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God Says

Started by The Magic Pudding., March 22, 2023, 07:54:12 AM

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The Magic Pudding.

In the tradition of humans telling other humans what god's opinion is on issues, we have the "God Says" thread.

God says chocolate hot cross buns are an abomination.
Apple and cinnamon are OK.

Tank

God says apple and cinnamon hot cross buns are an abomination.
Chocolate are OK.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

The Magic Pudding.

God says your are an evil blasphemer and I have to kill you.
God also says we can put our bun differences aside for now, join forces and go after the LGBT--- folk.

No one

Jimi Hendrix says When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace

Tank

God is bored so needs more wars.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Bluenose

Actually, god is bored with all our wars and really wants to spend some time by a nice river with a fishing rod in his hand
+++ Divide by cucumber error: please reinstall universe and reboot.  +++

GNU Terry Pratchett


Tank

God is bored of fishing. He wants more wars.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Asmodean

The Asmo says that anything that The Asmo does not like is blasphemous, heretical and all manners of wrong.

Being a proper God, however, He insists that His followers not try and SMITE shit on His behalf. The Asmo, you see, He enjoys smiting, and wants to do it His own gray self. :smilenod:
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

The Magic Pudding.

Asmo has spoken unto me!
He insists his followers SMITE! shit on his behalf!!
You see, he enjoys seeing us smiting, he wants us to do it, HIS OWN GREY SELF said so.
Go forth

Asmodean



...Hmm? No... No, The Asmo is sure that you did not, in fact, hear Him laughing maniacally over some well-laid plans. :smileshake:
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Icarus

I am so tired of the masses who claim,and many who really believe, that God will kindly attend to their needs no matter the hardships.

Why did their God thrust those hardships on them in the first place?????  Did God decide to kill all those thousands of Turkish and Syrian people when their earth became angry? All right already...those thousands of humans were heretics who believed in the wrong God..

A local neighborhood forum that I peruse, has a disappointing number of people who are  certain that God is looking out for them every minute of their lives. Some of those people are dying of cancer, Diabetes, kidney failure, heart attacks, and other damned serious health issues. Will they never ever face the reality that their God is a cruel human invention?

Forgive me, I am a mean old bastard on a temporary rant. 

Dark Lightning

"Oh, but the trials I'm facing are just God testing me, it'll be all great in the end". Saccharine sprinkled on shit. And saccharine turns out to be carcinogenic.

Asmodean

Quote from: Icarus on March 24, 2023, 12:01:18 AMI am so tired of the masses who claim,and many who really believe, that God will kindly attend to their needs no matter the hardships.

Why did their God thrust those hardships on them in the first place?????  Did God decide to kill all those thousands of Turkish and Syrian people when their earth became angry? All right already...those thousands of humans were heretics who believed in the wrong God..
Indeed, and The Asmo can suggest a solution; a better God - one up front about His motivations. Like... The Asmo, for example. He is evil and smitey and life's a bitch and then you die. :smilenod:
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

My dog would be a better god than God!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

No one

god just told me,all this animosity and mocking, has hurt her wittle fewwings, and requests you cease and desist immediately.


Also, god says i need a swimming pool in my swimming pool.