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Marriage - why do atheists do it?

Started by Smarmy Of One, January 29, 2008, 02:54:19 PM

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Janga

#30
I don't look at marriage as a "union under God". I look at it as a union of two people who love each other. It's more of a cultural tradition for me.

I mean, I still celebreate Christmas, even though I'm an atheist. I celebrate it to spend time with family, give and get gifts, and watch Santa Claus movies. What's wrong with that?

I see it as a cultural tradition, not to celebreate the highly questionable birthday of some guy who lived 2 thousand years ago. I just want my fruitcake...lol

Kylyssa

#31
Other than to share health care benefits or whatnot I see no reason to marry.    It's a custom that has its origin in times and cultures wherein women were regarded as little more than childbearing cattle.  I'd rather stay with my love or loves because I love them rather than because I'm contractually obligated and I'm sure they feel the same.

Eris

#32
I was engaged when I first became an atheist. A few months after, I broke the engagement because suddenly marriage made no sense to me. So I totally agree with you.

Aside from being a religious practice, it's also a business transaction between father and husband - a sale of females as property. I'm pleased that we've evolved past this custom.
Seek the truth, come whence it may, cost what it may.

SteveS

#33
Quote from: "Eris"it's also a business transaction between father and husband - a sale of females as property
Man - then I must be the world's all time worst business man.  My wife's parents were divorced, and she was not close to her father at all --- I ended up paying for the entire wedding myself.

BleedingOrchid

#34
Quote from: "SteveS"As long as I'm married, my medical coverage through work covers my non-working wife.  This was a heck of a good reason!  

BTW, we were married by a retired judge in a chapel - no church required, and the reception was a great party.  Another good reason.

I married for a similar reason. The legal reasons for marriage are the reasons we married. My spouse is on disability & my medical coverage takes care of his medicine & doc visits. Also, he's legally bound to our debt should we decide to separate. When my gf & I broke up (yes, gf), she left me in a mountain of debt ($30K) & I had no legal way of having her pay for part of it b/c everything was in my name.

Also, hubby & I were married in a gazebo outside by a Methodist minister from a local hospital. We specifically asked that he not mention religion during the ceremony, so he didn't.  Also, the reception was fun & our honeymoon was at the beach (North Carolina)...it was a lot of fun!
Here we are
Upon your stage
The love we share
The dreams we'll save
They're bleeding the orchid...~Smashing Pumpkins

SteveS

#35
Indeed, BleedingOrchid, the laws being what they are there is a definite utilitarian benefit to marriage.

Quote from: "BleedingOrchid"Also, the reception was fun & our honeymoon was at the beach (North Carolina)...it was a lot of fun!
Glad to hear it - the reception and honeymoon are the best part of the experience!

ShimShamSam

#36
I know I'm only 20, but try not to think I don't know what I'm talking about (though I may not)

Normally I would say getting married is the...symbolism of a deeper commitment between two people. But seeing the divorce rates that there are today I think the true meaning of marriage is lost, at least for some. But when I do get married someday I will certainly do it to show my deep commitment to someone. And for other people looking at us will actually see the commitment in a way that just saying it without marriage cant.

Smarmy Of One

#37
The divorce rate is another thing that makes me question the value of marriage. It's at 50% in North America! It seems like marriage is a conspiracy dreamed up by a powerful underground wedding planner/event hall owner/divorce lawyer consortium!

jassi4010709

im getting married because my girlfriend is buddhist. lol

i suppose its all down to pagan rituals, not religion

Smarmy Of One

Pagan rituals are religion. Also, Buddhists are not considered pagans.

Hidelight

I wish we had domestic partnership for all ..to cover the legal stuff..then let marriage be reserved folks who want the party or church wedding


I probably would not be "married" if it had not been for my husband job taking him overseas...I could not go with him unless we were married ( at least not for free with housing!)

So we did the deed..but even waaaay back the I tried but the judge would not take god out of the vows...I did not want "vows" even! But we had no choice

So we just ran into the courthouse with friends...then ran out

I am so happy we are still united...paper does not matter to us but it protects us anyway

Willow

We got married for the public recognition of our relationship.  We had a wedding for the party.  Marriage is culturally significant as well as being religious for those who want a religious wedding.  We had a secular wedding in a local medieval hall.  It was great.
Technically, being married means that the husband can have his name on a child's birth certificate, even if he doesn't to register the birth himself.  I think that non-married couples have to pay inheritance tax in this country, but it may have been changed.

I was reluctant to get married, because I remebered what our formothers said, "End human sacrifice. Don't get married".  But mine is not a marriage of servitude, and I made an exception for Tim and married him.

My father did not give me away because I was never his to give.  I did allow him to escort me down the aisle though.

Stevil

We got married because we wanted to make a strong commitment towards each other in front of our family and friends. I also like being able to state that she is my wife when I fill out forms and stuff.

OldGit

We got married because 40 years ago there was still quite a stigma to "living in sin" and children being bastards.  The wife's parents were both prominent professionals and the alternative would have done them no good.

We had a boring wedding and reception but a lot of excellent wedding presents made up for that.

Both my daughters married and I am  fairly pleased about that, even though times have changed.  Statistically, married couples are much less likely to split up, and (call me fuddy-duddy) kids are much better brought up by two parents.

Sweetdeath

Quote from: OldGit on August 05, 2011, 12:39:26 PM
Statistically, married couples are much less likely to split up, and (call me fuddy-duddy) kids are much better brought up by two parents.

I beg to differ.  Married couples who aren't in love anymore.  Aren't affectionate, but still together anyway. What kind of life is that?   My girlfriend's parents have been together 30 years, and trust me when I saw they are the most unloving people.

Marriage has nothing to do with love. It never has. I wish people would stop making marriage seem like a magical fix to life's problems. I'm so very not into marriage..
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

"I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn't mend our wounds.