News:

Look, I haven't mentioned Zeus, Buddah, or some religion.

Main Menu

What's on your mind today?

Started by Steve Reason, August 25, 2007, 08:15:06 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Randy

Quote from: hermes2015 on May 13, 2020, 04:47:11 AM
Dear Randy, nothing I attempt to say can express what I feel about the news you have shared with us. Even if I am at a loss for words, please know that I feel deeply for you.

We are a loving family — I hope our support will help you through this in some way.

Thank you, Hermes. I've been reading posts, a lot of them. I found a lot of them entertaining. As long as I can think and type I'll be here.

Ugh, my feeding bag is empty and my caretaker is still asleep. It's almost nine o'clock in the morning here. Oh well, at least I'm not bothered with dressing changes and swapping out the inner cannula. Oh, I also have a trach now hence the need for the cannula.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. You have an eclectic family here and I'm enjoying the exchange of texts. I hope to get up to speed where I can get involved at some point. It's not like I have a job or anything of the sort.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

xSilverPhinx

Randy, so sorry to hear that you're suffering. :( I too hope you stick around and maybe find some solace here.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Randy

#14912
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on May 13, 2020, 10:58:00 PM
Randy, so sorry to hear that you're suffering. :( I too hope you stick around and maybe find some solace here.

The suffering is minor right now. Eating is impossible and drinking anything requires effort. But I'm in no pain. I get asked that every week from my palliative care team and have their hotline number just in case. They can send someone out 24 hours a day to stop the pain. Fortunately, my cancer hasn't grown to that stage yet. Or maybe it has and I just don't know it.

Back in December I cracked three ribs. How I don't know. Anyway I didn't feel it. The scar tissue or whatever it is could be seen in an x-ray in January. Since I had an x-ray in early December and there wasn't any then, most likely it happened mid-month.

But so far, no pain. I will have some eventually as the cancer continues to grow and spread. But I'm not there yet. I like being lucid.

We've cut back on my chemotherapy down to half dosage. I don't know why but I have another round of it coming tomorrow morning and will ask the doctor when I see her. It could be that this is all that's needed now to slow the growth. I'm not sure but I feel better since the cut back.

I plan to stick around on the board for a long time. With that said, I plan to stick around a long time period. I've got several locks and an alarm system to keep the grim reaper out.  8)

Edit: I found out why I am on half dosage; my low white blood cell count. They give me something to increase it every time I go. It injects itself twenty-seven hours later. It's some kind of protein. Apparently it is no longer increasing it enough.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

billy rubin



more people have been to berlin than i have

Randy

Smoothies! My caregiver was looking at some and thought I might like one. The place delivers. Having just got home from chemo with a bad taste in my mouth I think I can go for one. I'm looking at the menu now. :)
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Randy

The smoothie was bland for some reason. Maybe I should have added a sweetener to it. Today I added sugar to my coffee when this time it wasn't needed. I can't judge what my taste is going to be like.

Anyway, what's on my mind today is what am I going to do with it. My nurse came by yesterday to break up the monotony. Today, as far as I know, nothing is scheduled.

I may read some more of the Fantastic Four comics online, take a nap, check the forum, and watch Runaways. I'm almost done with season two.

I don't have the energy to do much anymore. I don't know why that is. I would have thought that a decrease in chemo dosage would elevate my energy some but it hasn't. The more I do the more I want to sleep. So I try not to do a whole lot so that I can enjoy the days as they come.

That's what's on my mind today. It is pretty boring but I'm enjoying it. I wish I had the energy to continue working on my fourth comic book but it takes a lot out of me, just like playing the guitar and several other things. I try not to tax myself mentally anymore as it has become a bit of a challenge. I'll still answer a question or two on Quora at times if I think it isn't going to be an ongoing debate.

Okay, Fantastic Four, nap, Runaways, and forum, maybe Quora but I haven't decided yet.

