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What's on your mind today?

Started by Steve Reason, August 25, 2007, 08:15:06 PM

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Ecurb Noselrub

Quote from: Randy on May 26, 2020, 12:38:28 AM
since I can't have beer.  :hammock: <-- Not a beer but close enough.

Probably a stupid question, but does the beer just not mix well with the chemo, or is it the disease itself that makes it intolerable to drink?  Maybe too hard to swallow? Can you drink anything alcoholic?  Sorry if you've already addressed this, and hope I'm not out of line asking.

Randy

I've been told that there are no stupid questions although a few have raised my eyebrow in disbelief. This question hasn't been asked before.

I don't know if there is a problem with chemotherapy and alcohol, there could be I suppose. It's just that I take nine medications at night and five during the day. Of course they all talk about alcohol and side effects, at least I think all of them do. I know that quite a few do. I think most of them just increase the drowsiness which I don't mind.

I don't know if it is intolerable to drink. My taste has been wonky since I started chemo some years back. With my throat closing up drinking anything is hard but I do it anyway to give me some sense of normality. I don't know how a beer would taste or which kind I should choose.

I guess there is a problem with me maybe having to explain it to a nurse or doctor if they ever found out. How they would find out I don't know but knowing my luck they will.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

Quote from: Randy on May 26, 2020, 12:38:28 AM
...

My nurse practitioner from the palliative care team talked to my oncologist's NP and got some information she'd like to discuss with me on Wednesday. She wants to talk about their plans for me. I'm apprehensive. Oddly enough, this fits the topic. This is what is on my mind today.
...
So, Randy, I hope I'm not being nosy, but did you get any good news today?

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Randy

That's okay. Be as nosy as you'd like. :)

It's kind of what I expected although I got my blood cells mixed up. It's my platelet count that's low and that's why they cut the dosage.

It's kind of both good and bad. The good news is that pretty soon (not sure yet) I won't have to go for any more treatments. The bad news is that they have run out of treatments to give so there won't be anymore. That's why she set up the palliative care which will later become hospice, hopefully much later!

I expected them not to be able to treat me anymore coming up. After all, I've been doing this for years now and I pretty much figured I was coming to the end of the line.

The doctor said I was "stable" which I hope means that the growth as slowed to a crawl. I don't think it is arrested although I could be wrong and I hope I am.

The way it has been going for me with different treatment options is that the first x-ray shows it shrinking. The second x-ray shows it's doing nothing. The third x-ray shows it growing again and we switch to another treatment. I'm kind of expecting the next CT scan to show it is growing again but that won't be for about two months.

So, I'm somewhat apprehensive (read a little scared). I had hoped the information I gleaned today would have something positive other than the stable part. To think that within two to three months I may have my final treatment and then we just manage the symptoms as they get worse is... well... a bit upsetting to say the least.

But it is nothing different than when I got the diagnosis all those years ago. It scared me then and then I got used to it. I'll get used to this as well.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

Quote from: Randy on May 28, 2020, 12:57:14 AM
That's okay. Be as nosy as you'd like. :)

It's kind of what I expected although I got my blood cells mixed up. It's my platelet count that's low and that's why they cut the dosage.

It's kind of both good and bad. The good news is that pretty soon (not sure yet) I won't have to go for any more treatments. The bad news is that they have run out of treatments to give so there won't be anymore. That's why she set up the palliative care which will later become hospice, hopefully much later!

I expected them not to be able to treat me anymore coming up. After all, I've been doing this for years now and I pretty much figured I was coming to the end of the line.

The doctor said I was "stable" which I hope means that the growth as slowed to a crawl. I don't think it is arrested although I could be wrong and I hope I am.

The way it has been going for me with different treatment options is that the first x-ray shows it shrinking. The second x-ray shows it's doing nothing. The third x-ray shows it growing again and we switch to another treatment. I'm kind of expecting the next CT scan to show it is growing again but that won't be for about two months.

So, I'm somewhat apprehensive (read a little scared). I had hoped the information I gleaned today would have something positive other than the stable part. To think that within two to three months I may have my final treatment and then we just manage the symptoms as they get worse is... well... a bit upsetting to say the least.

But it is nothing different than when I got the diagnosis all those years ago. It scared me then and then I got used to it. I'll get used to this as well.
Well, Randy, I don't know what to say. But, I am sending you the best vibes I can find. Maybe you don't speak "hippie" but it means, I'm thinking about you getting better and maybe naively hoping with every fiber in me for what some call, a miraculous recovery.
I don't know you, but you sound like a good guy and a brave person from whom I'm learning so much about what it means to live in the present.

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Randy

Thank you, Magdalena. I understand what you mean and I appreciate it.

I learned to live in the present from watching my father die. He was 58 and was saving up for his retirement. He rarely took a day off much less a whole week. He never went to the mountains, or stayed at a beach. He never went to a fancy restaurant and had a glass of red wine with a steak. In the end, the future never came.

