would a religious upbring been more fulfilling?

[thegirl]

i'm just going to jump right in because i've never made an introduction before on a forum. be warned, i've grown tired of pressing shift so caps of any kind is a rarity for me. i have spell check, but i'm more of a 'use of the wrong spelling' kind of girl.

i chose the name thegirl because it's general and understandable and literally, that's how i'm introduced at work. i lurked here a few months ago when i was feeling the same way but joined another forum i didn't really get into.

the few friends i have would describe me as funny, open minded, out spoken and goofy. my son would just call me goofy. i'm always trying to make people laugh, even if it's at my own expense. if anything, i've learned that laughter can really make you feel better. and hearing someone laugh at your goofiness feels good too.

my religious background is null. my grandparents were catholic. i was baptized/christen/dunked protestant. the only time i can remember being at church as a kid was when i fell off a pew. i was, i don't know, 3 maybe 4. it was before preschool. i bent over in the pew putting my head between my legs and was looking at peoples shoes behind me. it was just cool to look at. i must of leaned a bit too far and BANG!!! my head was between the kneel thing and the pew and my legs were up in the air. my grandparents were PISSED! i don't remember ever going to church again.

my only religious type memories are as follows:
when i was in grade school all the kids went to CCD. i wanted to go. my mom laughed at me and said no.
my mom went to a catholic school. i remember having a conversation with her about it. she said, "the only thing that came out of catholic schools are nuns and nymphos." all i remember thinking was, 'you're not a nun!'
i asked my sister if she believed in god. she said yes. i asked why and she said just in case he's real.
i was at a friends house when at the dinner table she declared she was an atheist. her mother said, "that means you don't believe in anything, you believe in something. don't you? you should use the term agnostic. that was probably in 1988. i was 16.
that's my entire religious education as a child. god has never been taught to me, so a belief in it is non existent. i've come across people (my boss, a best friend, another bosses wife) that tried to convince me that i believed in god. i've had my morality challenged, which i still don't get. and i've been told i have no faith. which i believe, and it's probably the only thing i "believe", that i have more faith than most religious people. but solely in myself and my abilities to do the right thing.
 
but then i wonder.

i wonder why my relationship didn't work out. i wonder why i don't have a career. i wonder why i feel alone. i wonder if i could be happier if i accept god into my life. all the advertising seems happy.

but then i think.

i can't ever accept a god. i know it's not real. i'd have to pretend like i believe in something that i know in my heart isn't true. i'd have to fake it. and i'm way too honest and blunt to fake anything. what you see is what you get. and what i say is really what i mean. unless i'm having a blonde moment (yes, i'm blonde,) i know i'm wrong sometimes. i can admit it.

anyway, i just wonder if my life would of been better or of maybe even had more meaning if i believed in anything. but then i worry that i wouldn't be as open minded, forgiving and honest if i did. i think, really, my main concern is that religion could have given me more motivation to do more than just sit on the internet and pour my heart out. i feel like i'm wallowing and i'm not sure in what. pity? heartbreak? reluctance?

could, please notice i'm asking not telling, could belief in a higher power bring about a better human existence? a happier existence? my heart tells me no. but it's been wrong before.

[Will]

Ignorance is only the illusion of bliss. I was raised a Lutheran and it never granted me some great fulfillment. Religion more meant a bizarre combination of denial and fear.

Being true to yourself is the path to fulfillment. Welcome to the forum.

[The Magic Pudding]

Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!

Well I have my doubts about his claim to have created the world, but there are some very good bits out there, trees, oceans, rivers, mountains, animals and capital letters.
I can believe in them, and music is good, even the religious stuff.

Welcome tg,  I look forward to you making me laugh.

[elliebean]

could, please notice i'm asking not telling, could belief in a higher power bring about a better human existence? a happier existence? my heart tells me no. but it's been wrong before.

I'm mostly happy now, but before I was an atheist suffering from depression, I was a Christian suffering from depression. The only real difference is that, instead of asking yourself, "why does my life suck?" you're always wondering, "why is God mad at me?"

