Invitation to Passover celebration

[AlP]

I just had dinner with my roommates family. They're awesome. They're Reform Jews and say they are not religious but maintain Jewish traditions. My roommate's mom invited me over for Passover. I looked it up; it's a celebration of God killing the firstborn of all but the Jews (who were passed-over).

Pros:
I really like them and I don't want to appear rude.
They aren't particularly religious and it will likely be more about food and drink than anything else.
There can be no proselytizing because one can't become a Jew, one has to be born of a Jewish mother.
One of the traditional dishes involves three different kinds of fish and chicken liver. It sounds interesting.

Cons:
It's celebrating God killing people.
There will be a certain amount of scripture reading.
I'll probably break down and start arguing religion at some point.

Thoughts? Should I go? If not, how do I say so diplomatically?

Thanks!

[pinkocommie]

I'd be curious to check something like that out.

[Tanker]

I would go. I think it would be an interesting chance to broaden my horizens.I wouldn't hide my atheism but I wouldn't advertise it either. From your desciption I don't think it will be a huge issue forthem anyway. Just remain respectful. If you have questions ask them but remeber to ask out or interest not derision or a want to challenge their beliefs. I would think that it wouldn't be overly religious considering your decription of thier faith but there probably will be prayer(s) and the passover story. The traditional food is probably going to be bland but I doubt that's all they will serve. (I'm not an expert by any means on Judeism but my Grandma was raised Jewish so I have some general knowledge)

If they were Christian the equivilent would be Easter brunch or mabye more like Chritmas dinner. If you had been invited to either of those would you say no?

[Recusant]

Should I go?

My advice would be yes, by all means go and enjoy the Seder dinner.

1) Good home-cooked food.  Can't go wrong there.  And four glasses of wine to lubricate the proceedings.
2) If this family is non-religious, as you say, then there shouldn't be much of an issue with your atheism.  For many non-religious Jews, this is just a fun time to get together and appreciate tradition. One of my good friends used to have a Seder dinner every year for his circle of bike messenger associates, and it was always a blast.  One year I even photocopied a bunch of "non-traditional" Haggadot for him as my contribution to the dinner.
3) There is no need to be too militant about your atheism.  They already know you're not Jewish, as far as that goes, so it's not like they expect you to believe in the supernatural aspect of the event.  The Jewish faith is far from evangelical, so they are not going to be trying to convince you of the validity of Judaism.  To be polite, you only have to mumble along when recitations are part of the Seder.

You might want to read the wiki page on Passover Seder to get an idea of what you'll be in for.  Quite likely the Seder your friend's family will hold will not be as involved as the full-blown Seder, though.  It's traditional to invite non-family members to the Seder, and I think you'll have a nice time, if you like these people.

If you attend, it'd be interesting to hear how it went.

[Whitney]

I would go, it will probably be interesting.  If they don't push their views on you there really is no need to have to argue with them especially if they view the celebration with a secular mindset.

btw, the passover story is about god killing the first born son of all families and only those who spread sheeps (or maybe it was lamb, whatever) blood across their doorways were spared.  Supposedly everyone was made aware of this requirement (but of course no one who wasn't a jew would have seen the need to do it...I think there was one roman who's door the jews did put blood on unless that was just from one of those easter jesus movies and not really in the bible); i think the killing of the first born was the last of the 7? plagues used to try to make the romans bow to god (or whatever the point of the plagues were...been a while since I actually read the story).

[elliebean]

Egyptian, not Roman. Not that it matters in a fable.

[happynewyear]

I was invited to a passover celebration, last year. I decided to attend because of the novelty factor. There were around fifty people present most of whom I didn't know. What little I found out about it (there was not much opportunity for philosophical debate) was interesting.
I was told that it derived from the myth of the exodus. In the story the "angel of yahweh" passes over Egypt and kills the first born in each family. The Israelites are told to kill a spring lamb and paint their door with a mark in blood (from the ram). In this way the angel would pass over any doors with the mark and only take from families without the mark on the door. This was the last of ten plagues brought down on Egypt, by Yahweh in order to "persuade" pharoh to release the Israelites from captivity.
The ritual itself involves that reenactment of the story, with  the breaking and eating of unleaven bread (fairly unpalatable), the eating of bitter herbs and drinking wine (enjoyed this bit). It is supposed to be a family ritual with all members taking part.
The "Last Supper"of the Jesus story is a passover celebration meal.(with the family edited out)
The "Roman Catholic Mass" is also an edited form of the passover meal.
For me it was only a story so it didn't bother me in the slightest.

