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Poetry Thread

Started by Biggus Dickus, September 11, 2021, 05:18:22 PM

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MarcusA

I am not going to fall over myself for a rhyme.
This user has been banned for spamming the forum.

No one

Will not tumble,
Will not fall.
Will not stumble,
Or falter at all.
Make the climb,
To my prime.
And in I chime,
With dramatic rhyme.

Icarus

There once was a pirate named Gates
he did the fandango on skates
He slipped on his cutlass
which rendered him nutless
and practically useless on dates.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

No one

Rolling on floor
laughing out loud
Humorous limerick
Mr.Pam is wowed.
With jolly antics
Melted wings flying proud.
Standing out
within the crowd.

The Magic Pudding.

The cosmos nurtures nonlocal sensations
Nonlocal sensations nurture the cosmos
Cosmos nuturing non local sensations

billy rubin

there once was a woman named gail

who squeezed all her shit through a veil.

but her asshole was rotton

and the veil was thin cotton

so she splattered all over the pail.

thank you.


and how can you smile when your reasons for smiling are wrong?

No one

So hip to be tragic
the pudding of magic
with oded pen
of cosmic zen
where buzzin' Billy
unveiled the silly
on fabric weaving
splattered heaving.

Icarus

I liked the meanderings of Ogden Nash. He did some humorous poetry but also had a knack for brevity. Example; "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker".

Dark Lightning

World's shortest limerick-

There was a young man named Fürster
Fucked his girl 'til he burst her.

The Magic Pudding.

#70
Quote from: Dark Lightning on May 02, 2023, 12:36:20 AMWorld's shortest limerick-

There was a young man named Fürster
Fucked his girl 'til he burst her.
Quote from: Dark Lightning on May 02, 2023, 12:36:20 AMWorld's shortest limerick-

There was a young man named Fürster
Fucked his girl 'til he burst her.

I know i don't like it
Must be something wrong
with you if you do

The Magic Pudding.

Quote from: billy rubin on May 01, 2023, 11:53:38 AMthere once was a woman named gail

who squeezed all her shit through a veil.

but her asshole was rotton

and the veil was thin cotton

so she splattered all over the pail.

thank you.

Lovely, would you show your daughter this?

MarcusA

Quote from: The Magic Pudding. on May 02, 2023, 02:35:15 PM
Quote from: billy rubin on May 01, 2023, 11:53:38 AMthere once was a woman named gail

who squeezed all her shit through a veil.

but her asshole was rotton

and the veil was thin cotton

so she splattered all over the pail.

thank you.

Lovely, would you show your daughter this?

He read it off a toilet door. Not applicable.
This user has been banned for spamming the forum.

billy rubin

#73
Quote from: The Magic Pudding. on May 02, 2023, 02:35:15 PM
Quote from: billy rubin on May 01, 2023, 11:53:38 AMthere once was a woman named gail

who squeezed all her shit through a veil.

but her asshole was rotton

and the veil was thin cotton

so she splattered all over the pail.

thank you.

Lovely, would you show your daughter this?

lol

absolutely

i have two daughtes. one is a plant physiologist who jumps out of airplanes, and the other is a maintenance engineer at a local hotel heading for a commercial eletrician apprenticeship.

i have heard much worse from both of them independently


and how can you smile when your reasons for smiling are wrong?

Dark Lightning

'twas the night of the king's castration.
Everyone was having a ball.
All the counts, viscounts and discounts
Were sitting around the square table
Flinging camel turds, as bullshit as a phrase
Had not yet been invented
Shit flew at random
Random ducked, and some shit the king in the eye
"Shit", cried the king, and 29,000 royal subjects
Squatted and groaned, for in those days, the king's word was law.
Daniel walked into the court and inquired,
"Where's the Princess?"
"She's in bed with diarrhea", the king replied.
"What, that Greek bastard is back in town!?", Daniel responded
For his insolence, Daniel was tossed into the lion's den
Daniel grabbed a lion by a nut
"Ouch", said the lion
Daniel grabbed both of the lion's nuts
"Tee-hee, that tickles" said the lion
"What tickles?", inquired Daniel
"Testicles", replied the lion
And they chalked one up for the mangy beast
For this display of courage
Daniel was taken from the lion's den
Daniel walked into the court and inquired,
"Where's the Princess?"
"Oh, fuck the princess!", cried the king
And 29,000 loyal subjects were killed in a mad dash to the castle
For in those days the King's work was law.