The Moment You Realized?

[YaarghMatey487]

Hey All,
I was having a discussion with someone the other day about "why" I became an atheist. We were talking about the prevalence of youth groups in our home state (Georgia). I told her that, ironically, church youth group is where I first took a look around and said "well isn't this a load of shit?" The culture of religion in the area I'm from is... a bit extreme. My family attended church together when I was very small but we moved out of town and never really went back again. I voluntarily attended youth and Sunday services with friends (we actually sat apart from the youth group kids and paid attention to the Sunday services). By the time I was in high school I already knew that I didn't agree with many cultural aspects of where I lived but I tried to excuse the things I didn't have a problem with with Bible niceties (i.e. homosexuality, teen sex, etc.). Any way... I was at youth service one Wednesday. We were discussing what it means to be "good." The youth pastor talked about Gandhi's good works. I was already inquisitive and an all around nerd so I actually knew who Gandhi was and had read a bit about him. So...(I'm sure you know where this is leading) when he dropped Gandhi's quote about Christians (“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”), naturally all of the impressionable youths in the room were OUTRAGED, waahhh!! The guy sitting in front of me turned around and said "Gandhi...pfft who was that guy any way. He's wearing a stupid diaper." My mouth dropped. I hoped that the youth leader would maybe lead the discussion toward hypocrisy and how we could better ourselves as people- but no. He just laughed right along with everyone else. It was at that exact moment, looking around at the people I'd known since kindergarten, that I realized how much I didn't buy what they were trying to sell. After that, I went through the same thing I'm sure many of you have.

What about you guys? I know that many of you were raised in a religious household. Did any of you have an "aha" moment as well or was it more of a gradual wandering off?

[Tank]

Never been a believer, so no Ahah! moment for me. But I liked your story.

[sillyseal]

When I was 13, I began to take catechism classes at our catholic church. I was in a room with a woman preaching to us about God and the entire time, I felt like we were being fed BS that I couldn't honestly believe in. Also, my dad had just passed away and I was questioning the subject a lot. When I was a class away from completion, I told my mom that I wasn't a Catholic anymore and wouldn't go through with it. She was disappointed but she didn't know how to force me. At that point, I became an agnostic theist. After more deliberation and reading, I became an agnostic but I felt like I wasn't finished. I watched some Atheist Experience videos on youtube and they seemed to answer questions that others couldn't refute but I was afraid that even though I was mentally an atheist, my "heart" (I don't know how else to put it) couldn't accept that. Then on New Years, something horrible occurred and for a moment, I began to look for comfort in God because my whole childhood, I had truly believed God was there for me. I stopped "praying" because I realized that I really didn't believe I was talking to something. It felt as realistic as if I was conversing with a unicorn. Since then, I knew that my heart and mind were in the same place and I officially became an atheist. Consequently, much more empowering than relying on an unpredictable, invisible entity.

[proudfootz]

I can't say I've had such an 'aha!' moment either when things clicked.

But I think growing up in a christian home in a christian society I never took it seriously - I mean what they were trying to 'teach' always seemed like a joke. Was I really supposed to believe this?

When I did try to put the promises of christianity to the test, it failed miserably. And I realized that it wasn't true. I even spent some time trying to engage believers possibly as a way to get back to that naivete I had as a child. But they were unable to defend their faith against what I knew - and I grew in non-belief since then.

[DeterminedJuliet]

I've mentioned this elsewhere in the "getting to know you" area, but the first time I really realized that I didn't believe in God was in my last year of University. I had always been a more "liberal" Catholic. I've never been against gay marriage, abortion or anything like that, but in my last year of university I took a Holocaust History seminar course.
At one point I remember reading a first hand account about how two SS soldiers killed a young girl on the street in broad daylight. For absolutely no reason, because they were bored. I distinctly remember thinking "fuck this, there's no way there's a God."

Everything since then has kind of "clicked" and I find it strange to think that I ever subscribed to religion.

[Cecilie]

I was never religious, but I was confirmed and ever since then I wasn't agnostic anymore, I was an atheist.

[Twentythree]

I’m not sure about an aha moment but I can say that I was brought up fairly Christian, I was baptized catholic, but I think for me it was the vast and never ending contradictions. It started small with things like, if god loved us all like children, why would he initiate a massive flood to kill us all? If it all began with just Adam and just eve wouldn’t people have had to sleep with their brothers and sisters? How come god spoke to people in bible times but has not said anything to anyone since. What kind of sadistic practical joke is it to try to get a guy to kill his own son just for you to show up and stop him right at the last second. I understand now that most of that is used as metaphor but still why teach a child with a literal mind things that are so deeply buried in symbolism.