[AlP]

Alright, I'll go then! Thanks people Don't worry about me being militant. I'm usually pretty civil when I argue, especially IRL.

[theTwiz]

Even though you've already decided, I'm throwing in another vote for going.  Sounds like you won't be too militant about your atheism.  One trick I've found is simply saying, "I don't really believe in anything" in a non-threatening, kind of 'revealing' way.  I don't really know how to convey the tone, but I'd imagine it's the same as if you answered someone's question about which aisle the cheese is on.

Also, if it helps with one of your cons, one of my jewish friends' families treats the passover more about jewish people being spared, and less focus on the killing part.  they also don't think it literally happened, though.

have fun, and report back! i have a feeling im gonna get invited to one of these sooner or later :)

[G-Roll]

seeming everyone said go, im going to say DONT GO!! because fish and chicken liver sounds gross. thats the only real reason i have.

a diplomatic excuse.... your dvr is full and you cant miss this episode of your favorite tv show. you or your significant other is sick. you have an important early meeting in the morning you need to rest for. your dog died. your first born wasnt "passed over" and you are offended by the idea. you have a trip to haiti that day to save the children. you think the zombie invasion is this week and you have so much to do to get ready. you started to hear voices and or see dead people. you broke your toe and its a lot worse than it sounds. the man on television told you to stay tuned.  you did your own thing and now youve got to undo it. you are far too drunk to drive.
feel free to use any of these.

[AlP]

seeming everyone said go, im going to say DONT GO!! because fish and chicken liver sounds gross. thats the only real reason i have.

Well I'm still going. My roommate's Mom already told me that the traditional foods are not the main attraction. I mean unleavened bread, what? The three fish and chicken liver thing sounds like something that has to be tried only once.

a diplomatic excuse.... your dvr is full and you cant miss this episode of your favorite tv show. you or your significant other is sick. you have an important early meeting in the morning you need to rest for. your dog died. your first born wasnt "passed over" and you are offended by the idea. you have a trip to haiti that day to save the children. you think the zombie invasion is this week and you have so much to do to get ready. you started to hear voices and or see dead people. you broke your toe and its a lot worse than it sounds. the man on television told you to stay tuned.  you did your own thing and now youve got to undo it. you are far too drunk to drive.
feel free to use any of these.

I will adopt these excuses as life goals. Thankyou. Expect results on the passover thread! Can anyone lend me a dog? (it will die)

[Whitney]

(it will die)

What?

[AlP]

(it will die)

What?

In order to accomplish this excuse:

your dog died.

[G-Roll]

LOL!!

i feel as if ive done a good thing here.  

[AlP]

Passover report:

My roommate's family is not particularly religious but they take tradition seriously. They emphasized that it was about the 10 commandments rather than the 10 plagues. I don't know why. It seems to have more to do with the 10 plagues.

The first hour of the evening was reading stories from scripture, prayers and the occasional ritual (like tasting parsley dipped in salted water - it represents teardrops). I had already decided I would read scripture and take part in rituals but not say prayers. That's what I did and nobody seemed to mind. The stories were about the Israelites escaping from the Egyptians. The rituals symbolized parts of the story. The emphasis was on the freedom of the Israelites rather than the death of the Egyptian first born.

The food was awesome. Best macaroons I've ever had! And the 3 fish thing was really good as were the dumpling / chicken based soup, which are both apparently traditional on these occasions. I can't say I'm a fan of unleavened bread. The traditional bitter herbs (horseradish represented the suffering of the Israelites) went well with the fish.

It was very interesting. Good time overall.

If anyone has questions about my experience of passover with a liberal Jewish family, ask away.