Hi, I'm a newish atheist

[PantsNotTrousers]

Hi,
Half my family is from the UK the other half is from the US and I live in America, so I say pants, more than I say trousers.

A bit about me:
I was raised evangelical
I left the faith when I was 28ish, I'm 35 now.
I still feel new to this which is weird because it's been like 6 years since I was a Christian.
But idk, I'm struggling a bit.
I had all the answers and I was sure of the fact there was an afterlife and what that afterlife looked like.
Now I don't have answers for anything.
Also, do I have to have a "purpose"? If so, how do I pick one?

I just wanted to know that there were happy, fulfilled, atheists out there and that it's possible for me too so that's why I'm here. 🙂

[Dark Lightning]

Welcome! Choose your purpose, as opposed to letting someone else choose. I'm quite satisfied with my life as an atheist, after admitting it to myself 18 years ago.

[hermes2015]

Welcome from a lifelong atheist (since around 12, so more than 60 years) to our motley family of atheists. Yes, it is possible to be happy, as I believe most of us are who belong to this forum.

[Recusant]

Hi,
Half my family is from the UK the other half is from the US and I live in America, so I say pants, more than I say trousers.

A bit about me:
I was raised evangelical
I left the faith when I was 28ish, I'm 35 now.
I still feel new to this which is weird because it's been like 6 years since I was a Christian.
But idk, I'm struggling a bit.
I had all the answers and I was sure of the fact there was an afterlife and what that afterlife looked like.
Now I don't have answers for anything.
Also, do I have to have a "purpose"? If so, how do I pick one?

I just wanted to know that there were happy, fulfilled, atheists out there and that it's possible for me too so that's why I'm here. 🙂

Hello and welcome to HAF, PantsNotTrousers. I'd say you have answers for plenty of things, though not all. Which is actually just fine. It's a question of whether you prefer to believe that you have answers for things that none of us actually have definitive, verifiable answers for. Sometimes the questions don't even make sense yet people claim to have answers for them. Mythology can be comforting but once you acknowledge its true nature you can face (and maybe embrace) the universe as it shows itself to us rather than as some ancient visionaries imagined it to be.

I hope you enjoy your time reading and posting here.   

[Tank]

Hi,
Half my family is from the UK the other half is from the US and I live in America, so I say pants, more than I say trousers.

A bit about me:
I was raised evangelical
I left the faith when I was 28ish, I'm 35 now.
I still feel new to this which is weird because it's been like 6 years since I was a Christian.
But idk, I'm struggling a bit.
I had all the answers and I was sure of the fact there was an afterlife and what that afterlife looked like.
Now I don't have answers for anything.
Also, do I have to have a "purpose"? If so, how do I pick one?

I just wanted to know that there were happy, fulfilled, atheists out there and that it's possible for me too so that's why I'm here. 🙂

Good morning to you. Ironically on a Sunday.

You have been a believer 28/35th's of your life. Approximately 3/4 of your life. It's not surprising you're having problems with a massive change in your understanding of reality.

I never believed. I was brought up by a devout, although not evangelical, mum and an atheist dad, although I never recall him using the terms. I got taken to church but all I could smell was bullshit. I got taken to Sunday school once and the teacher told my mum not to bring me again as I was 'One of those kids who asked awkward questions.' My mum was mortified, my dad thought ir was very funny. So where does this lead?

You said
"Now I don't have answers for anything.
Also, do I have to have a "purpose"? If so, how do I pick one?"

Well while you did have answers they weren't real. You know that now. To have a good answer you must start with a good question. What are your questions?

The 'purpose' question vexes many people, not just believers. Your purpose is what you choose it to be. There is nobody looking over your shoulder with a note book. So the first thing to do is accept is you can't be perfect, no such person exists. You will fuck up of that there is no doubt, everybody does (although I expect Asmo will disagree with this). One way to look at the purpose issue, but not the only one, is to consider what your purpose is once a god is introduced into the equations. Two things happen. One you become the pet, puppet and plaything of a tyrannical zookeeper. Two you are set up to fail catastrophically because Christianity is based on selling you the answer to that failure. You don't need godlike 'Purpose' you need human size purpose in your life. Maslows hierarchy of needs is a simple and very basic way to start. Get the survival basics sorted and then do what you enjoy that does no harm. You don't have to change the world to have a purpose. You don't actually need a purpose at all really.

