What's on your mind today?

[Tank]

In the last three weeks I have had two random women offer me oral sex in a popular stores branch near my work. I'll never look at those dressing rooms in quite the same way. Or likely ever use them again.

I'm so innocent. Does oral sex mean talking about sex?

No, it's listening to it.

I would call that aural sex.

I fucking hate homophones!

[No one]

And here I thought you were enlightened. Homophoneophobia has no place in the values in an honorable and tolerant society.

Good day to you sir!

[xSilverPhinx]

It feels like a Sunday, but it's not.

I don't really know what to do with myself...

[Ecurb Noselrub]

It feels like a Sunday, but it's not.

I don't really know what to do with myself...

Do what you do every Sunday - skip church.

[xSilverPhinx]

It feels like a Sunday, but it's not.

I don't really know what to do with myself...

Do what you do every Sunday - skip church.

Check!

[Magdalena]

...So...
My man says to me, today:
"I want to let you know that we've been together almost 18 years, and in all those years, the jokes you've told me over the years, only 1 % of them made me laugh."

I thought:

You know...considering I've been sharing with him only you guy's jokes, and translating them from English to Spanish and culturally as well.

1% ...That's something.

[jumbojak]

They want me to enter a Jiu-Jitsu tournament along with some other members of the gym. The tournament scheduled in Virginia Beach this March. A two hour drive to lose in the first two minutes seems like a whole lotta effort for little reward.

[xSilverPhinx]

...So...
My man says to me, today:
"I want to let you know that we've been together almost 18 years, and in all those years, the jokes you've told me over the years, only 1 % of them made me laugh."

I thought:

You know...considering I've been sharing with him only you guy's jokes, and translating them from English to Spanish and culturally as well.

1% ...That's something.

There must be something wrong with his funny bone, if he gave you that estimation. I'd say about 86% of your jokes have made me laugh, and that number isn't higher because there isn't the added benefit of tone of voice and nonverbal cues when on a forum.

[xSilverPhinx]

They want me to enter a Jiu-Jitsu tournament along with some other members of the gym. The tournament scheduled in Virginia Beach this March. A two hour drive to lose in the first two minutes seems like a whole lotta effort for little reward.

You might be surprised!

[xSilverPhinx]

Today is Saturday, but it feels like a Tuesday. Or maybe a Thursday. I'm not sure anymore.

[billy rubin]

etes vous une etranger?

[hermes2015]

etes vous une etranger?

Wee (pronounced oui).

[No one]

It's the first day of the rest of your life, Argentium.

[Magdalena]

...So...
My man says to me, today:
"I want to let you know that we've been together almost 18 years, and in all those years, the jokes you've told me over the years, only 1 % of them made me laugh."

I thought:

You know...considering I've been sharing with him only you guy's jokes, and translating them from English to Spanish and culturally as well.

1% ...That's something.

There must be something wrong with his funny bone, if he gave you that estimation. I'd say about 86% of your jokes have made me laugh, and that number isn't higher because there isn't the added benefit of tone of voice and nonverbal cues when on a forum.

86%! That's so sweet.

I make my man laugh, a lot, he was referring to the jokes we post here...You know..."A German a Mexican and an Australian walk into a bar and..." Or, "Knock, knock..." --That type of comedy is difficult because like I said I have to translate the joke from English to Spanish and then I have to translate it culturally as well. By the time I'm done, 15 minutes have gone by, I get a small chuckle from him, and that's how he finds only 1% of my forum jokes funny. .

~But the cultural bridge that I build, that's priceless.
I think that's how The Most Interesting Man in the World is able to have inside jokes with total strangers.

[No one]

Raps 247:
...So...
My man says to me, today:
"I want to let you know that we've been together almost 18 years

So you met him when you were 11?