I've lived fully as best as I could with what I had to work with. I am far from rich but I am debt free. I have been for years and saving money was easy. I saved in a special savings account money that I would use for vacations.

My checking account grew as well and I'd buy stuff for my entertainment room such as the 65" plasma TV which was on sale because it was a demo model. I grabbed it before anyone else did and knew I had the money for it.

I've played the guitar and sang for small crowds for free simply because I enjoy music. Of course, the applause is something that exhilarates me.

I could go on and on but the point is, it's okay to save for the future but never forget to live for the moment.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

What's on my mind?
George Floyd.
Minneapolis.
:felix:

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Dark Lightning

Quote from: Magdalena on May 28, 2020, 10:55:15 PM
What's on my mind?
George Floyd.
Minneapolis.
:felix:

That was heinous. Murder in plain sight of witnesses. I hope that the book gets thrown at him and the rest. Sickening. I saw a still of the situation, but have no interest in watching a person die. If Minneapolis doesn't/can't do the right thing, the FBI should step in and take care of it. >:(

Randy

From what I've read the FBI is already investigating.

I didn't watch any videos of it. I think it would give me nightmares or something. I'm not sure. I've never seen anyone give their last breath.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

I haven't watched the video either. I can't, yet.

The riots remind me of the LA riots when the Rodney King beating by the LAPD took place. People were furious!

Will this ever end? Someone needs to stop giving racist mother fuckers a badge, a gun, and permission to "interpret" and "enforce" the law in such a brutal manner.

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Randy

Yes, it does remind me of the King murder. If I remember correctly, they were at first exonerated and then the riots started happening. People were dragging others out of their vehicles and beating them up, smashing windows, starting fires... Why? It was senseless. Yes, I know people were mad but there are better ways to handle anger.

And now we have arson again and this time they haven't even gone to trial. I didn't read the rest of the article to know if there was more. So what does that do? It adds more people to jail. Yes, a firing seems to be a slap on the wrist but let the feds do their investigation. I'm pretty sure the evidence will convict them.

I read that the culprits were cooperating with the investigation. I guess they are hoping for a lighter sentence.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

Quote from: Randy on May 29, 2020, 02:12:55 AM
Yes, it does remind me of the King murder. If I remember correctly, they were at first exonerated and then the riots started happening. People were dragging others out of their vehicles and beating them up, smashing windows, starting fires... Why? It was senseless. Yes, I know people were mad but there are better ways to handle anger.

And now we have arson again and this time they haven't even gone to trial. I didn't read the rest of the article to know if there was more. So what does that do? It adds more people to jail. Yes, a firing seems to be a slap on the wrist but let the feds do their investigation. I'm pretty sure the evidence will convict them.

I read that the culprits were cooperating with the investigation. I guess they are hoping for a lighter sentence.

Quote from: Randy on May 29, 2020, 02:12:55 AM
Yes, it does remind me of the King murder...
:secrets1: He wasn't murdered, but he was severely beaten.

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Randy

Quote from: Magdalena on May 29, 2020, 02:53:55 AM
Quote from: Randy on May 29, 2020, 02:12:55 AM
Yes, it does remind me of the King murder. If I remember correctly, they were at first exonerated and then the riots started happening. People were dragging others out of their vehicles and beating them up, smashing windows, starting fires... Why? It was senseless. Yes, I know people were mad but there are better ways to handle anger.

And now we have arson again and this time they haven't even gone to trial. I didn't read the rest of the article to know if there was more. So what does that do? It adds more people to jail. Yes, a firing seems to be a slap on the wrist but let the feds do their investigation. I'm pretty sure the evidence will convict them.

I read that the culprits were cooperating with the investigation. I guess they are hoping for a lighter sentence.

Quote from: Randy on May 29, 2020, 02:12:55 AM
Yes, it does remind me of the King murder...
:secrets1: He wasn't murdered, but he was severely beaten.

That's right. I got that mixed up pretty badly.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Tom62

Quote from: Dark Lightning on May 29, 2020, 12:13:09 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on May 28, 2020, 10:55:15 PM
What's on my mind?
George Floyd.
Minneapolis.
:felix:

That was heinous. Murder in plain sight of witnesses. I hope that the book gets thrown at him and the rest. Sickening. I saw a still of the situation, but have no interest in watching a person die. If Minneapolis doesn't/can't do the right thing, the FBI should step in and take care of it. >:(

I saw the video yesterday. It was plain murder. The officers should be  brought to justice. I understand that lots of people re angry about this (me included), but what I don't understand is why situations like this results in looting. This doesn't help "the cause".
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Tank

Quote from: Magdalena on May 28, 2020, 10:55:15 PM
What's on my mind?
George Floyd.
Minneapolis.
:felix:

If the law fails the people the people have to take the law into their own hands. What else can you expect?
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.