It's like cancer

[cookie]

It's not agnosticism, more like brainwashing. I know that there is no god, no satan, no heaven nor hell, but it is burned into my head that anything christian is good, and anything else is bad, and that anything good is christian, and anything bad is not. It's fear of myself over fear of hell, of my own brain having preconceived ideas about what I think, that I have no control over, and I had no choice in. If someone else can control what I think, how can I help myself? Everyone in school tells me that I am evil, they look at me like I'm stupid, and damned. They pity me for something they have deluded themselves into thinking is going to happen to me, and try to change me because the feel sorry for me, and they think that it will help them get into heaven. Telling them to leave me alone won't do anything, because they think that it is their duty to help me, and they might go to hell if they don't. All of this only because they were born to parents who wanted to bring them up the "Christian" way, the "good", "loving" way, and told them that anyone who didn't believe like they did were evil, terrible, and were going to hell. There is no hell. But that doesn't stop me thinking automatically that atheism is heinous, even though I have considered myself an atheist ever since I was seven. But I can't change the fear that was instilled into me when I was unable to think for myself, the fear that followed me everywhere I went from the time I was born into a catholic family, from the time that I was brainwashed in a private christian pre-school, brought to church every Sunday, taught that anyone who didn't was evil and going to hell. Then I asked my mom if Santa was real. She said no. "Is the easter bunny real?" "No." "Is God real?" "Of course!" She didn't understand how god could be included with the imaginary idols of childhood. For her, the fear was always real. And she is afraid that I will go to hell. She continues to try to teach me the "good" way, and is very upset when I don't take to it. She'll cry real tears because she thinks I'm going to go to an imaginary hell, and I can't do anything to stop her, because I know that it is not real. And because my first instinct is to be scared for myself too. And I have no control over it. My own brain. The very thing that made it clear to me that religion was just a nice idea torments me for believing that there is no heaven nor hell. And I can't stop it.

Sorry if I'm ranting, it's just that it's a very scary ordeal for me, and I have to go through it every day.

[Ylanne Sorrows]

I feel very sorry for religious folks who are so brainwashed with this fear... they don't even realize it's fear that keeps them believing.

Yes, the non-believing world isn't as rosy as their believing world... but I'll take the facts over their "truth" any day and 10 times on Sunday.

As a very religious person, I'd like to point out that I do not live in fear. I do not fear going to hell, nor do I condemn anyone else to that. My believing world is not 'rosy' at all. It has as much pain and as much hope in it as does the non-believing world. Have I gone through tragic, painful, depressing, and angering experiences? Too many times to count.

Here is a fact that I'm sure everyone can agree on: We have absolute control over our own thoughts, beliefs, and actions. By this definition, we have absolutely NO control over the thoughts, beliefs, and actions of others. We can influence them, and try to persuade someone of something, or brainwash them (yes I agree that many people are brainwashed, including many religious); BUT if someone has decided to firmly believe something (whether it is the existence of God or the NONexistence of God), then NOTHING anyone says will EVER convince them otherwise.

Most of my friends (in real life) are atheists. Does it make me like or trust them any more or less than those who 'share' my 'faith'? Nope. I seek not to judge or condemn anyone, and least of all to make anyone fearful. There are those who do live only to instill fear in others, but for me, it's inconsistent with my personal philosophies. For now, I'm content with my life and the path I have chosen. I am not fearful. I am not perfect. Sometimes I find myself judging people, but I try my hardest not to. I try my best to love everyone around me in equal amounts without inhibition or condition. I always prepare for the worst in people, events, and the future in general; but I hope for the best at all times. Sometimes I'm disappointed--okay, that's an understatement. I'm disappointed a lot, and most of the time, in myself.

But hope, in my humble opinion, is a necessity--whether you believe in a god or not. Throughout the ages, hope has kept humanity going strong--it has fostered knowledge and the pursuit of more knowledge and scientific discovery, it has opened our minds to understanding, our hearts to love kindness and mercy, and our souls to search for spiritual meaning, whether we find it or not. Even in our darkest times, when we killed many of our own, often in the name of God, citing a holy cause for war; even when we felt we had nowhere left to go, hope guided us through.

May I leave you with this thought only: that we are all inherently flawed, and especially many of our religious. I just hope I can make a positive difference in one person's life during my journey, and then will I be satisfied.

[curiosityandthecat]

Holy avatar, Batman!

But hope, in my humble opinion, is a necessity--whether you believe in a god or not.

