Creative Insults

[Dobermonster]

"I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire."

Also came across a this brilliant Charlie Brooker rant on the bullying of Rebecca Black (best bit starts at 3:00).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZwPj3fWR9k

[OldGit]

^ Shit - that clip has been blocked in the UK by those miserable tight-arsed bastards at Channel 4.

[Crow]

^ Shit - that clip has been blocked in the UK by those miserable tight-arsed bastards at Channel 4.

This might be the video (its bad quality though).

[Dobermonster]

^ Shit - that clip has been blocked in the UK by those miserable tight-arsed bastards at Channel 4.

This might be the video (its bad quality though).

That's the one, yeah. Bad quality, but watchable.

[Tom62]

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

[Crow]

^ Shit - that clip has been blocked in the UK by those miserable tight-arsed bastards at Channel 4.

This might be the video (its bad quality though).

That's the one, yeah. Bad quality, but watchable.

I personally love Charlie Brookers style of insulting people. Here is another one for you if you haven't already seen it.

[Willow]

Bum bile.
created by my four year old this morning, then I explained what bile was.

[Dobermonster]

^ Shit - that clip has been blocked in the UK by those miserable tight-arsed bastards at Channel 4.

This might be the video (its bad quality though).

That's the one, yeah. Bad quality, but watchable.

I personally love Charlie Brookers style of insulting people. Here is another one for you if you haven't already seen it.

Same. He's one of my favorite comedians right now.

Another gender-specific insult: "Who lit the fuse on your tampon?"

[xSilverPhinx]

Another gender-specific insult:

For men: Sheesh, that time of the month again is it?

[OldGit]

In the RAF I used to have a Wing Commander (= Lt Colonel) who would scream at other ranks, in a parade-ground voice:  "Boy, you throw a completely new light on the meaning of the word shit!  One day you're going to turn up drunk at your parents' wedding!  And those are your best points."

The Flight-Sergeant who taught us to drill was a good 'un, too.  He would scream in an Irish accent, "Mr Git, SIR, you round-shouldered weak-kneed pot-bellied excuse for an officer, SIR, swing your fucking arms SIR!"

[Non Quixote]

Another gender-specific insult:

For men: Sheesh, that time of the month again is it?

If you're saying that you're directing it at men then I'm confused.  If you are saying that to a woman and she is riding the cotton pony, it had better be a woman who is very far away.  Like have-to-take-a-plane far away. 

I once said something similar to my wife many years ago. 

Just once.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

That guy's so ugly that dogs sniff his face.

[Asmodean]

That guy's so ugly that dogs sniff his face.

Ooh! Ooh! I used that once. 

[McQ]

I like this page for generating insults, Elizabethan-style.
http://www.museangel.net/insult.html#generator

There are automated sites that do it too, but I like generating my own.

Also, for a more current insult: "If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards."

and

"You're so ugly you could make a train take a dirt road."

[The Magic Pudding]

Yar all a bunch of drongoes, except you two other there, you're a pair o' gallahs.

More traditional than creative I suppose.