Just keep asking questions.

Welcome to HAF, thank you for joining in.

Regards
Chris

[billy rubin]

You don't actually need a purpose at all really.

yes. the idea of purpose is a strange one. it only makes sense if one assumes a world view in which exists a structured universe of some sort .

i do lots of things with particular goals in mind, but i struggle to identify my existence having a purpose.

i wouldnt worry much if one doesnt come to mind.

[Tank]

You don't actually need a purpose at all really.

yes. the idea of purpose is a strange one. it only makes sense if one assumes a world view in which exists a structured universe of some sort .

i do lots of things with particular goals in mind, but i struggle to identify my existence having a purpose.

i wouldnt worry much if one doesnt come to mind.

Exactly

[PantsNotTrousers]

Thanks everyone. It's just hard. What if this life is all there is? I think a lot of people would say, "that's fine, just make it a good life," but I don't know if I can get there. When I think of there being an end I just want to curl up in bed and watch TV. I can't deal with it. Everything feels pointless and dark. 

I guess I can try to choose to believe in an afterlife, after all, no one can prove whether one exists or not.

It's just I never had to think for myself before. And trying to believe the "right" things didn't make sense to me. But now there's nothing.

Yes, I'm depressed, but if I'm honest the depression predates the atheism. I have one of those "special" brains, I guess.

[Tank]

The fact is the religions raise expectations. You have been psychologically abused by your upbringing. I've never been religious but some here have and they could well be offer a way out or insight.

[billy rubin]

there is no purpose in my life, and nothing to expect beyond death.

but in the meantime im heading to town for some metric bolts for a transmission pan, and ill have lunch with my wife while we re there.

so life is good, and after im dead nothing will worry me at all.

[PantsNotTrousers]

Welcome from a lifelong atheist (since around 12, so more than 60 years) to our motley family of atheists. Yes, it is possible to be happy, as I believe most of us are who belong to this forum.

thanks! Theres comfort inn hearing that for sure.

[Asmodean]

The Asmo. Pleasantries.

Much like Tank and Hermes, I'm a never-Theist. I was not properly introduced to the concept of religion until the age of about double-digits, by which point my tendency to just believe the crap adults said was waning rapidly. Oh, there were people who said; "just you wait 'till you're older. Then you'll believe," but... Pushing 40, and still no God-shape hole to fill.

While I can be abrasive and dismissive of feelings, that's not from the lack of self-contentment which I suppose some people would refer to as "happiness." I don't think it's a valid purpose in life to always feel good. After all, without some struggle and heart break and running head on into a stormwind, what reference would you have to appreciate that, which you have and have acheived?

I don't need the divine to be happy or to provide me comfort and assurance. I embrace the unknown, the tempestuous and volatile, the roller coaster that is life, on the tops of which I can anticipate the thrill of the ride and in the valleys, I can work towards the next ride. And the next. Until I am no more.

Waxing poetic about my favourite subject aside, welcome to the forum! I think the diverse approaches and perspectives we provide may prove useful.

[Bluenose]

Hi,
Half my family is from the UK the other half is from the US and I live in America, so I say pants, more than I say trousers.

A bit about me:
I was raised evangelical
I left the faith when I was 28ish, I'm 35 now.
I still feel new to this which is weird because it's been like 6 years since I was a Christian.
But idk, I'm struggling a bit.
I had all the answers and I was sure of the fact there was an afterlife and what that afterlife looked like.
Now I don't have answers for anything.
Also, do I have to have a "purpose"? If so, how do I pick one?

I just wanted to know that there were happy, fulfilled, atheists out there and that it's possible for me too so that's why I'm here. 🙂

Hi PNT, I'm from the Land Downunder AKA Fourecks (assuming you're a Terry Pratchett fan, you'll get this.  If you're not a Terry Pratchett fan, why aren't you - get with the strength and go and read some Discworld books ASAP!)  Anyway, as I was saying, I'm from Oz, so I say pants way more than I say trousers, as well.

I was raised catholic, went to catholic schools, was confirmed, the whole kit and caboodle.  Then at 14, sitting up a jacaranda tree at my grandparents' house, one day thinking on Life The Universe and Everything (yes, I am a Douglas Adams fan too) I suddenly realised that I just didn't buy any of it.  What had been taught to me as the most fundamental tenet of xtianity, the crucifixion and resurrection of JC, could be just as easily explained in several other ways without resorting to supernatural actions.  For example, JC had just been killed, which left the apostles in a bit of a quandary because they had been on the gravy train until then.  So they did what people do all the time when their livelihood is threatened, they lied.  They made up the story that he had come back to life and appearing only to them, had finally been sucked up into heaven.  Or alternatively, and perhaps even more likely JC never existed, and he was an invention of the early church: a rehash of other, older, myths with a bit of tweaking to suit the political climate of the time.  As for the other miracles, either they never actually happened or they were simply magic tricks or deception, the likes of which can be seen every day.

Now to the subject of answering questions.  Personally, I am happy to answer "I don't know" when in fact I don't.  Not all questions can be answered, at least not at the current time.  This is a good thing, otherwise there would be nothing new to discover and how boring would that be?

As for what happens after we die, lots of things happen, they just don't involve us.  The thing that scares me is the idea that people who suffer in this life may be rewarded in the next, if they pay respects to their magic man in the sky.  This is a major cop out for those who do not wish to improve things as they are here and now.  This is related to the issue of purpose in our lives.  I can't tell you what should be your purpose, I believe it is up to each of us to choose, or not, whatever purpose we have.  I choose to help others where I can, these days mostly with how to use their computers , but I also spend as much time as I can with my granddaughters (just love those kids to bits) I also try to do my bit for the environment and I am involved in work to help the recovery of some endangered animals, mostly Australian native freshwater fish.  Furthermore, as I have gotten older, and I hope a little wiser, I have tried my best to be more positive and to "spread a little sunshine" in my daily interactions with other people.  A smile or a kind word to someone else does not cost very much but it can conceivably make all the difference to them.  We never know what troubles others are dealing with.  The point of all this is that you don't need a divinely appointed purpose to live a good life or to be a good influence on other people.  Just be your authentic self and enjoy your life without doing things you know will hurt other people or the world at large, and help other when you can.

Also remember that something that answers everything actually answers nothing.  One of the biggest deceptions that religion offers is that anything that isn't known can be explained by inserting [deity of your choice], giving the illusion of knowledge where in fact there is none.

[Icarus]

Hello PNT. Welcome to the forum.

From what you have written, it appears that you are not entirely comfortable with your new found apostasy. Fear not. It is not at all likely that an imaginary god will smite you. Your greatest fear will be  that of being abandoned, or even scorned, by your friends and family. That's a tough nut to crack for most people. 

That you would have to remain quiet about your doubts is unfortunate.  That is a reality that depends very much on what society you live in. Some social groups, like the ones most prevalent in the bible belt, will condemn you to their imaginary hell. Least of all they will see you as an unforgivably evil person. Will you have to remain forever in the closet? Let us hope not.

The people who are most likely to assign your poor soul to perdition, are the ones who are  being beguiled, not you. Your religious peers almost completely believe that their bible is the "word of God".  Precious few of them even know where their good book originated, nor when, but they believe in the why. God did it. Bullshit! Anyone who takes the time or effort to study the history of the "holy scriptures", surely must do a small amount of research. Here is a start........National Geographic, December 2011. A detailed NG follow up was published on December 2018.  That history is most illuminating. The KJV was written by a committee of 54 men in about 1608 and finished in 1611. King James, not Jesus or God or Allah, had the last say about the final result.   

If you are a reader then refer to the book: The End Of Biblical Studies by Hector Avalos professor of theology at Iowa University. SHeesh!!! Iowa is the northern equivalent of the Bible belt that covers Alabama. There is more but that will do for now.

The bottom line is that adherence to the words of the  Christian bible is for the less sophisticated.

You may examine the content of the forum to observe that we do not waste much time or space for bashing  religious people. That is not our style and we see no need to do so. The topics more often include Tanks spectacular Photos, Billies exploits with Motorcycles, Recusant's posts in the science section, Hermes creative sculptor work, Pudding's Aussie bits and a whole lot more.

If you are for real, then by all means welcome to this happy little group. 
   
   

[Asmodean]

this happy little group. 

...and whatever The Asmo is.