Just joined, just left the faith

[Will]

The title says it all: I've just come to the very, very difficult decision that I am not part of the flock anymore. I was born into it, and for a time I was one of their champions, wearing their armor and spreading their words. I was, at the tender age of 9 years old, I was telling 'pegans' they were going to 'hell'  because I had the comfortable backing of some very smart adults and I had the faith burned into my mind. It wasn't until I saw that religion wasn't as altruistic as it had seemed when I was a young child that I even considered questioning anything. It wasn't until I heard of people losing their lives because of what people interpreted as signs from God that I raised an eyebrow. That was 10 years ago, at the age of 13. So I became inactive in the faith. I prayed before meals and went to church on Easter and Christmas and when my father, a Lutheran pastor, requsted I join him. I played the organ, lit the candles, but was really there for one reason: fear. My superego wanted out of the church, but my id was scared to death of a lake of fire. Every time another question entered my mind - why would God dangle a carrot like heaven in front of us if we need faith to get into heaven? - the question would come qwith a free side dish of fear. Little did I understand that I had been expertly programed by people who were not strong enough to question themselves with the key ingredient in any pro faith, anti-reason belief system: fear.

Now, at 23, I still do wrestle with that fear, though it has lost much of it's strength. I've done my homework and am satisfied that doubt is reasonable and alleigence is not. When radicals like the 700 Club's Pat Robertson say things like God spoke to him and told him that "mass killings" were to come during 2007, due to a terrorist attack on the United States, I can sleep soundly knowing that taking stock in his claims is as wise as listening to the rantings of someone with paranoid schizophrenia or some other delusional condition. I pity him for having completly lost his grip on realty, but moreso I pity those members of his flock that are going to live in an even deeper fear because of his madness.

Sorry for the ramble. I'm Will, and it's nice to meet everyone.

[Squid]

Hola Will.

[Kestrel]

Hi Will.
You present a perfectly reasonable stance.
Welcome.  

[joeactor]

Welcome Will - pleased to meet you.

Thanks for the great intro.  Sounds familiar...

[McQ]

Hey, man, welcome to the black sheep of the flock! Thanks for the introduction. It's a shame and too familiar.

[ryanvc76]

Welcome - great intro!  I also stepped out of the "religious closet" when I was in my early twenties.

[Will]

Thanks for the responses, guys. It's good to be here.

[Whitney]

Welcome to the forum, Will.

[ImpaledSkier]

Word, man. I was never in the flock, but growing up in a small midwest town that prides itself on the highest church to population ratio east of the mississippi I think I can understand your position.

[fishkitten]

Hi, wow, that's a really interesting disposition.  This is only my second post, but after reading some of the other peoples' posts and signatures, I find myself among a good crowd of people.  I was also very very happy to see a James Taylor quote followed shortly after by a quote from The Spill Canvas.  I'll be looking forward to the discussions here.  Smiley-faces all.