Parents and adult children - how does it work?

[Explorer]

I understand how you're feeling, but I wonder whether it's productive?  Sure, they're not doing either you or your brother any favours by under-supporting you and over-supporting him, but in the end it's their decision.  If your parents couldn't support either of you, how would your life be different?  If you stopped worrying about the support your brother was receiving, would your life be better simply for the lack of worry and the clarity of knowing that there wasn't even the hope of a safety net?

That said, what you are going through is affirmative action in microcosm.  Because part of your society has a disadvantage (disability/minority/female/immigrant/just plain useless) the powers that be are giving him welfare benefits that the rest of your society doesn't receive.  Your obvious choices are to make the most of it on your own, protest or disengage from the society.  

Odds are none of those options will get you any more welfare, or the disadvantaged member of your society less, because to the powers that be, what they are doing is "leveling the playing field".

Your best bet, if you want to get "your fair share", is to approach it as an evidence-based policy debate, rather than trying to appeal to "fairness".  They already think they're being "fair".  What you need to show them is that they are harming the whole society by adopting a sub-optimal policy.  Instead of showing how it disadvantages you, show how their misguided policy disadvantages the very part of society they are trying to help.  Be the sage policy adviser, rather than the petulant tax-payer.

I know a number of bi-polar people, some better medicated than others.  The well medicated ones are generally impressive people, each in their own way.  Bi-polarity needn't be a major disadvantage.  It sounds to me like your brother is actually more disadvantaged by being treated like an invalid all his life, than by his imbalance.

Good luck.

[Asmodean]

On an unrelated note, why does your avatar claim that god is a complex number?  

[The Magic Pudding]

So are you saying -2 has a square root?
What is the correct smilie for fear of an answer? :eek2:

[Asmodean]

So are you saying -2 has a square root?
What is the correct smilie for fear of an answer? :eek2:

Indeed. sqrt(-2) can be written as sqrt(2)*sqrt(-1), which amounts to sqrt(2)i

EDIT: you can look up complex numbers for a more detailed explanation, or I can provide one for you in as simple terms as I know how... I'll only do that on demand though   Basically, very basically, you are adding a non-geometric dimension to the number by adding negative roots to it.

[Whitney]

There are things my family doesn't bring up around each other often because we know we can't fix the problem, it's not actually hurting us directly anymore, and all it does is cause problems or make people upset to talk about it.  We came about this general rule naturally but perhaps you should make a rule of don't talk about the brother when around your parents.  If your brother is always around when you visit them tell your parents you don't want to be around him in situations where he is allowed to behave inappropriately and will not be visiting if he will be there as well...this will piss off your parents but it puts the decision to be around them in their court (downside, you have to stick to your guns and it might take a long time for them to realize you were serious).

I didn't talk to my mom for over two years because she was behaving poorly (understatement) and I didn't want to condone the situation; apparently this worked great because now she goes out of her way to act appropriately around me (even when she doesn't do so for my sister...trying to fix that too) because she doesn't want me to not talk to her again.

Basically, as kids get older roles change and sometimes the child has to teach the parent.

In this case with one of the kids being bipolar I would imagine your parents really don't see that they have any choice but to help him out to make sure he doesn't live on the street.  Maybe they need you to help parent your brother and introduce them to programs they can take advantage of?  They already know you can take care of yourslef without living on the street so their focus is elsewhere.  Just because we understand bipolar is a treatable condition and that most who have it are able to hold a steady job (even a really good job) doesn't mean your parents understand it and might think you are just jealous of the help they give him.  (when in fact their help is actually not helping your brother at all, just setting him up to be screwed when your parents are no longer able to provide for him)

[Asmodean]

On an unrelated note, why is your avatar so small?   )

[The Magic Pudding]

Whitney's post was kind, caring and insightful, her parents should be proud.

Asmodean's post was intentionally vicious and cruel, intending me harm.
It's just not natural.

[Asmodean]

Whitney's post was kind, caring and insightful, her parents should be proud.

Asmodean's post was intentionally vicious and cruel, intending me harm.
It's just not natural.

LOL! Asmodean is in the mood of the century today, so assume his trollishness is meant to be good-natured  

[The Magic Pudding]

LOL! Asmodean is in the mood of the century today, so assume his trollishness is meant to be good-natured  

Are you saying the next 90 years are all downhill?
I don't think I can cope with a happy Asmodean.
How do I set the world aright?
You're not going to change your avatar are you?
It's one of my favourites.

[Asmodean]

Are you saying the next 90 years are all downhill?
I don't think I can cope with a happy Asmodean.
How do I set the world aright?
You're not going to change your avatar are you?
It's one of my favourites.

Oh, give it one day, and avatar-like Asmodean is back.

And technically, this mood of the century is a quarter-way in, so it's about 75 years until the next time.

And on an unrelated note, why does your avatar have chicken legs?  

[The Magic Pudding]

It's how Norman drew me, I had no say in the matter.
The plot required a pudding that could run, but not to fast.

Most puddings have no legs at all you know.

[Asmodean]

Most puddings have no legs at all you know.

:idea:

[The Magic Pudding]

More substantial legs would divert the attention of the diner from the main body of the pudding.
This could have been a consideration that to occurred to the creator.

[Explorer]

On an unrelated note, why does your avatar claim that god is a complex number?

It doesn't.  Sqrt(-2) isn't complex, it's only imaginary and irrational.  Pure whY axis, baby!

[Asmodean]

On an unrelated note, why does your avatar claim that god is a complex number?

It doesn't.  Sqrt(-2) isn't complex, it's only imaginary and irrational.  Pure whY axis, baby!

It is indeed complex, even when not written in standard or exponential form.

I think you quite misunderstand what an imaginary part is, by the way. It adds an actual dimension. Non-geometric one, granted, that is why it's called "imaginary", but it's there none the less... My work, for one, would sometimes be futile without it.