Lying to Children

[DeterminedJuliet]

Why would he shoot Toby?

Stated reason: the dog was out of control and kept running into the road and might involve us in a lawsuit.

Real reason: to hurt me, as usual.

The dog was young and healthy.

That's awful 

[Tank]

Why would he shoot Toby?

Stated reason: the dog was out of control and kept running into the road and might involve us in a lawsuit.

Real reason: to hurt me, as usual.

The dog was young and healthy.

What a fucking bastard!

[En_Route]

Why would he shoot Toby?

Stated reason: the dog was out of control and kept running into the road and might involve us in a lawsuit.

Real reason: to hurt me, as usual.

The dog was young and healthy.

Sad how twisted and broken people can be and how that damage is transmitted to the next generation. I had an emotionally abusive father myself and the legacy remains, though I have largely come to terms with it. I did feel hate at the time but now I understand the demons that drove him and see he was a victim of circumstance too.

[Ali]

Why would he shoot Toby?

Stated reason: the dog was out of control and kept running into the road and might involve us in a lawsuit.

Real reason: to hurt me, as usual.

The dog was young and healthy.

((((Git)))))

also, ((((E_R))))

[Siz]

When we have to put either one of our cats down, wee man will be told what's going to happen and will be given the option of coming along. When I worked at the vet clinic, I saw a number of children say good-bye to their pets. Some of them handled it better than their parents. Our oldest cat is only 6, so it'll be a while yet, but I wouldn't lie to him about this either, I don't think.

When my daughter was about 4.5 her best friend at nursery was a little girl with mild Downs and some other underlying health problems. The little girl died and M was left a little confused, but we helped her through it with compassion and honesty. I thought it would help to take M to the funeral; she was the only pupil invited. It was a proper burial (rather than a behind-the-curtain cremation) which probably helped. I explained everything I could in terms she could relate to. She could see the emotions of the Mother which I thought might disturb her a little, but she accepted my explanations of why she was acting strangely.

A couple of years previously I'd lost my 16y/o cousin to a car crash. Several weeks after her friend's funeral M asked me about my cousin and we discussed how her death affected me. I cried. She was very sympathetic (as is her way) and I noticed an emerging empathy far beyond her years.

M sometimes talks about her friend, and the tone is always very positive and mature. There is no 'elephant in the room' when the subject of death is broached. She has developed a very healthy concept of death, and having been so close to it from an early age seems to have struck a fine balance between pragmatism and sensitivity. She couldn't have got there alone!

I noticed that 'Elephant' when chatting with the other parents, most of whom were unwilling to engage with me on the subject with their children within earshot. I know that's their parenting choice but I cant say it'd work for me or my children.

As for my son? Well, he's just more interested in Darth Maul and doesnt have the time for such frivolity...

[Asmodean]

How much? 

Well... The Asmo has been known to make some minor deals for a soul... No, wait... That was the devil...

Hmm... A hundred slaves. Yes, that should be a proper price. 

[Ali]

When we have to put either one of our cats down, wee man will be told what's going to happen and will be given the option of coming along. When I worked at the vet clinic, I saw a number of children say good-bye to their pets. Some of them handled it better than their parents. Our oldest cat is only 6, so it'll be a while yet, but I wouldn't lie to him about this either, I don't think.

When my daughter was about 4.5 her best friend at nursery was a little girl with mild Downs and some other underlying health problems. The little girl died and M was left a little confused, but we helped her through it with compassion and honesty. I thought it would help to take M to the funeral; she was the only pupil invited. It was a proper burial (rather than a behind-the-curtain cremation) which probably helped. I explained everything I could in terms she could relate to. She could see the emotions of the Mother which I thought might disturb her a little, but she accepted my explanations of why she was acting strangely.

A couple of years previously I'd lost my 16y/o cousin to a car crash. Several weeks after her friend's funeral M asked me about my cousin and we discussed how her death affected me. I cried. She was very sympathetic (as is her way) and I noticed an emerging empathy far beyond her years.

M sometimes talks about her friend, and the tone is always very positive and mature. There is no 'elephant in the room' when the subject of death is broached. She has developed a very healthy concept of death, and having been so close to it from an early age seems to have struck a fine balance between pragmatism and sensitivity. She couldn't have got there alone!

I noticed that 'Elephant' when chatting with the other parents, most of whom were unwilling to engage with me on the subject with their children within earshot. I know that's their parenting choice but I cant say it'd work for me or my children.