Don't forget... there's a reason hope was in Pandora's box: it's dangerous.

[Ylanne Sorrows]

I know that there is no god, no satan, no heaven nor hell, but it is burned into my head that anything christian is good, and anything else is bad, and that anything good is christian, and anything bad is not.

As a Christian, I do not share the belief that anything Christian is good, and anything not is bad. I just don't. Let me copy and paste a message I left in another forum (addressing Christians of various degrees of piety, judgmentality, and 'brainwashing'; as well as a few non-Christians):

Often, detractors of Christianity and other organized religions cite the arrogance of a follower claiming that their faith, and that faith alone, is "the one true faith", and that those who are not adherents are destined to damnation in hell.

And it is true, that the vast majority of Christians, Jews, and Muslims will say that their religion is the only right one. And each is able to cite multiple reasons why this is so; at the same time, detractors of faith are able to cite multiple reasons why this cannot be, as well as come up with long lists of 'contradictions' in the holy books of these faiths.

I am a Christian in the true sense of the word, which derives from the Greek christos for Hebrew messiakh, meaning 'an annointed messenger of God'. Christian, therefore, means 'a follower of Christ'. By saying this, I do not mean to say that others who call themselves "Christian" are not, or are not 'true Christians'. I simply mean to say that by calling myself a Christian, I am doing so based on the meaning of the word as defined by its etymology.

I am a fundamentalist. Now, before you begin to jump to conclusions, make assumptions, or otherwise make unfair or media-based associations, please hear me out. What I mean by this, calling myself a fundamentalist, is that I seek out the fundamentals, or foundations, or inherent and basic teachings of my faith, which, as I stated earlier, is Christianity.

Before I continue, let me make absolutely clear that I do not consider myself somehow privileged, above others, or better than others. I do not think that I am superior in any way, or that I am somehow 'special'. I only say this because in the past, I have been accused in RL of many of these things, mostly because of my beliefs.

Continuing with the prior paragraph... Throughout history, new faiths, or religions, or churches, have been established, including in recent years (although such groups established today are more often than not labeled 'cults'). Many such faiths were founded by a man (or woman) who claimed to be a messenger or prophet of a God, or otherwise enlightened. And much of what we consider to be part of a religion, or criterion for being an adherent to a religion, is ceremony and ritual, habit and dress code, all of which were not necessarily in the original 'prophet's' teachings, but which culture and history wrote into the religion.

Did you know that the religion of Islam teaches that God sent a messenger or prophet to virtually every people group on the face of Earth? They were sent to teach the same Message to different peoples in different ways. I believe this is true, and that the Message has become somewhat distorted, unclear in the past few centuries. That this is the reason for the many world religions today (excluding newer faith groups).

I seek to find the core truths and values in what we in America generalize as the "Christian religion", which, by the way, is split into over 36,000 sects or denominations (which again are subject to what exactly the definition of what constitutes a Christian denomination). These truths can be found in the Bible (or so I believe) and in the teachings of the Christ, Yahshua (which is Jesus' actual name in Hebrew, usually written Joshua in English).

Likewise, in accordance with my belief that the Message of God exists in the fundamentals of all major or previously established religion, I have sought out these truths and continue to study comparative religion and the holy books of 'other religions'. For instance, to be a Christian is to be a follower of Christ, which means to follow His teachings and integrate them into our way of life: peacemaking, mercy, compassion, and love for others, especially the Lost. To be a Muslim, as the Arabic word means, is to be a Submitter: to submit to the Will of God and defer to Him in all matters, as we are His creation and His servants.

However, over time, we, humanity, have changed or somehow altered the Message God sent us. We added cultural and historical subjectivity and practices to our 'faiths' and sometimes lost the way. Even today I believe we can and often do misinterpret the Message--which is so simple! Islamic terrorists who claim to be true Muslims are not followers of their faith--which teaches submission to God's will--and how can God will millions of people to die in His name, when in reality, He would have us all in Heaven with Him?

I believe the Bible's Message is true and infallible. But I also believe that we, you and I and our neighbor, are perfectly capable of misinterpreting that Message.

