Has anybody lost friends due to religion?

[Struzball]

My x-gf/best friend/ex best friend, just last night said she loved me and I'll always be a friend in her heart.

Her msn name quotes 'I can do all things through Christ who giveth me strength' ~ Phillipians 4:13

I suggested to her just now that it's actually her inner strength and willpower that will let her do whatever she wants to do, like me.  So she flips out about me having an anti-christ attitude and she can say whatever she wants about god because he's her savior.

I told her she never used to be like that (it's only recently she's showed any interest in church etc) and I don't want to see sms's of her prayers for 'saving' me.  And she replied and said 'end of friendship, I don't even know why we talk any more.'

It's such a pity Christianity or my lack of understanding/tolerance ruined our friendship.  Has anybody else had a similar experience?  What do you do? Just accept she's changed and is lost to her religion and there's nothing I can do?

[pjkeeley]

That astonishes me. I don't want to sound dismissive or arrogant, but that would totally like never happen in this country. I'm not saying that America is stupid or evil or anything (I assume you're American?), there just simply aren't enough hardcore Christians here for that to happen to anyone I've known. Around 20% of the population is Christian (of various denominations) compared to almost the same amount irrelgious (atheists/agnostics). Virtually no evangelicals. Even the ones that are into all that "Jesus is my guiding strength" bollocks (I know a few) will discuss it open-mindedly with me and are accepting of atheists. I attended a Catholic school and was never provoked into a single argument over religion (except with some teachers, but that was always very civil and good natured). Perhaps the Australian reputation for being easy going is accurate (not hard to see why I guess -- settled by convicts as opposed to puritans).

[Struzball]

I'm Australian, though she grew up in South Africa till she was 10, they're a bit different over there.

[pjkeeley]

Sorry must have missed your flag there. Wow, not cool. I guess my response would be (though I've never been in the situation so there's no emotional attachment here), anyone who would end a friendship based solely on differences of opinion about religion is not worth the effort. They're the ones whose job it is to convert, not us.

[Squid]

An ex dumped me because I didn't "let Jesus into my heart and fill me with love" and since I didn't do that she said that she could not love me because Christ was her first love.  This coming from the girl who cheated on me while we were together and said they god forgave her and she doesn't need my forgiveness.  WTF?! I ask!  WTF?!

[Whitney]

I haven't had anything like that occur but I did find that people who were friends with me at church didn't want anything to do with me at school...that's when I quit going to church.

[MommaSquid]

My brother and I have grown apart over the last several years, and I contribute part of this distance between us to his new religious beliefs.  

He converted to some flavor of Southern Baptist a few years ago when he got married and even goes to bible study.  (shiver)

The last time I visited my brother, he invited me to attend church with him and told me I need to "get right with God".   I told him that wasn't going to happen.  In order to keep our relationship from completely disintegrating, I don't discuss my atheism with him.

If a visitor does something of which he doesn't approve he chastises them by saying "this is a Christian home" and pulling a holier-than-thou face.

Someone needs to pull the stick out of his ass.  He was never like this before.  Even his wife is surprised by his behavior and religious fervour.

[donkeyhoty]

It's an odd thing, well not really, that religion is such a dividing force as to break up friendships and family.  Whereas other dogmatic belief systems doesn't  provide such irreconcilable differences. i.e. Mary Matalin and James Carville, if you don't know who they are, well they are married and one is a big time Republican consultant/strategist and the other is a big time Democratic consultant/strategist.  

If these two can resist the urge to "talk politics" at home and thusly more than likely break-up their marriage why does religion have to break shit up?  Nevermind, that's a shitty rhetorical question.  I wouldn't marry a religious girl, nor can I really date any for more than little while.  Friends, on the other hand, well I've had plenty of religious friends.  They just weren't overtly religious, and we never talked religion.  Family- they have been getting progressively more overtly religious over the past few years, and it's annoying as hell.

In summation, we're all petty in our own ways.  Some things are irreconcilable and some aren't.  Some republicans can marry democrats, and some atheists can marry theists, and some can't.  Maybe if I pray to Venus she can tell us why love is so fickle.

[SteveS]

Man, this topic can cause my ears to steam ( ).  For one thing,

This coming from the girl who cheated on me while we were together and said they god forgave her and she doesn't need my forgiveness. WTF?! I ask! WTF?!

I HATE the confession ritual for the same reason --- they just make everything good with god (who, by the way, most likely doesn't even exist) rather than squaring up with the people they've dorked over.  It's like a face saving freebie - don't worry about the people that got screwed, just go tell a faceless priest and it will all be okay.  Bullshit!

Something else I hate that plays into this topic: it's okay for religious people to tell me they're "praying for me", or that "god has blessed me", without even finding out if I'm religious.  But, if I drop any "off color" comments about religion or religious beliefs, I'm telling you, man, you can see people physically stiffen up.  What gives with the one-way street?  My beliefs are just as important to me, my life outlook, my happiness and my understanding as theirs are to them.

Case in point,

I don't want to see sms's of her prayers for 'saving' me. And she replied and said 'end of friendship, I don't even know why we talk any more.'

See, now, she got torqued out because she couldn't send you prayers for your salvation (?!?).  What if you kept sending her messages hoping she would drop her superstition and become rational again?  She'd probably be pissed, right?  So, she would ask you to stop, and you'd say "that's it, friendship off"?.  Of course you wouldn't.  This is what I mean --- they feel they have a right to just blast their views at people, and it only goes one way.

A final thought,

Maybe if I pray to Venus she can tell us why love is so fickle.

Eh, I tried that.  Venus was unavailable for comment  :? .

[Will]

The pope removed me from his christmas list.

[Dnatseih Werdna]

I lost my last girl friend because of religion. At first she didn't even go to church, and we were doing a lot of "not Christian" things. I knew her parents were religious and that she was married before because their beliefs told her that's the only time it was appropriate for her to have sex. So after a while she got back into religion. I even wasted my time and went to her cult....I mean church..... with her trying to be the good guy and see her point of view. Her parents even liked me. I really felt like part of the family. I thought things were going well, then she dumps the line "I can't be with someone who isn't a Christian" on me......WTF?

[Struzball]

I thought things were going well, then she dumps the line "I can't be with someone who isn't a Christian" on me......WTF?

Same thing happened to my mate, she dumped him because 'he wasn't christian enough'.  I take it to meaning he wants sex she doesn't.  
My ex-gf also did the same to a guy she recently went out with, a week or two into it they broke up because he wanted sex and she didn't, and he went to church with her and all.
Geez, it's hard enough to get laid at the best of times, imagine if everybody turned into a churchie.

[Tom62]

Same thing happened to my mate, she dumped him because 'he wasn't christian enough'.  I take it to meaning he wants sex she doesn't.

So the good old phrase: "Not now, I've got a headache" has changed to "Not now, you are not christian enough"?

[Sophia]

I don't know yet. It seems a friend I have had for a while was 'cool' with my being Wiccan (when I was, which is no longer) but now I've told him this change of belief, change of attitude or 'vision' I guess.. he's worried he has to 'set me straight.' I told him I'd rather be crooked as I like all the different, nifty angles.
This from the guy that is mad at the church for not letting gay people in it. Anyway.. our last few 'hang out for a bit' s were rough...