 I also got into science very early and so when I heard things like god is “up there” and the devil is “down there” I was always responding with, no…the milky way is “up there” and the earth’s mantle is “down there”. I was into paleontology, I loved fossils and dinosaurs, I was able to grasp the concept of evolution early and found that religion and since were quite considerably at odd with one another. I ultimately chose science and the god of empirical evidence.

[Twentythree]

I was never religious, but I was confirmed and ever since then I wasn't agnostic anymore, I was an atheist.

that is fairly cryptic, what do you mean, "confirmed" like in church? How did this persuade or dissuade you from further religiosity?

[Cecilie]

I was never religious, but I was confirmed and ever since then I wasn't agnostic anymore, I was an atheist.

that is fairly cryptic, what do you mean, "confirmed" like in church? How did this persuade or dissuade you from further religiosity?

Yes, in a church. I didn't actually think people took the Bible seriously before that and learning that they did made me realize that I wasn't religious at all. I guess it's difficult to explain, especially since my English is fairly limited.

[Asmodean]

I join myself to those here who have never had such one moment of realisation.

There was, however, a moment when I started to identify myself as atheist. It's not a very fascinating story.

[Soren Gregev]

It had been a long day. Sitting here, I type on an old laptop in the early morning; I can not quite remember the events. I do remember it was cold. I can recall the frost from my breath. The barren trees. My classmates, now tidied away in cliques and trampy groups had sneered and jostled with me in the school hallways. All I wanted to do was get home and pray to my beloved god.

It was around high school that I began questioning my faith, thanks to the glowing screen of internet forums and atheist websites. Interestingly enough, it all started because I had wanted to converse with atheists about religious matters. You can imagine that I went through a veritable hell with struggles and doubt. In the end, the aha moment came while I was in the bathroom, naked and vulnerable. I was bent over, crying out for god--mary...joseph, anyone to help me. The cold showerhead sprayed needs on my skin, back, legs and neck. But as I lay there, locked in the feteal position...shivering...cold...and desperate--no one came.

It was then that I unlocked a tremendous depressioin within myself. I gave up.

Forgive the pun, but I pray that the story has a happy conclusion.

[Twentythree]

It had been a long day. Sitting here, I type on an old laptop in the early morning; I can not quite remember the events. I do remember it was cold. I can recall the frost from my breath. The barren trees. My classmates, now tidied away in cliques and trampy groups had sneered and jostled with me in the school hallways. All I wanted to do was get home and pray to my beloved god.

It was around high school that I began questioning my faith, thanks to the glowing screen of internet forums and atheist websites. Interestingly enough, it all started because I had wanted to converse with atheists about religious matters. You can imagine that I went through a veritable hell with struggles and doubt. In the end, the aha moment came while I was in the bathroom, naked and vulnerable. I was bent over, crying out for god--mary...joseph, anyone to help me. The cold showerhead sprayed needs on my skin, back, legs and neck. But as I lay there, locked in the feteal position...shivering...cold...and desperate--no one came.

It was then that I unlocked a tremendous depressioin within myself. I gave up.

Forgive the pun, but I pray that the story has a happy conclusion.

So, what were you looking for? What would you consider a happy ending?

Are you referring to giving up on the faith in the supernatural?

[Soren Gregev]

A life well lived, of course. Nothing more, nothing less.  

[MariaEvri]

hmm not for me. I never had an "aha" moment. I remember when I was in elementary I would believe there was a god (but not in a church-going way. I believed he wouldn't care about stuff like that). But slowly slowly I started discovering national geographic and science in general, and made me realise, there's no place for a god. Everything is/will be explained.
It happened so gradually, that I honestly can't remember when I stopped believing and I became an atheist. Sometime between elementary an early high school I guess

[Maria]

Like many others here I didn't have a specific aha (or 'Eureka') moment, just an accumulation of 'hmmm' moments. My parents are what I call 'apatheists'. I think most people in the UK can be placed in that category. I never took any of it seriously even in Religious Education classes in school. One key moment - which I mentioned in the Introductions forum - was when a boy asked the following question in an RE class one day: why were we all punished when Adam & Eve bit a piece of fruit but rewarded for the murder of Jesus Christ? Apparently, biting that apple was the worst crime in the history of the universe; but on the other hand, scourging and crucifying the Son of God is... just great!
At the age of 12 I began to take an interest in space and discovered the sheer scale of the universe. Meanwhile, in RE, I read about the supposed creator of these 100 billion galaxies wrestling with Jacob, failing to defeat an army of iron chariots, commanding human and animal sacrifices (because he wanted to smell the burning flesh), and laying down, in great and tedious detail, how he wants ceremonies conducted.
This all struck me as being rather incongruous, to say the least.
At some point I wondered why they were wasting our time with all these bronze age ravings.