My point is, I don't believe everything "Christian" is necessarily good---take the Crusades for example. Well, yes, I am a pacifist, but that's besides the point. Killing people in the name of God is no different than killing people because you like to. And likewise, that anything non-Christian is bad, I do not believe either as evidenced by my statements above. If you want to follow the rest of that post, it's available at the following link, but like this forum, you need to register. (It was actually a reply to my topic above that linked to this page). http://www.getphpbb.com/phpbb/viewtopic ... rum=theway is the link. If you can't get there from the link, go tp http://freewebs.com/swctheway and scroll down and click the link that says "Follow the Way" which goes to the forum--which you have to register, I guess.

Anyhoo....... In general, I try not to "preach" what I believe, or to shove my beliefs at ANYONE, but like I said earlier, the above text was posted in a forum consisting mainly of Christians, just like this forum consists mainly of Atheists, both labels being self-identified of course. So a lot of it assumes certain beliefs, because of the audience to whom it was directed.

If anyone is interested in just sharing their thoughts with me, I'm very open-minded and will NEVER, EVER assume you are wrong or evil or bad or [insert synonym here] or EVER EVER try to preach to you in ANY way. I love to hear your thoughts and have often been told by RL friends that I would make a great therapist or counselor.

I also enjoy mutually respectful debate on virtually any topic. I'm willing to admit I might be wrong about pretty much everything I believe, and you might be surprised at some of my arguments for my beliefs (related to controvesial issues such as abortion, gun control, etc.). If you're ever interested in dropping me a line about anything, I check my email every day. natalieschultz@mail.com .

I hope it's comforting to know not every "Christian" (using that term VERY loosely) out there is highly judgmental, preachy, and thinking in black and white. I know there's lots of them and know many personally. But like I said in the topic above this one ^^ all the way up, all I want to leave you with is a Message of Hope--one that can be given and received with or without belief in God...

there's a reason hope was in Pandora's box: it's dangerous.

Isn't anything? Whether used for good or ill (generally with brainwashing), anything and everything can be dangerous. Many of my beliefs are dangerous in such a way that many "Christians" tell me I should "go to hell". So do many non-Christians, except for the "hell" part, of course. But it doesn't stop me from believing them. Standing up for your rights, for the rights of those oppressed, is it not dangerous? But it is right. The narrow path is full of pebbles to stumble over, thorns to stab yourself on, and brambles to confuse you--it is a dangerous path to walk. And I am not, by the way, referring to Christianity.

[Tom62]

Cool posts Ylanne! Most Christians that I know are very decent people. The only difference is that they believe in a supernatural being and I don't. I don't  however respect organized religion, that poses morals on us that either cannot be found in the Bible, are harmful, plain stupid or are hopelessly outdated; and act accordingly. My wife for example still believes in a god, but left the catholic church because the church made it clear that she and her girl's choir were not welcome to sing for the Pope while he was visiting Bavaria, because that old creep preferred boys. This is a rather harmless example or how religion disrespects women. History showed us far worse examples how of people can do extremely evil things in the name of their Gods. Now the catholic church is an old relic from the past that should have died centuries ago due to the evil deeds they'd done (crusades, witch and heretic burnings, inquisition, forbidding the use of condoms, etc.), but more modern Christian sects are even worse, especially those that are coming from the other side of the ocean. All you hear from them is hate this, hate that, burn those fags, kill those abortionists, give me all your money, thou shall no do this and thou shall not do that, repent, repent and repent. This is what I consider sick and extremely dangerous. People who manage to get rid of that cancer have therefore my full respect. I don't care whether people believe in a God, in Zeus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster as long as they don't  haress me with their believes, take my freedom away or think that they are better than anyone else because of their believes. I'm looking forward to the day that religion would start listen to their moderate followers, get rid of all that stupid and outdated dogma's, stop messing around with people's lives, respect the [non] believes of other people and finally preach a message of love instead of hate.

[Ylanne Sorrows]

I don't care whether people believe in a God, in Zeus or the Flying Spaghetti Monster as long as they don't haress me with their believes, take my freedom away or think that they are better than anyone else because of their believes. I'm looking forward to the day that religion would start listen to their moderate followers, get rid of all that stupid and outdated dogma's, stop messing around with people's lives, respect the [non] believes of other people and finally preach a message of love instead of hate.

I am highly religious, highly intellectual, and I hate the word moderate. I am not to the far right or to the far left, so don't get me wrong here. But my religion is not merely what I believe, it is my way of life, and unlike many self-identified Christians, I'm pretty sure that I'm going through my life loving people and advocating for the helpless and oppressed. I hate no one. I respect everyone and everyone's beliefs, especially the beliefs of those who disgree with me, who, not surprisingly, includes people who attend the same church as me.

It is true that today you often hear from the religious to kill these people, especially those who disagree with them. But I sincerely hope I'm not like that, because I believe the practice of discriminiation or persecution for lack of religious beliefs or different ones is totally and completely wrong. Every group has its faults and false (or even harmful) beliefs. But to judge every member of a group is the same as having Christians pass judgment on every non-Christian, abortionist, gay, etc.

I hate being judged. What I hate even more is judging others. The practice is wrong. All the time, hearing Christians do it, I do this:  :brick:   It is a disgrace on humanity.

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum, Ylanne. Your posts are are refreshingly nice read.    I appreciate the outlook of respect you have for others, especially those who don't share the same beliefs.

[karakara]

Sat Sri Akal, Friend:

As a former atheist of more than 20 years, now very devout person (Sikh) http://www.sikhnet.com/pages/introduction-sikhism , I think what you need is to expand your perspective on spirituality. You see, you've lived your life within the confines one faith -- and a perversion of it , at that. Yes, many (not all!) manifestations of Christianity .. hey, over 20,000 sects.. are perversions. ANYTHING fear-based can not possibly be of God.

Just as we've reached a crisis point on our planet re: environmental, pollution, and energy needs, and the way out is NOT to become Luddites, but to embrace technology as the solution for getting us out of this mess... so too must your expand your understanding, conceptions of, and perspectives of religion and spirituality to set your mind free of the broken record that seems to be playing in your head and gnawing at your soul. The best way to both gain and understand spirituality is to both study comparative religion and to engage the spiritual community.. find your niche, awaken your spirit, fulfill your destiny. This is what I did.. now, I'm 100% stronger than I was as an atheist.. I have strength and purpose that I could never have imagined in my dark years 'in the wilderness'. I am literally fearless.  But I digress --

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."   <<or in your secular rationality, for my atheist friends ;-)

Yes, Hamlet was correct, and this goes to Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist..  seek out the teachings of the sages, gurus, speak with those who are adherents of various faiths, study, go to YouTube if you're lazy and watch endless videos on spirituality and faith.. you WILL find a path that calls to you, and fills you with positive energy, love, strength, compassion... I've seen it a thousand times.

But -- time is short, and all of these exercises are useless unless you can decide on a course of action, and then follow through with conviction and determination. As Gandalf said to Frodo:

"All you have to do is to decide what to do with the time given to you.""

Yes, decide, then do. Don't wallow in indecisiveness  -- again, a great example and a great quote, this time from Master Yoda:

"Do or do not: There is no 'try'!

Yoda also had some wise words regarding your 'fear":

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Oh, lest you think you can dismiss the wisdom contained in these latter quotes, where do you think Tolkien and Lucas got them.. timeless wisdom, uttered by a thousand gurus in a thousand places.

Fateh!

[curiosityandthecat]

Yes, Hamlet was correct, and this goes to Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist.. seek out the teachings of the sages, gurus, speak with those who are adherents of various faiths, study, go to YouTube if you're lazy and watch endless videos on spirituality and faith.. you WILL find a path that calls to you, and fills you with positive energy, love, strength, compassion... I've seen it a thousand times.

Karakara, you seem to be projecting your own experience onto those of us with no feeling of emptiness or desire to seek a "higher" path. I'm sorry that your experience as an atheist was not fulfilling, but it's by no means universal. For many of us, the path of nonspirituality IS the path that calls us and fills us with positive energy, strength, and compassion.

Thank you for sharing, but don't fool yourself into believing we need saved.

[karakara]

Friend,

Well.. this is the 'Religion' section, dealing with religious issues.. the nature of the problem of the poster was one of guilt and other issue born of a bad experience both within and external of his faith...

Before accusing me of 'projecting'.. implying some Freudian Defense Mechanism to my desire to help.., pls. consider that my motive is closer to that of a physician, assessing symptoms, diagnosing, and prescribing medicine.  Your 'medicine' seems to be ... no medicine.  You fail to acknowledge that the continuing turmoil in this person is manifestation of latent spiritual yearning not only unfulfilled, but poisoned and confused.

What I find absolutely amazing is this notion of yours that you see a 'path' in nonspirituality -- I didn't say 'religion', but who's the Luddite here? You, sir, are advocating self-imposed lobotomy on the spiritual aspect of not only your own life, which you are free to do, but to advise and speak for others, this is quite damaging. What you are advocating flies against all wisdom teachings of the entire history of human experience. The way to be happy and fulfilled is to -- embrace non-spirituality? You are either a teenager, or a fool. Harmless fool if you keep this to your self (you'll only be harming yourself) but dangerous fool if you influence others  to believe such nonsense.  Who do you think you are deluding with this assertion ?