As for my son? Well, he's just more interested in Darth Maul and doesnt have the time for such frivolity...

It sounds to me like you handled it quite well and your daughter is better off for it. 

I'm also not one to "protect" my son from the reality and concept of death.  When Hubby's grandfather died, we talked to T about it and he attended the funeral.  Several people I know asked me if I was worried that it would upset him, particularly to see the adults he knows crying.  My thought is that it's okay to be sad and cry when someone dies, and I don't mind him knowing that. 

A few weeks ago, we (T & I) somehow got on the subject of my grandpa who died before T was born.  He asked me if I lived with my mom and dad whne he died, and I said no.  T got kind of teary eyed, and said something along the lines of "I'm sad that you didn't have anyone to be with you when your grandpa died."  It was so stinking sweet.  Again, empathy.

[DeterminedJuliet]

When we have to put either one of our cats down, wee man will be told what's going to happen and will be given the option of coming along. When I worked at the vet clinic, I saw a number of children say good-bye to their pets. Some of them handled it better than their parents. Our oldest cat is only 6, so it'll be a while yet, but I wouldn't lie to him about this either, I don't think.

When my daughter was about 4.5 her best friend at nursery was a little girl with mild Downs and some other underlying health problems. The little girl died and M was left a little confused, but we helped her through it with compassion and honesty. I thought it would help to take M to the funeral; she was the only pupil invited. It was a proper burial (rather than a behind-the-curtain cremation) which probably helped. I explained everything I could in terms she could relate to. She could see the emotions of the Mother which I thought might disturb her a little, but she accepted my explanations of why she was acting strangely.

A couple of years previously I'd lost my 16y/o cousin to a car crash. Several weeks after her friend's funeral M asked me about my cousin and we discussed how her death affected me. I cried. She was very sympathetic (as is her way) and I noticed an emerging empathy far beyond her years.

M sometimes talks about her friend, and the tone is always very positive and mature. There is no 'elephant in the room' when the subject of death is broached. She has developed a very healthy concept of death, and having been so close to it from an early age seems to have struck a fine balance between pragmatism and sensitivity. She couldn't have got there alone!

I noticed that 'Elephant' when chatting with the other parents, most of whom were unwilling to engage with me on the subject with their children within earshot. I know that's their parenting choice but I cant say it'd work for me or my children.

As for my son? Well, he's just more interested in Darth Maul and doesnt have the time for such frivolity...

It sounds to me like you handled it quite well and your daughter is better off for it. 

I'm also not one to "protect" my son from the reality and concept of death.  When Hubby's grandfather died, we talked to T about it and he attended the funeral.  Several people I know asked me if I was worried that it would upset him, particularly to see the adults he knows crying.  My thought is that it's okay to be sad and cry when someone dies, and I don't mind him knowing that. 

A few weeks ago, we (T & I) somehow got on the subject of my grandpa who died before T was born.  He asked me if I lived with my mom and dad whne he died, and I said no.  T got kind of teary eyed, and said something along the lines of "I'm sad that you didn't have anyone to be with you when your grandpa died."  It was so stinking sweet.  Again, empathy.

These are both sweet stories. I know some adults who were completely sheltered from death as children and they seem to have a much harder time processing it now. Of course, it's always going to suck when a loved one dies, but I think there's a tendency in our society to set death up as something that's "unnatural."

[Sweetdeath]

Real reason: to hurt me, as usual.

Has FSM refused to hear your pleas for vengeance? Because The Asmo could listen... For a price 

Is it just money you want or other material things? 

[Asmodean]

Is it just money you want or other material things? 

Slaves. Lotsa' them. 

[Sweetdeath]

Is it just money you want or other material things? 

Slaves. Lotsa' them. 

I want to be a minion. Or at least a mode of transportation: PONY STYLE >D

[Asmodean]

Dye that mane gray and... Yes, yes, why not...

[Sweetdeath]

Dye that mane gray and... Yes, yes, why not...

Maybe someone with awesome photoshop skills *COUGHPUDDINGORBUDHORSE* could do my mane gray.

[Dobermonster]

Is it just money you want or other material things? 

Slaves. Lotsa' them. 

I have one, but she has a habit of strangling her amorphous blob overlords.

[Buddy]

Dye that mane gray and... Yes, yes, why not...

Maybe someone with awesome photoshop skills *COUGHPUDDINGORBUDHORSE* could do my mane gray.

Sorry, no computer. Gonna have to IOU that one.