So my sister "came out" as a christian...

[hasone]

And I went, "what?".

Sorry, I like to tease a bit with my topic names. Some background.

I was raised in a family without religion, and growing up never gave much thought to it. I remember going to a christian summer camp when I was little, and the grown-ups there were telling me about got and I accepted God the way I accepted other things grown-ups told me, as just part of the way the world is, but after I stopped going there I stopped thinking about it until I was a teenager.

When I started thinking about it, I found no reason to believe in God, I knew more about science and logic and the religion thing seemed rather irrational, and that was that.

So my sister went away to college in the South (not that it particularly matters, there's a church on/near most campuses), and came back and was going to church every (other) Sunday. I went, "what?". I could not understand. My gut reaction was to question her, preach to her, convert her to my belief system. She was chasing imaginary pixies in the sky! I had to save her!

I choose that word deliberately.  I've heard tales of family trying to save their lost atheist black sheeps, bring them back into the fold. I wanted to do the same thing, and I have to admit, I did some of it. I gave in to my urge to save her.  Of course, I quickly realized that if I kept this up I was going to lose her, so I stopped. It helps that, being a child of my parents, she pushed nothing on me, so pretty soon I started feeling guilty.

I realized later I shouldn't have reacted that way at all.  

But I did.

[Tank]

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[The Black Jester]

Welcome, welcome!

I can speak to this somewhat, as I have been in the same situation - from the other side.  I was the Christian convert.  I was similarly born to delightfully secular parents, who were, to say the least, baffled by my sudden conversion to fundamentalist Christianity in my early teens.  My father's response to this was perfect and priceless, and I will always be grateful to him for it.  He never ridiculed, mocked or demanded - anything - regarding my belief system.  But at the same time, he never quite let me be.  He would, periodically mind you, engage me in what he liked to refer to as "verbal jousts" in which he would question my specific beliefs - with absolute sincerity, never with ridicule or condemnation, his sincere curiosity was the key to his success.  His questions were always delivered with a deft touch and a light heart, but this only made them penetrate the deeper, because they were always incisive and directly to the point.  I would often become flustered at my inability to respond satisfactorily, but he never would.  If I ever became too emotional, rather than dropping the conversation, he would back off a little, put his arm around me and reassure me of his love.  I never appreciated this at the time, but he was showing me how important our intimacy was to him, and simultaneously demonstrating how important it was never to stop thinking, no matter how uncomfortable thinking can sometimes be.  In the end, for me, this strategy worked precisely because I never got the sense that his love was contingent on the outcome of the debate, and because it taught me the value of never being satisfied with any belief system you might currently possess - it wasn't just about Christianity.  In the end, he let me deconvert myself.

[Tank]

Welcome, welcome!

I can speak to this somewhat, as I have been in the same situation - from the other side.  I was the Christian convert.  I was similarly born to delightfully secular parents, who were, to say the least, baffled by my sudden conversion to fundamentalist Christianity in my early teens.  My father's response to this was perfect and priceless, and I will always be grateful to him for it.  He never ridiculed, mocked or demanded - anything - regarding my belief system.  But at the same time, he never quite let me be.  He would, periodically mind you, engage me in what he liked to refer to as "verbal jousts" in which he would question my specific beliefs - with absolute sincerity, never with ridicule or condemnation, his sincere curiosity was the key to his success.  His questions were always delivered with a deft touch and a light heart, but this only made them penetrate the deeper, because they were always incisive and directly to the point.  I would often become flustered at my inability to respond satisfactorily, but he never would.  If I ever became too emotional, rather than dropping the conversation, he would back off a little, put his arm around me and reassure me of his love.  I never appreciated this at the time, but he was showing me how important our intimacy was to him, and simultaneously demonstrating how important it was never to stop thinking, no matter how uncomfortable thinking can sometimes be.  In the end, for me, this strategy worked precisely because I never got the sense that his love was contingent on the outcome of the debate, and because it taught me the value of never being satisfied with any belief system you might currently possess - it wasn't just about Christianity.  In the end, he let me deconvert myself.

Sensible bloke your Dad!

[The Black Jester]

Sensible bloke your Dad!

Indeed he is...I've been very lucky.

[Martin TK]

Sensible bloke your Dad!

Indeed he is...I've been very lucky.

I did something similar with my children growing up, I let them go to church, then we would have open discussions on what they were feeling.  I didn't make it confrontational, but I always made them defend their positions.  Now that my oldest has a wife who is more fundamentalist Christian, he and I have had some very interesting internet debates, but his wife hates me because I am an atheist.

Well, welcome to the HAF.

[pinkocommie]

Welcome!  I was raised in a secular household and my sister became Christian too.  I think she kind of expected the rest of us to make a big deal out of her sudden belief, but we pretty much ignored it since our parents always taught us that belief/disbelief was a personal choice anyway.  The only fight we ever had as a family about it was when she started talking about how evolution could really just be a plot by the scientific community to undermine Christianity.  But as far as wanting to save her or anything - didn't really react that way.  My general reaction was 'huh.'

I hope you like it here!