For many of us, the path of nonspirituality IS the path that calls us and fills us with positive energy, strength, and compassion.

You may say, who am I to judge, but who do I have to be? This is pure nonsense.  The human being needs balance in all aspects of life, and although I totally support rationality, science, facts, logic, etc., there is and has always existed a spiritual aspect of our nature. If you try to deny this, or worse, propogate the notion that you can build anything... one life, family, community, society.. purely on secular logic and pragmatism, then whatever you are attempting to build will fail without acknowledging and embracing the spiritual as well.

There is no 'nonspiritual path', just delusion and confusion. Many who read this will intuitively know that I am right.

My advice had nothing to do with 'saving souls', that's an Abrahamic concept which with, as a Sikh (we do not believe that Man is 'fallen' , just the opposite.. that we all possess a spark of Divinity inside us.. that God lives and breaths in each soul) . One of the problems that I continually run into with Atheists is that they are Atheist in mind and heart precisely because of their total rejection of the teachings, history, etc., of Abrahamic faiths...  back to my Hamlet quote: there is much, much more to spirituality and God than what you are presented with in the Abrahamic tradtions. Almost every argument I hear against religion is based on dissatisfaction with one or more of the Abrahamic faiths.. so pls. don't bring your theological baggage (i.e. accusing me of trying to 'save' someone), but try to see what I'm saying from a larger perspective.. yes, I know you can fire back that I should do the same, but I've been there, done that. I actually love Carl Sagan, Bertrand Russell, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins.. Sagan more that the others, I admit, but I know the arguments. You (not simply you personally, 'curiosityandthecat') do not know mine because you have not had the experience of knowing God.. yet.

I'll finish with a short passage .. found on many atheist and humanist websites.. and a quote form a famous Atheist, it might give just a bit of credibility to my Sikh perspective:
http://www.humanists.net/alisina/sikhism.htm

Bertrand Russell

This is the man who destroyed Christianity (same applies to Islam and Judaism) and exposed its absurdities; but even this great man got stuck when it came to Sikhism! In fact he gave up and said "that if some lucky men survive the onslaught of the third world war of atomic and hydrogen bombs, then the Sikh religion will be the only means of guiding them." Russell was asked that he was talking about the third world war, but isn't this religion capable of guiding mankind before the third world war? In reply, Russell said, "Yes, it has the capability, but the Sikhs have not brought out in the broad daylight, the splendid doctrines of this religion which has come into existence for the benefit of the entire mankind. This is their greatest sin and the Sikhs cannot be freed of it.

[Jolly Sapper]

Wow, way to lambaste Curiosityandthecat for doing exactly the same thing you just did.  

Brilliant, BRILLIANT I tell ya'!

The problem with spirituality is that its just as meaningless to Curio as non-spirituality is to you.

Spirituality is not something that can be seen or felt or otherwise communicated directly to another.  Expecting another to believe in spirituality as a "path" first requires that they already are open to the idea (unless they have already tried and decided against it.)  I think the point of Curio's support of a "non-spiritual path" can be summed up in a colorful example I just thought of right this second.

Think of spirituality as a pair of underwear, it is something that you would wear every day, as close to you as it can possibly be.  This is something that has become such a part of your life that you don't even consider starting your day without wearing your underwear.  The underwear fit so well that you never question the need or desire to keep wearing your underwear either.

Now for you, Karakara, the underwear is a perfect fit. Your underwear is the right size, color, fabric, it doesn't bunch or ride or cause any chaffing so it would follow that you'd be hard pressed to find a reason to not wear your underwear.

There are those, however, who find that the underwear is not the right size.  The underwear is uncomfortable, its painful, and it rubs the skin raw.  These people find themselves questioning the underwear.  Some will go out and find different kinds of underwear, different sizes, cuts, styles, fabrics and eventually find one that is a perfect fit.  It will fit so well that it not longer causes pain or discomfort or a need to question the wearing of the underwear.

Still there are others that have tried all the different kinds of underwear that they could find and still cannot find the perfect one.  This leads to at least three choices by my estimation:

1. Keep trying different types of underwear in the hopes that one day you will find that perfect fit.

2. Give up looking and just make do with the underwear that is the least painful, uncomfortable, least likely to rub your skin raw of all that have been tried.

3. Deciding that the wearing of underwear is just something that isn't necessary, stop worrying about trying to find the perfect underwear, and live life as best  as possible.

So if trying to follow a spiritual path is causing problems that cannot be resolved, maybe the spiritual path is not a path that one needs to walk.

[rlrose328]

Wow, way to lambaste Curiosityandthecat for doing exactly the same thing you just did.  

Hear hear!   :hail:

[Jolly Sapper]

JOlly, you are one saavy creature... this is brilliant!  May I blog it??  

[karakara]

First, I do recall that the purpose of this thread is to address the post by an  individual who goes by the handle of 'laetusheos' of an article by an obviously distressed individual who has had a world of guilt and fear programmed into him by so called 'Christians'..  I offered the advice that I would give this individual..  

I know that the purpose of the posting was to stimulate discussion, but for the person who cathartically wrote the letter, the pain was personal and real.  Again, I didn't come to this forum to argue with Atheists, having formerly been one myself for many years.. as I have stated. 5 years ago, I was you.. literally, baiting and sparring with 'religious' people online.. and patting myself on the back when I thought I had bested one, and basking in the glow of my admiring fellow Atheists/Agnostics/Secularists.. after all, it was we 'rational' people against those brainwashed zealots.. I could tear down any argument with logic and reason, and send the 'spiritual' people packing.. unable to challenge me on my field of battle and on my terms.  I could spin clever analogies on the fly , as you do Jolly Sapper... but to what end?  I do give you credit in that you recognize that some people just talk past each other.. true.  So pat yourself on the back, clever wordsmith, you have at least one groupie in  rlrose323 ... congratuations.

I see I'm wasting my time and breath in this forum.. I don't know what I was thinking, I know what the game is here. I'll sign off and close my account, and leave you with a victory, if you can call it that.  You and I would talk past each other as well, because again, 5 years ago I was you.. I know you well.

I hope Ian D. finds some answers and some peace.

KaraKara

[Jolly Sapper]

Wow... that was unexpected.

Regarding this post... http://happyatheistforum.com/posting.php?mode=reply&f=2&t=235#pr24238

My complaint is that you stopped talking about the person referenced in the original post.  You were talking directly to Curio, and your opinion is that anybody who isn't as satisfied with attempting to follow a spiritual path as you are is deficient as a being.  

My underwear post was an attempt to create a situation, lacking the weighted terms thrown around when talking about spirituality and religion, describing various ways that people respond to trying to "fit" or find a "fit" into something.

Some people have no problem finding something to fit into, others find that they already fit into something, others find that they don't really fit but make do (also known as a fake fit).  This leaves one last response from those who've decided that they cannot find anything that fits and won't settle for something that fits poorly, the response of just not trying to fit at all.  

I was trying to stress the point that if trying to do something is causing you pain and stress, there comes a time that you may find yourself contemplating removing the cause of the discomfort.  In this case, it would be to stop continuing attempts to fit because they aren't successful.  There shouldn't be condemnation to those who've tried to fit, found that they couldn't, and decided to stop trying to force themselves to fit.  

The emotion stress that IanD writes about is what happens when you keep trying to fit into something that you just can't fit into.  Now not only does IanD have to face the internal emotional stress from having spent time "forcing a fit," there is the emotional stress caused by those who would condemn him for having decided that he should stop trying to "force a fit" into something that wasn't working.  Karakara, some of the words in the post linked to above seem to have you in the siding with same camp as those who would condemn somebody because they don't want to have to lie to themselves just to fit.

This seems to go against the idea that we, as beings, should have some say in deciding what we believe and how we believe it.  Would it not be better to honestly believe something that you practice, or claim to believe?  Is it not a lie to say you believe in the tenets of a religion or belief system when you don't really believe?  

You've mentioned, repeatedly, that you were once an atheist.  Now you are a sikh.  There came a time when you realized that you needed to fit into something that your belief in atheism didn't give you.  You would have been lying to yourself if you continued to be an atheist, so you made a choice to give up something that didn't fit for something that does, right?  This was the right decision for you.  

I don't feel that making this decision for yourself means you are a lesser being.  You are not deficient, or lacking, or weak.  You just found that the path you were on wasn't working for you and decided to take another way.  I'd imagine that this situation is similar to what IanD was talking about in the original post.