Relieved.

[the_atheist_organist]

Hi everyone,

My name is Caroline. After ending my 16 years of Catholicism and discovering that god does not exist, I was relieved and happy, and decided to quickly find others who already know what I just learned. I googled "happy atheist" (because i'm happy to be one!) and this site popped up.
I'm not exactly "out" yet, only a few people know about my change in beliefs. (I am an organist... and my job at church would be at risk if the people there found out. What a dilemma, huh...) So here I am! it's nice to be here.

[McQ]

Hi everyone,

My name is Caroline. After ending my 16 years of Catholicism and discovering that god does not exist, I was relieved and happy, and decided to quickly find others who already know what I just learned. I googled "happy atheist" (because i'm happy to be one!) and this site popped up.
I'm not exactly "out" yet, only a few people know about my change in beliefs. (I am an organist... and my job at church would be at risk if the people there found out. What a dilemma, huh...) So here I am! it's nice to be here.

Welcome, Caroline. At 16, you are your church's organist? Wow! Pretty big job, especially given your new circumstance.

Thanks for posting your poll. I was a christian. I have been roman catholic, baptist, methodist, and independent baptist. Lots of journeying through christianity searching for the truth. Only found it by leaving the church.

I am not completely "out" with people either. My wife and some friends know, but not one of my brothers, and not some of my wife's family. It's not really important for me to deal with them though, so it's no big thing.

You're in good company though, so make yourself at home.

[Kona]

Well, it is hard to be a new atheist and still persist in a religious environment.  Don't feel bad about, though. You're no longer bound by false guilt.  Besides,  not like you can run down to the local atheist 'church' and join the big happy family. As far as I can tell, atheists are not very well organized as it is almost antithetical to do so.  Speaking only for myself, atheist don't seem to want to have the 'appearance' of something akin to an organized religion. Hell, if it weren't for the internet, I don't know how you would find us.  Anyway, nice to have you here!  

PS  When I was your age, I was joining the church, so you are far ahead of most of your cohorts.

[SteveS]

Hello the_atheist_organist and a hearty welcome!  Kudos on finding the intellectual strength to "break free" at your age - I sincerely congratulate you!

Playing the organ in a church has an aesthetic appeal to me -- sounds like fun, actually.  I love a good organ piece.  I am a very, very amateur keyboard player (I grew up my entire childhood playing clarinet, which is really hard to continue as an adult, but an inexpensive electric keyboard is easy to acquire.  As soon as I got one I set the voice to church or pipe organ, whatever the thing had, and started trying to learn to play Bach pieces because I think they're really cool).

For what it's worth, I'd say try to stick with the job and playing (especially if you enjoy it).  Churches are beautiful buildings ---- just think, if we got rid of all the religious mumbo-jumbo we could still use them to get together socially and appreciate some good music and good conversation in a beautiful building!  Might take down the crucified Jesus, though, I always found those creepy.

Just keep in mind my opinion is coming from a man who was never religious and hasn't spent more than a few weddings and funerals inside churches.  It's entirely possible that if I was dealing with breaking a childhood indoctrination I might find churches abhorrent and have no desire to be near one ever again.

Anyway - welcome to the board, I hope you enjoy your stay, and enjoy being 16!  Man, it seems so long ago to me that I was that age.

[tacoma_kyle]

Yeah I kinda was.

Being that the years preceeding my atheism I was only 15 and back.

My family (mostly grandmother) was the one that said 'your christian, your christian....'


Organ... Damn....

[MommaSquid]

Welcome to the forum, Caroline.  

I am a former Roman Catholic, and you will find that the majority of our forum members were religious at one time (whether by choice or being forced into it as children).

Congrats on finding your way here.

[the_atheist_organist]

Thanks so much for your comments, everyone. One of the hard things about being an organist is having to be immersed in the liturgy every sunday and more... but I just disconnect myself emotionally and mentally and just concentrate on playing well.

