Spectacular Suicides!!

[Cecilie]

Would you please elaborate on your first step? How would you fake your death?

Well, first I would fake my death

Second, I would hold a funeral

Third, I would have a lookalike of me burst out of the coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

Fourth, the lookalike would explode, showering audience in blood.

Fifth, the funeral would continue.

and so on.

That didn't answer my question...

[SSY]

Hire a massive industrial woodchipper.
Haul it up to someone/something I disagreed with.
Aim.
Hop in.

I always thought it would go down well at a wedding.

[Cecilie]

If we're going for as painful as possible, may I suggest...



I'm not sure it counts as suicide though. Of course the person being sawn in half agreed to it.

[fester30]

Run into an F5 tornado.  Of course it wouldn't be very public... until someone found my videotape.

[Tank]

Following on from Asmo's demolition idea. I would wait until the demolition were ready then I'd grab the igniter unit and then run into the building and bring it down on myself. Death and burial all in one!

[Melmoth]

That didn't answer my question...

It did; I just need an infinite regress of perfect lookalikes jumping out of coffins and exploding. So it does sort of bend the rules in that I'm not supposed to hurt anyone else... but then, I don't count doppelgangers as people in their own right. If you look like me, talk like me, walk, act, smell, sound and think like me, then you are me, and that's that.

[The Magic Pudding]

Hire a massive industrial woodchipper.
Haul it up to someone/something I disagreed with.
Aim.
Hop in.

I always thought it would go down well at a wedding.

Be sure to consider the safety features of these things.  If you go feet first and then flail about and hit reverse or stop when at thigh level, well it's going to be unpleasant, but still spectacular.  It would be good for a protest, inadequate medical services for example, much better than self immolation.

[SSY]

Hire a massive industrial woodchipper.
Haul it up to someone/something I disagreed with.
Aim.
Hop in.

I always thought it would go down well at a wedding.

Be sure to consider the safety features of these things.  If you go feet first and then flail about and hit reverse or stop when at thigh level, well it's going to be unpleasant, but still spectacular.  It would be good for a protest, inadequate medical services for example, much better than self immolation.

Thanks for the concern man.

[OldGit]

I would go to Mecca, put on a yarmulke, stand on the top of the Kaaba and shout "kosher bagels for sale!"

[Tank]

I would go to Mecca, put on a yarmulke, stand on the top of the Kaaba and shout "kosher bagels for sale!"

:yay:  

Best one so far I think!

[The Magic Pudding]

I would go to Mecca, put on a yarmulke, stand on the top of the Kaaba and shout "kosher bagels for sale!"

:yay:  

Best one so far I think!

Ye but there is the We don't eat pigs and you don't eat pigs, why can't we be friends? - thing.

[youtube:1laij87y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T4Wk9M2ObE[/youtube:1laij87y]

[Mike M.]

1.  Find a suitably tall building.  3-5 stories is perfect.

2.  Tie cheese wire or razor wire, or any other sharp and strong wire, around your neck.  Not so tight that it chokes you, but not so loose that it slips off.

3.  Give the wire some slack and tie the other end around a solid object on the roof of the building.

4.  Use any industrial strength adhesive to glue your hands to the sides of your head.

5.  Jump.

Explanation - As you are falling, the sharp wire will run out of slack, but your body will still want to keep going.  This will (hopefully) sever your head, but still leave it in the clutches of your hands.  To any passerby on the sidewalk, it would appear that you killed yourself by pulling your own head off.

I wish this was original, but it's not.  Unfortunately, I have no one to give credit to because it was posted by an Anonymous internet user.

Cheers.