Entertaining reads?

[afreethinker30]

Handy Homo Prevention Tips For Concerned Parents With Suspect Toddlers  
1. A boy must not sit on a toilet unless he is having a bowel movement.
2. A boy must eat everything on his plate.
3. A boy must always wear socks, except while swimming.
4. A boy must not be allowed to watch cartoons of any kind.
5. A boy must not play with dolls.
6. A boy must not refer to his parents as "Mommy" or "Daddy."
7. A boy must always wear thick, white underwear.
8. A boy must never cry or pout.
9. A boy must not use brightly colored crayons or any crayons from any colors of a rainbow.
10. A boy must not skip or prance

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0704/homoprevention.html

[Asmodean]

A parent can never act too soon in taking precautionary measures to ensure that their child will never become intoxicated with mommy's perfume and choose to devote his life to being a prancing homo. By being both proactive and willing to inflict welts for Jesus, you can beat Satan at his own sick game and prevent him from turning your impressionable child into an ugly, rotting twig in the family tree crying out for brutal pruning.

Christian Doctors at Landover Baptist Hospital's Homosexual Reparative Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward have put together a handy list of preventative tips for concerned parents with newborns or toddlers. Please print out these Godly reminders and pop them in your purse the moment your water breaks for handy reference.

Fire those "doctors", take them out back and shoot them. Then shoot that website.

As far as scientific research says, you can not artificially alter sexual orientation. Not through god, not through drugs, not through group therapy.

You can possibly bully a bisexual person into settling on a heterosexual path, but they'd still remain bisexuals.

As for "inflicting welts for Jesus",

Stanislaus County sheriff's investigators spent Father's Day trying to determine what led a 27-year-old Turlock man to pull over on a darkened country road, yank a toddler from a child seat in his truck and repeatedly kick and stomp the boy to death before the man was shot and killed by police.

Witnesses began calling 911 about 10:15 p.m. Saturday, reporting a man assaulting a baby on Bradbury Road near Blaker Road in a rural area several miles west of Turlock filled with cow pastures and dairy farms, a sheriff's news release said.

Horrified passers-by tried to intervene by yelling and pushing the infant's attacker, but the man pushed them away as he repeatedly kicked, punched and stomped the child against the pavement.

"In the shadows and light it looked like he had hit an animal," said Dan Robinson, the chief of Crows Landing Volunteer Fire Department, who came upon the chaos driving home from a late dinner in Turlock. "As we backed up again, I could see that he had blood on his arms. I could see that it was a small child."

Robinson jumped from his vehicle and confronted the man, who lunged at him. Robinson said the man wasn't screaming and wasn't loud, but was forceful, saying "demons" were in the boy.

(Full story at source: http://www.mercurynews.com/crime/ci_9596223 )

Guess that kid will never turn gay, eh?  

Oh, and just so it is said, I've rarely even seen my mother for the first ten years of my life. And never called her "mommy" either. And I can't remember her ever even wearing perfume. So what, dear fundies, possessed me into being into both sexes?

[OldGit]

One of the best piss-takes I've seen for ages.  Poor little feller, having to pee higher than his diddle head!

[Asmodean]

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/index.php <<Check out their forum! Almost makes me wanna go do some honest trolling... Although I hold myself too good for such lowly acts  

[jcm]

Handy Homo Prevention Tips For Concerned Parents With Suspect Toddlers  
1. A boy must not sit on a toilet unless he is having a bowel movement.
2. A boy must eat everything on his plate.
3. A boy must always wear socks, except while swimming.
4. A boy must not be allowed to watch cartoons of any kind.
5. A boy must not play with dolls.
6. A boy must not refer to his parents as "Mommy" or "Daddy."
7. A boy must always wear thick, white underwear.
8. A boy must never cry or pout.
9. A boy must not use brightly colored crayons or any crayons from any colors of a rainbow.
10. A boy must not skip or prance

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0704/homoprevention.html

Damn good rules! Damn good.

They forgot about teaching them to drown kittens and to kick the elderly down stairs.

[myleviathan]

Very funny site. Comparible to www.objectiveministries.org. Lots of goot heathen swag. I'm dying to get some atheist stuff. My wife won't like it though.

[afreethinker30]

Sad thing is that isn't the worst that I've seen.I think Fred Phelps has by far been the worst.But if he wasn't on this earth then we wouldn't get a good laugh at this. [youtube:fi0xlvka]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLnQbgskLnA[/youtube:fi0xlvka]

There is yet another video that is out by this  .It's not safe for work so I will just post a link to it instead. Oh I suggest you watch out for the end. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikvdk-GJANQ&feature=related

[Salladin]

Wow, god forbid you actually have a homosexual child.  It's just never enough for them is it?

[Asmodean]

Wow, god forbid you actually have a homosexual child.

*Fundiesih tone* God, in his glorious omni-phobia, DO forbid you from actually having a homosexual child.

[Salladin]

*Fundiesih tone* God, in his glorious omni-phobia, DO forbid you from actually having a homosexual child.

I just can't see how these people can believe that.  People are people.

[afreethinker30]

*Fundiesih tone* God, in his glorious omni-phobia, DO forbid you from actually having a homosexual child.

I just can't see how these people can believe that.  People are people.

It's breed into the Christians when they are wee ones.Christians are a bloody people I'm afraid and anything or anyone who doesn't agree with them will burn in the eternal fires of hell.

[leftyguitarjoe]

One cannot prevent homosexuality. One friend of mine, whom I've known since KINDERGARDEN, discovered he was gay a few years ago. And I can tell you, crayons, crying, and cartoons have NOTHING to do with it

[MikeyV]

I just want to make sure you are aware that landover baptist is a parody site. The authors are atheist...

[Asmodean]

Just a note, I have no quarrel with homosexuality, "gay" is just alot faster to type :cool:

[leftyguitarjoe]

Just a note, I have no quarrel with homosexuality, "gay" is just alot faster to type :cool:

point taken