I'm tired. Maybe the nap first.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

I hope P B is doing OK after Michigan's disastrous dam failure 3 days ago...on top of everything else that's going on.
:(

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Randy

I hope so too. I had not heard of the dam failure which is surprising since I've tried keeping up with the news as of late. I'm going to look for it now.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Ecurb Noselrub

Quote from: Randy on May 14, 2020, 12:48:32 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on May 13, 2020, 10:58:00 PM
Randy, so sorry to hear that you're suffering. :( I too hope you stick around and maybe find some solace here.

The suffering is minor right now. Eating is impossible and drinking anything requires effort. But I'm in no pain. I get asked that every week from my palliative care team and have their hotline number just in case. They can send someone out 24 hours a day to stop the pain. Fortunately, my cancer hasn't grown to that stage yet. Or maybe it has and I just don't know it.

Back in December I cracked three ribs. How I don't know. Anyway I didn't feel it. The scar tissue or whatever it is could be seen in an x-ray in January. Since I had an x-ray in early December and there wasn't any then, most likely it happened mid-month.

But so far, no pain. I will have some eventually as the cancer continues to grow and spread. But I'm not there yet. I like being lucid.

We've cut back on my chemotherapy down to half dosage. I don't know why but I have another round of it coming tomorrow morning and will ask the doctor when I see her. It could be that this is all that's needed now to slow the growth. I'm not sure but I feel better since the cut back.

I plan to stick around on the board for a long time. With that said, I plan to stick around a long time period. I've got several locks and an alarm system to keep the grim reaper out.  8)

Edit: I found out why I am on half dosage; my low white blood cell count. They give me something to increase it every time I go. It injects itself twenty-seven hours later. It's some kind of protein. Apparently it is no longer increasing it enough.

I've been away for a couple of weeks and am just now reading about your plight. You certainly seem to be taking matters in stride, and you come across as a very brave person (even though you may not feel that way).  If we can do anything at all to help, let us know.

Randy

Thanks Bruce. I've been told that I'm brave before. Some days, like today, I don't feel it. I'm not scared unless I look towards the future.

My nurse practitioner from the palliative care team talked to my oncologist's NP and got some information she'd like to discuss with me on Wednesday. She wants to talk about their plans for me. I'm apprehensive. Oddly enough, this fits the topic. This is what is on my mind today.

So rather than worry about it (since worrying doesn't do me any good) I get involved in things that entertain me. I'm about to look up something on either Amazon Prime Video or Netflix that's good and action packed, something to take me out of the world for a little bit.

I enjoy this forum. I check it at least twice a day and interject when I can. I don't get as involved as I used to about things as I'm fatigued both from chemo and the cancer. I sleep more than I'm awake and I'd really not like to have my energy zapped if I can help it.

Lastly, about the forum, I don't have to worry about people telling me they are praying for me or something like that. The last person who told me that several times finally got to hear me say, "Try something else. Your prayers aren't working." I continue to get worse which is expected. It's slow but I can look back and see how things progressed.

Grrr. I let this become another book. I'll leave it and only try to make things this long with something worth reading like Rescusant. Now he has some posts that take time to read and only with coffee since I can't have beer.  :hammock: <-- Not a beer but close enough.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Recusant

Egad. I let myself get long-winded sometimes, but usually I attempt to be concise. If you're talking about the science stories, well, that's on you. :lol:

I appreciate you spending time with us, and won't dwell on regrets.  :smilenod:
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Asmodean

Quote from: Recusant on May 26, 2020, 03:53:58 AM
I let myself get long-winded sometimes
If verbosity were a sin, I'd be the devil.  ;D
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Randy

Quote from: Asmodean on May 26, 2020, 11:41:06 AM
Quote from: Recusant on May 26, 2020, 03:53:58 AM
I let myself get long-winded sometimes
If verbosity were a sin, I'd be the devil.  ;D

All hail the great Asmo the Evil!
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Asmodean

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Randy

"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg