Cursed to think - and introduction and hello

[JRF2k]

Hello all.

I found your site via http://www.atheistthinktank.net/. I am one of those guys that was raised in Christianity. Dad was a preacher, mom was active in the church when she was younger. I am very familiar with the Bible and what's contained therein. My whole apostasy happened last year around Christmas time, yeah I know what a great time to lose your religion.    Anyway, I guess it had been coming for quite a long time because I had began to question my faith several years before I finally decided that it was not true.

I started out thinking that people had just got the message wrong. That over 2000+ years that it had been told and retold until the message got lost. It was my apology, but then I began to think and that's what threw everything in turmoil. It began innocently enough on YouTube. I was looking at videos and whatnot when I came across a Deist by the name of John Armstrong. I watch his videos thinking he was crazy. The Bible contained no inconsistencies. It was the unchanging word of God. But as I watched more of him I started to research what he said and delve deeper and he slowly won me over I suppose. Then I started looking for more. It avalanched me. My whole belief structure came crumbling down. It left me angry and depressed. So I tried to rebel against it, but I couldn't I was drawn back again and again. I had opened a Pandora's Box and the truth just gushed forth.

So, I am not sure now what to believe. I don't think Christianity is it. I don't think any religion is worth it anymore. They all seem bent on money and power and making everyone else feel like crap in order to get it.

I've given up many notions concerning God, Devil, and the afterlife and that has left me a little sad, yet I am vexed with questions about life and living and being a conscious entity in this universe. I want to ask "WHY?" but not every question we ask deserves to be answered I supposed. It seems quite wasteful to live and acquire knowledge and experience through consciousness just to have it all go to oblivion in the end.

I am not sure what to label myself. Do I think a god is possible? Maybe, yet evidence points to no. I want to stay open-minded about it. I guess I am comfortable in saying that there could be some higher power but until he/she/it makes itself more pronounced I see no need in wasting a lot of time and effort with it. I know that's neither the definition of Agnostic or Atheist, deist perhaps?

Anyway, I've been at your site now for a week and have been trolling around for the most part but I really like the posts that have been posted here, so I decided to sign up. I look forward to many enlightening conversations!

[curiosityandthecat]

Thinking's not for everyone, JRF2k.   Congratulations on joining the crowd who gets off on it.

As for what to call yourself, I think "human" is a good choice.

Welcome to the forum.

[JRF2k]

As for what to call yourself, I think "human" is a good choice.

That appears to be a derogatory term to some.

Welcome to the forum.

Thank you!

[Jolly Sapper]

Welcome to the heathen cave, sit down, kick back and share your brain meats with group.  

So, I am not sure now what to believe.

Don't worry, just keep your eyes open and take in the world around you.  You'll figure out what works for you, give it time.

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum, jrf2k. Sounds like you're a Rationalist to me. Don't worry too much about terminology. We're glad you found us, and thanks for that nice introduction!