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Things that make you chuckle

Started by Dave, September 06, 2017, 06:32:33 PM

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Dark Lightning

Quote from: Papasito Bruno on July 09, 2021, 02:37:29 PM
Quick question.

If married Trump supporters get divorced, do they remain cousins? :notsure:

Not if they were brother and sister.  ;D

billy rubin



well, i said i would never go back over the road zgain, but here is my current load of aluminium ingots, somr 13 of them, at 754 kilos each.

the oil field sand proved unprofitable so i am hauling steel plate to michigan, aluminum or steel coils east to pennsylvania, and then more steel back to ohio.

life is an odd thing.

this will work well after i teach my three bosses that it is not a good idea to want me drive to 91 hours per week when i am legal for only 70


more people have been to berlin than i have

Papasito Bruno

I was at the bar recently (Drinking non-alcoholic drinks only of course) when this extremely attractive, and somewhat older woman sat down next to me.

We started to talk, and I was soon drawn to not only her wit and charm, but sophisticated style. As I said she was extremely attractive, I'm talking Hellen Mirren with a slight American, sexy, southern belle accent.

Things started to get flirtatious, and I soon realized she was coming on to me.

She then looked straight at me and asked if I wanted to go back to her place, and as she put it, "Explore our sexual deviancy together"!

I was taken aback by her forwardness, but she was so damn sexy and attractive that I found myself saying "Oh yes"!

She then leaned forward, and asked if I could guess her age. I didn't want to spoil things by guessing wrong, so I told her as a gentleman I would never assume a woman's age, but she looked right at me and said, "I'm 67...you still interested"?

I said, "Yes I am",... and commented to her how unbelievably beautiful she was!

She smiled, thanked me, and then asked me if I ever tried a "Johnny Walker Triple"?

"Is that some kind of drink", I said, and "no I haven't".

She then whispered in my ear, "It's not a drink, it's when a mother and daughter team up together and give a man a sexual adventure he'll never forget"!

"What do you think", she said, "Are you still interested"?

Now all I can imagine is how attractive this woman's daughter must be,...I mean she is stunning at 67, her daughter must be unbelievable!

I've never done anything like this before, and again before I knew it  I said, "Oh yes, let's do this"!

She said, "Ok, let's go, I have a key to her place, she's at home,....I'll call her and let her know we are on our way"


We arrive at this expensive Town House, and as we are standing together at the door about to go in she leans over and gives me a long sensual kiss...then she whispers in my ear that I'm about to experience a once in a lifetime rapture of sexual abandonment that I'll never forget.

I'm so excited I can only smile back at her.

She opens the door with her key, and as we walk in she yells out, Mom we're here"!!!
"Most people would rather be boring than be bored." <br />― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Papasito Bruno

"Most people would rather be boring than be bored." <br />― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Icarus

^ Those kids would be popular because they could buy beer without being carded.

Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Icarus

Old time cornpone humor.

You may recognize some of the audience if you are old enough.

billy rubin



more people have been to berlin than i have

hermes2015

"Who is to say that pleasure is useless?"
― Charles Eames

Recusant

Something that could have been in Gravity's Rainbow:smokin cool:

I admit that despite having read a fair bit about WWII, I had not heard this one. According to one rather long-winded article I found, this story was around as early as 1940.

Quote[An] anecdote supporting the theory that wooden bombs were dropped on decoy airfields by Allied pilots comes from the diary of American journalist William L. Shirer, 'Berlin Diary: The Journal of a Foreign Correspondent 1934-1941'.

On November 27, 1940, he wrote of a "funny" story he had been told, saying:

"X ... says the British intelligence in Holland is working fine. Both sides in this war have built a number of dummy airdromes and strewn them with wooden planes.

"X says the Germans recently completed a very large one near Amsterdam.

"They lined up more than a hundred dummy planes made of wood on the field and waited for the British to come over and bomb them.

"Next morning the British did come. They let loose with a lot of bombs.

"The bombs were made of wood."

[Full article.]

"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


hermes2015

"Who is to say that pleasure is useless?"
― Charles Eames

billy rubin



more people have been to berlin than i have