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Accomplice syndrome

Started by Dave, March 03, 2017, 09:00:26 PM

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Dave

Have you ever been used as the accomplice or excuse for another's excesses? Must have been someone's PhD project but can't find it.

Scenario 1: Fred liked to drink but felt a little bit guilty about gojing to the pub alone. He shared his house with John, an easy going type, and nagged, jokingly, until he got John to agree to go out for a drink. Thus it was not entirely his fault that they drank a bit more than was healthy.

Scenario 2: Sue really loved her food but was a bit guilty about her burgening waistline. However, she dropped hints with all her friends about going out for lunch. Then, when they, once or twice a month, suggested lunch she was a willing partner. Lots of friends = lots of lunches. But her bulging middle was their fault of course, she did not want to offend by turning the invites down.

Thought it was an aspect of Eric Berne's "See what you made me do now" in his 1973 book  "Games people play" but it's not quite the same.

Anyone else met this phenomena?
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74

Arturo

Yes but not as black and white as those examples. My step mom lost her mirror once and blamed me for stealing it because she let me use it once.
It's Okay To Say You're Welcome
     Just let people be themselves.
     Arturo The1  リ壱

Dave

Quote from: Arturo on March 03, 2017, 09:06:14 PM
Yes but not as black and white as those examples. My step mom lost her mirror once and blamed me for stealing it because she let me use it once.
Your example is really more "black and white" I think. If she actually lost it that implies she forgot she used it after you or "displaced" her fault onto you. In my examples I think the actions were premeditated, maybe unconciously, and there was a tactical build-up to the accomplishment of the plan.

Hmm, but they are all "guilt displacement" of a kind.
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74

No one

My cousin used me once as a getaway driver, once!

Tank

Quote from: No one on March 03, 2017, 09:44:59 PM
My cousin used me once as a getaway driver, once!
You got caught?
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Recusant

Our nature as a social species means this sort of thing is just part of how we live, I'd say.
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Pasta Chick

I generally catch and refuse to play in to that shit, and it's cost me relationships. Mostly in the drinking scenario.

Dave

Quote from: Recusant on March 05, 2017, 02:29:00 AM
Our nature as a social species means this sort of thing is just part of how we live, I'd say.
That is true, all part of the rich theatre that is human psychology and nature.
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74

Ecurb Noselrub

I had too much to drink Friday night and I blame Tank because he wasn't there to stop me.  He's an enabler.

Dave

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on March 05, 2017, 03:38:10 PM
I had too much to drink Friday night and I blame Tank because he wasn't there to stop me.  He's an enabler.
I have actually heard that one for real!
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74

Tank

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on March 05, 2017, 03:38:10 PM
I had too much to drink Friday night and I blame Tank because he wasn't there to stop me.  He's an enabler.

:mb lol:
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

hermes2015

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on March 05, 2017, 03:38:10 PM
I had too much to drink Friday night and I blame Tank because he wasn't there to stop me.  He's an enabler.

Drink and be Tankful.
"Who is to say that pleasure is useless?"
― Charles Eames

Dave

Quote from: hermes2015 on March 05, 2017, 10:25:49 PM
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on March 05, 2017, 03:38:10 PM
I had too much to drink Friday night and I blame Tank because he wasn't there to stop me.  He's an enabler.

Drink and be Tankful.

:picard facepalm:
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74