I much prefer the former. Unlike the latter, there are potentially answers to that question and things you can do about it.

[Tank]

Hi

Welcome aboard, I've been away for a couple of weeks an I'm playing catch up on my greeting duties!

Regards
Chris

[TheWilliam]

gonna have to charge for use the name.

[Whitney]

I know many well adjusted, happy, successful, ethical people who were brought up either by atheists or simply by parents who didn't follow a religion.  So, no, I see no reason why being raised religious would be more fulfilling.

[Recusant]

Hello, and welcome to HAF, thegirl.

Thanks for the fine introductory post.  Personally, I might answer the title question in the affirmative, but only in a very narrow sense.  From my perspective, being brought up in a fairly religious family was fulfilling.  I found it very fulfilling to break free of the dogma and superstition with which they (and the school they sent me to) were trying to indoctrinate me.  I was about 11 at the time, and didn't tell anyone about my self-deconversion, because I knew full well that it would lead to no end of trouble.  But I consider that my realization that Christianity was a myth like any other was the moment when I began to become an adult.

In a more general sense, I think that the majority of people who identify themselves as religious are really just following the herd. They take their faith for granted, and it may provide solace in times of bereavement, but it hardly impinges on their lives otherwise.  Even many church-going people are attending services more as a social thing than as an active means of re-affirming their faith. The benefits of community seem much more important to them than the mumbo-jumbo of the church service.  The fulfillment provided by the fellowship aspect of religion is not to be denied.  If you're yearning for that, but don't think that you can lie to yourself or others about your lack of faith, you might consider attending a Unitarian Universalist church.  They don't require their members to adopt any particular dogma, and even though the roots of the church are Christian, they welcome non-Christians.

I really don't think that anybody can say that had you been brought up in a religious household, your life up till now would have gone better, or that you would have made better choices.  There are plenty of devout Christians who've made a royal mess of their lives, and it doesn't sound as if that's what you've done.  Don't be too  hard on yourself.  You made the choices you did for your own reasons.  You seem to be asking: If you had been raised Christian, would that have somehow made you more competent to make life decisions?  Well, only the Christian members of the forum might answer that in the affirmative. :cool:

[theclassicist]

 I was going to post a clever reply, saying all the things that Recusant just said...then s/he said them all...essentially, the thing i agree most with there is that you may indeed have had a very fulfilling life growing up as a christian.
  I didnt but Im quite sure many people do...then again so do lots of people brought up as Buddhists or with parents dedicated to NLP, or soccer too.
Welcome!

[a-train]

I think an upbringing wherein one learns about religion, the philosophy of religion, and the history of religion would be more fulfilling than one void of such an education.  But surely an upbringing full of fear and guilt laid on by those engaged in priestcraft would be better avoided.

-a-train

[phoenixrrt62]

i'm just going to jump right in because i've never made an introduction before on a forum. be warned, i've grown tired of pressing shift so caps of any kind is a rarity for me. i have spell check, but i'm more of a 'use of the wrong spelling' kind of girl.

i chose the name thegirl because it's general and understandable and literally, that's how i'm introduced at work. i lurked here a few months ago when i was feeling the same way but joined another forum i didn't really get into.

the few friends i have would describe me as funny, open minded, out spoken and goofy. my son would just call me goofy. i'm always trying to make people laugh, even if it's at my own expense. if anything, i've learned that laughter can really make you feel better. and hearing someone laugh at your goofiness feels good too.

my religious background is null. my grandparents were catholic. i was baptized/christen/dunked protestant. the only time i can remember being at church as a kid was when i fell off a pew. i was, i don't know, 3 maybe 4. it was before preschool. i bent over in the pew putting my head between my legs and was looking at peoples shoes behind me. it was just cool to look at. i must of leaned a bit too far and BANG!!! my head was between the kneel thing and the pew and my legs were up in the air. my grandparents were PISSED! i don't remember ever going to church again.

