how many would it take to thoroughly disseminate roast turkey and trimmings?

ROFL!

All you wanted was some ideas for Christmas! That was soooo cool! 

[xSilverPhinx]

If you inventive HAFfers can produce so many posts on toast, how many would it take to thoroughly disseminate roast turkey and trimmings?

ROFL!

All you wanted was some ideas for Christmas! That was soooo cool! 

Heheh devious.

[Davin]

Wow, what a derail.