I've Been Touched by Jesus

MadBomr101 · May 10, 2020, 03:46:27 AM

He touched me in a very naughty place. I don't feel loved, just...violated. I think I should report this to the cops.

At least I'm saved now.

Post 9 of 25

Old Seer · May 10, 2020, 05:26:56 AM

Did your IQ go up any?

No one · May 10, 2020, 06:45:51 AM

That wasn't Jesus, it was Frank.
Frank has some issues. He's trying to work through them.
This is a major setback.

MadBomr101 · May 10, 2020, 09:51:53 AM

Quote from: No one on May 10, 2020, 06:45:51 AM
That wasn't Jesus, it was Frank.

Wait...so I'm not saved?

MadBomr101 · May 10, 2020, 09:58:33 AM

Quote from: Old Seer on May 10, 2020, 05:26:56 AM
Did your IQ go up any?

Right, like that's ever gonna be a thing.

Old Seer · May 10, 2020, 02:33:29 PM

I thought there might be a surge of enlightenment giving me hope for the future if I get touched. But alas.

xSilverPhinx · May 10, 2020, 02:43:39 PM

Quote from: MadBomr101 on May 10, 2020, 09:51:53 AM
Quote from: No one on May 10, 2020, 06:45:51 AM
That wasn't Jesus, it was Frank.

Wait...so I'm not saved?

Whatever Frank told you isn't true, MadBomr101.

Asmodean · May 10, 2020, 04:59:46 PM

Quote from: MadBomr101 on May 10, 2020, 03:46:27 AM
He touched me in a very naughty place. I don't feel loved, just...violated. I think I should report this to the cops.

The

symbol in your profile says "Not a crime." Unless of course you are powerful and/or rich and/or were a child at the time of the touching. In them cases, you totally ought to hashtag metoo Jesus into Republicanism.

Dark Lightning · May 10, 2020, 11:47:57 PM

I know a guy who plays footy with Jesus at lunch time, where he works. Here in southern California there are hundreds of guys named Jesus.

hermes2015 · May 11, 2020, 05:18:05 AM

The problem is that beard gives me a rash in inconvenient places.

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I've Been Touched by Jesus