my only religious type memories are as follows:
when i was in grade school all the kids went to CCD. i wanted to go. my mom laughed at me and said no.
my mom went to a catholic school. i remember having a conversation with her about it. she said, "the only thing that came out of catholic schools are nuns and nymphos." all i remember thinking was, 'you're not a nun!'
i asked my sister if she believed in god. she said yes. i asked why and she said just in case he's real.
i was at a friends house when at the dinner table she declared she was an atheist. her mother said, "that means you don't believe in anything, you believe in something. don't you? you should use the term agnostic. that was probably in 1988. i was 16.
that's my entire religious education as a child. god has never been taught to me, so a belief in it is non existent. i've come across people (my boss, a best friend, another bosses wife) that tried to convince me that i believed in god. i've had my morality challenged, which i still don't get. and i've been told i have no faith. which i believe, and it's probably the only thing i "believe", that i have more faith than most religious people. but solely in myself and my abilities to do the right thing.
 
but then i wonder.

i wonder why my relationship didn't work out. i wonder why i don't have a career. i wonder why i feel alone. i wonder if i could be happier if i accept god into my life. all the advertising seems happy.

but then i think.

i can't ever accept a god. i know it's not real. i'd have to pretend like i believe in something that i know in my heart isn't true. i'd have to fake it. and i'm way too honest and blunt to fake anything. what you see is what you get. and what i say is really what i mean. unless i'm having a blonde moment (yes, i'm blonde,) i know i'm wrong sometimes. i can admit it.

anyway, i just wonder if my life would of been better or of maybe even had more meaning if i believed in anything. but then i worry that i wouldn't be as open minded, forgiving and honest if i did. i think, really, my main concern is that religion could have given me more motivation to do more than just sit on the internet and pour my heart out. i feel like i'm wallowing and i'm not sure in what. pity? heartbreak? reluctance?

could, please notice i'm asking not telling, could belief in a higher power bring about a better human existence? a happier existence? my heart tells me no. but it's been wrong before.

I really don't think that, no....I was raised in 2 Catholic foster homes, a Presbyterian group home, and my mother was pretty religious. At one time she belonged to the Church of the Brethen...but my bio mom didn't raise me, so I was mostly influenced by the RC church, was baptized catholic, but never received any other sacraments.

My foster parents were mighty big on making US go to church every Sunday, but they rarely went, if at all. Go figure. I never went to CCD, went to public school...so whatever understanding I managed to get from the RC church, it was through observation...and that wasn't much. They go through a scripted form they use every week, with little deviation. Bizarre...I could walk into a catholic mass and spit out the responses right now...they were beat into my head. I even know one or 2 Latin responses, from when they said the mass in Latin. Meh.

When I was a kid, I was mighty big on reading the bible, for the reasons you mention. I was a rather lonely child, and the foster family treated us like we didn't exist for the most part....so I turned to the bible...had one my mom gave me when I was about 7, and I read that book all the time, along with any other book I could get my grubby little hands on....did having God and Jesus in my life help me? No.

In fact, I think it may well have hurt me. I used to think it was only right to turn the other cheek, and honor my foster parents, no matter how they treated me. If I didn't read and believe that BS, I may well have told someone a LOT sooner about the shitty foster home and got assistance a LOT earlier. Yeah, in some ways religion can be a false comfort. Just my take on it.

My son was raised with very little religious influence, I did expose him a bit to the christian religion, b/c at the time I still believed in some form of God, but...now, well, I don't know. My son is more strident in his atheism than I am, I still am wishy-washy. I suppose because I was so into religion when I was a kid? DK.

[theclassicist]

I was raised in a christian home and my childhood wasnt particularly happy.  My folks werent particularly happy either.  They just did the best they could in life and as parents, and their religion was part of their worldview.  We still had troubles the same way lots of families have troubles.  Not that it was devoid of happiness.  Personally, i get a lot of happiness and well being from being at peace with my self and my beliefs, and my relationships.  i would recommend 'the god delusion' by Richard Dawkins as a book that might bring you some peace of mind on the subject of atheism generally.  Oh dear, im preaching now.  I suppose what i mean is that a text like that helps one to clarify all the arguments one has and can firm up your own beliefs as a result, atheist or otherwise.