Something you said, Kona, reminded me of a line in Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion" (which I'm trying to read right now). He likened trying to organize atheists to herding cats. He goes on to say, "Even if they can't be herded, cats in sufficient numbers can make a lot of noise and can't be ignored. (p.5)" Haha. But it's true.

[tacoma_kyle]

I've been workin on that book for about 7 to 8 months now . Started last July. Put it down for 3 months or so around Sept. Picked it up at some point.

30 pages left. Almost there...

[Whitney]

Welcome to the forum, Caroline.  If you ever find playing the organ at a christian church to be too annoying; there are some somewhat secular churches out there that probably also need an organist (i.e. Unitarian Universalists).  There actually is a freethough church around here...I haven't been to it yet because I'm lazy and won't get up early on weekends.

[Kona]

Well, Caroline, I haven't actually read any Dawkins, though he is on my list of books to read.  I read Schermer's "How We Believe" and it confirmed many concepts I had arrived at independently.  As far as I can tell, becoming an atheist is akin to coming out of the 'Matrix'.  You now exist in a 'real' world whilst most everyone around you continues to adhere to the mass God delusion to varying degrees.  It is almost a 'religious' experience to come to this realization that there is not god holding everything together.  Anyway, hope you continue to pursue the music of life.  And if you ever feel like cutting lose in church.....just play 'Light My Fire' by The Doors.  That would be a truly freeing experience.

Meow!

[McQ]

Baseball stadiums and hockey rinks are nice organ gigs too.  

[the_atheist_organist]

If you ever find playing the organ at a christian church to be too annoying; there are some somewhat secular churches out there that probably also need an organist (i.e. Unitarian Universalists).  

My best friend actually has been telling me that I need to just be the organist for a Unitarian church. He's usually just joking around, but it's not a bad idea. I thought that most had converted to using guitars and drums, though?

And sure, baseball stadiums reallyyyy utilize the important organ literature . Also, if i played The Doors during mass, I'm pretty sure my conservative, "no-music-written-after-1750" priest would go into hysterics upon my doing so. You guys are too funny.

[Whitney]

If you ever find playing the organ at a christian church to be too annoying; there are some somewhat secular churches out there that probably also need an organist (i.e. Unitarian Universalists).  

My best friend actually has been telling me that I need to just be the organist for a Unitarian church. He's usually just joking around, but it's not a bad idea. I thought that most had converted to using guitars and drums, though?
 

It probably depends on if the building they are using has an organ or not.  Those that don't have organs most likely use a piano or electric piano (do those play similarly to an organ?)  I was in a church band a long way back...we had guitars and a piano but no drums.

[SteveS]

I really liked the Doors idea - reminds me of that Simpson's episode where Bart puts "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" on the organ player's music stand (hilarity ensues) :wink:  .

Hockey arena organ player sounds like a great job too, but I might be slightly biased due to my obsessive love of hockey.

Actually, the organ was a huge part of the old Chicago Stadium, and in the new building (United Center) they've had an organist named Frank Pellico who has been playing for a long time and is really good.  This year, the Blackhawks are going through all sorts of re-managing, re-organizing, re-marketing, etc. etc. on account of the old owner dying and his son trying to save the franchise (which has been doing miserably).  Unfortunately, one change has been more pop-music and less organ playing, which is too bad.  They used to give him a 10-minute or so run in the 2nd intermission called the "Frank Pellico Hour" where he would just blast away on the organ.  It was cool, too bad they took it out    

Anyway, I was curious, how do you practice at home?  Can you get something with foot pedals and the whole deal without breaking the bank, or do you have to practice on the real organ in the church on off-hours?

[the_atheist_organist]

Anyway, I was curious, how do you practice at home?  Can you get something with foot pedals and the whole deal without breaking the bank, or do you have to practice on the real organ in the church on off-hours?

Nope, no organ at my house. I practice piano there, but organ practice happens at my church. It's a great organ, I like it a lot... and people aren't there when I practice, so i'm not bugging anyone. Buying a crappy electronic organ would end up costing the same as gas prices going to and from church... so it's about equal. the bank's broken no matter what!