Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of

[DeterminedJuliet]

What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

What's the salary like?

En_Route Global inc will line your palm with silver, which should contrast pleasingly with bronze. We might even be persuaded  to throw in a few Modcloth vouchers if you play hard to get.

If I'm allowed to tease the dwarf, we might have a deal.

[Ali]

Battery operated socks that warm themselves.

http://www.lazyboneuk.com/products/Battery-Heated-Socks.html

  They don't have Mediums though.  I'm totally buying some as soon as they do. 

[En_Route]

What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

What's the salary like?

En_Route Global inc will line your palm with silver, which should contrast pleasingly with bronze. We might even be persuaded  to throw in a few Modcloth vouchers if you play hard to get.

If I'm allowed to tease the dwarf, we might have a deal.

OK, but just don't use the D- word in his presence. Not because he objects to profanity or has any complex about the dimensions of his genitalia, but unfortunately his brother Richard was recently mown down by a runaway supermarket trolley.

[original_gender]

I think the driving experience would be less emotionally destructive if "Sorry" and "Thank You" indicator lights came standard with turning signals on automobiles.

I think they'd sell better if the wording was a touch more obscene and insulting.

Yeah, I guess that becomes evident when you consider how infrequently turn signals are employed.

[Buddy]

I think the driving experience would be less emotionally destructive if "Sorry" and "Thank You" indicator lights came standard with turning signals on automobiles.

I think they'd sell better if the wording was a touch more obscene and insulting.

Yeah, I guess that becomes evident when you consider how infrequently turn signals are employed.

I remember seeing a sign that hung in the back of the car, but I cannot find the website it had it on.

*Edit- AHA! found it!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/d138/?srp=9

[markmcdaniel]

An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...

I will take two. Payment will be in the form of one wood fueled steam powered stat ship.

[Asmodean]

An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...

I will take two. Payment will be in the form of one wood fueled steam powered stat ship.

Ah! Yes, The Asmo could use that in his evil schemes.  He'll take one in payment and four as an offering. 

Actually, what I think I may well try and sell is my "foolproof" missile navigation system. Should be hugely expensive, but able to bypass all countermeasures I am aware of (except direct hit by a fast-moving object - that is taken care of by a different design, The Asmo's Shieldbusters) when used against ground or air units.

[xSilverPhinx]

A satellite that scans and reads people's lips from outer space.

[Asmodean]

A satellite that scans and reads people's lips from outer space.

Nice! Not a difficult tech, although working conditions that include clouds, buildings and such could make it so.

[xSilverPhinx]

A satellite that scans and reads people's lips from outer space.

Nice! Not a difficult tech, although working conditions that include clouds, buildings and such could make it so.

Back to the drawing board...

A satellite that captures people's thoughts through an inserted microchip in their brains (an advanced version would also have to be invented) to bypass all weather conditions and geographical characteristics.  

Some people would give an arm for that sort of tech, scarily enough.

[OldGit]

A satellite for turning politicians off.

[markmcdaniel]

An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...

I will take two. Payment will be in the form of one wood fueled steam powered stat ship.

Ah! Yes, The Asmo could use that in his evil schemes.  He'll take one in payment and four as an offering. 

Actually, what I think I may well try and sell is my "foolproof" missile navigation system. Should be hugely expensive, but able to bypass all countermeasures I am aware of (except direct hit by a fast-moving object - that is taken care of by a different design, The Asmo's Shieldbusters) when used against ground or air units.

It would have to be expensive. fools are so ingenious. Set up a test my plans for galactic domination could use it.

[Asmodean]

It would have to be expensive. fools are so ingenious. Set up a test my plans for galactic domination could use it.

I'd ask for about 4-5 million Euro per unit, and that does not include the cost of the missile, the fuel and the warheads. Just the guidance complete with fins and nav thrusters, ground equipment, computers, sensors, support personnel training and the countermeasure avoidance system.

Very expensive, yes, but much less so than most modern aircraft...

[Siz]

Padded condoms.

Rubber keypad cover for harmless keyboard headbutting in the office.
(Also, punchproof flatscreen monitors, shatterproof phone handsets and insultproof staff)

Waterproof pitta-bread to allay Kebab traumas.

Stapler/calculator alarm to discourage lightfingered office staff.

Ear coolers (I suffer from hot ears occasionally).

Autotune-equipped video-cameras for kids' nativities/recitals/concerts.

[Ali]

Ear coolers (I suffer from hot ears occasionally).

Most people refer to that as a hot head.  Hothead.   

How about self cooling pillows (my hothead heats up pillows in minutes!)

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

Kitten mittens. 












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