Why Are There Gay Men?

[Sweetdeath]

I think it is genetic

I don't think it matters whether it is genetic or simply personal preference.
Consenting adults can choose to do whatever they like as long as they are not harming others. It is not of my business what people get upto in the bedroom and they certainly don't have to explain to me why that get upto whatever it is they get up to.

ITA.  I actually find the idea that people should be more tolerant of homosexuality because it's genetic to be patronizing and offensive.  Like "Don't blame them, they just can't help themselves, the poor dears."  Ugh!  It doesn't matter why a person is gay.  What matters is that it's not anyone else's business what consenting adults do or who they have a relationship with.

What Stevil and Ali said.
It doesn't matter why. All that matters are two consenting adults are able to do whatever they want in bed and in private. And if they wanna hold hands or kiss in public, oh well. I mean, gemme a break with so many damn religious brown nosers, wanting people to have boring, stale lives like them. No thanks

[Crow]

No thanks

Indeed but be wary of those that build their walls high.

[Sweetdeath]

No thanks

Indeed but be wary of those that build their walls high.

I build my walls with cardboard and duct tape

[Icarus]

I'm about as straight a guy as one could be. Because of some of my long term activities, I am acquainted with many lesbian women, some are out, some are closeted.  I have long wondered why a disproportionant number of them are such high achievers. Several of my lesbian friends, are PHD level individuals and some more of them are business executives or hold very responsible jobs or political positions. Has anyone else noticed a trend of that sort or is this merely an unusual situation that has no basis?

[Sandra Craft]

Has anyone else noticed a trend of that sort or is this merely an unusual situation that has no basis?

I think it's a co-incidence and probably has more to do with your social level than anything else.  Most of the lesbians I know are factory workers and clerks, but then that's the social level I'm at. 

[Stevil]

I'm about as straight a guy as one could be. Because of some of my long term activities, I am acquainted with many lesbian women, some are out, some are closeted.  I have long wondered why a disproportionant number of them are such high achievers. Several of my lesbian friends, are PHD level individuals and some more of them are business executives or hold very responsible jobs or political positions. Has anyone else noticed a trend of that sort or is this merely an unusual situation that has no basis?

They seem to be everywhere, damn them. Where ever I look, gay, gay, gay.

But they do seem to have some commonalities, liking fashion, hairstyles, musicals.
Not sure why, maybe it is the straights that are trying too hard to avoid stereotypically "feminine" things.

[Asmodean]

maybe it is the straights that are trying too hard to avoid stereotypically "feminine" things.

Why would someone try to avoid some stupid ass stereotype?  ???

[Stevil]

maybe it is the straights that are trying too hard to avoid stereotypically "feminine" things.

Why would someone try to avoid some stupid ass stereotype?  ???

People do,

Many guys won't wear pink, won't knit or sew, there are many guys who won't change diapers, won't even cook, won't listen to opera, musicals or watch ballet.

Many guys feel threatened or de-masculated doing certain things.
Image and social norms is hard for many to resist. Why is it that coffee is the choice of drink rather than tea or hot chocolate? Why do guys drink Beer and women Wine? Why is Coke cool and Fanta for kids?
Why do we celebrate with Champagne or propose with diamonds?

Are you 100% impervious to image?

[Crow]

Not sure why, maybe it is the straights that are trying too hard to avoid stereotypically "feminine" things.

I don't I prefer androgynous stuff, but I think there is a bit of truth to that.

Many guys won't wear pink, won't knit or sew, there are many guys who won't even cook, won't listen to opera, musicals or watch ballet.

If this is what qualified a person being gay then I would be well gay, I also were pastels:o. I would probably say that those guys are insecure about there sexuality, or just ignorant and haven't actually experienced any of it due to there insecurities about what others think of them.

[Stevil]

If this is what qualified a person being gay then I would be well gay, I also were pastels:o. I would probably say that those guys are insecure about there sexuality, or just ignorant and haven't actually experienced any of it due to there insecurities about what others think of them.

Some cultures value macho-ness, as a quality of a true man :-)

NZ is caught up in this. Our Rugby players are almost god-like, big strong brutes, smashing down the opposition.
I feel Macho is very much a part of the Maori culture and has influenced NZ culture. I'm not sure how much exposure you have had to the Maori culture but they value aggressiveness, strength and fight. The pōwhiri (pronounce Po Firi) often has a Maori male dressed in battle attire, carrying a taiaha spear (pronounced tie aha) a weapon, brandishing, having aggressive looks (starey eyes, poking tongue) speaking aggressively, coming at you. It can be very intimidating if you don't know that it is a welcome.
Quite different to Samoan or Tongan culture which seems much more passive.

[Sweetdeath]

maybe it is the straights that are trying too hard to avoid stereotypically "feminine" things.

Why would someone try to avoid some stupid ass stereotype?  ???

No fucking idea.  ???

[Asmodean]

People do

...Apparently.

Many guys won't wear pink

If you can make it look good - go for it, is what I say. Have pink shoes. Very cool.

won't knit or sew

Can relate, but the only reason is I find it rather boring.

there are many guys who won't change diapers

Ugh..! No dirty jobs, thanks.

won't even cook

I cook. I can cancer-fry meat based products and microwave-irradiate heat-and-go foods. That's cooking. It IS.

won't listen to opera, musicals or watch ballet

Tried that opera thing once... Didn't like it. Too much touchy-feely romance. Same goes for the one, maybe two musicals I've watched... Ballet? Probably more of the same, although it is fun watching street dancing.

Image and social norms is hard for many to resist. Why is it that coffee is the choice of drink rather than tea or hot chocolate?

Is it though? I think most people here drink coffee rather than tea or hot chocolate, but I also think it's more a matter of getting that caffeine fix than of not deviating from the norm.

Why do guys drink Beer and women Wine? Why is Coke cool and Fanta for kids?

I find that rather unrelateable. Wine is marginally better than beer, and so in my usual company, we usually have wine when the occasion calls for alcohol. And if I do buy something with bubbles in it, it's usually an orange thing.

Why do we celebrate with Champagne or propose with diamonds?

Again, sort of unrelateable. We celebrate with pizza. No idea how people propose, but I think gold is rather popular.

Are you 100% impervious to image?

You tell me...

How straight and manly and stereotypical am I?

[Stevil]

there are many guys who won't change diapers

Ugh..! No dirty jobs, thanks.

You don't have to like it to do it.
My wife took time off work to look after the young kids, when I am home, I do as much of this as possible to give her a break from it.
My father brags that he has never done it. I find this sad, I feel sorry for my mother sometimes.

won't listen to opera, musicals or watch ballet

Tried that opera thing once... Didn't like it. Too much touchy-feely romance. Same goes for the one, maybe two musicals I've watched... Ballet? Probably more of the same, although it is fun watching street dancing.

I like Sarah Brightman, I also like symphonic metal, Nightwish, Within Temptation...

Image and social norms is hard for many to resist. Why is it that coffee is the choice of drink rather than tea or hot chocolate?

Is it though? I think most people here drink coffee rather than tea or hot chocolate, but I also think it's more a matter of getting that caffeine fix than of not deviating from the norm.

I never drink coffee, can't stand it. I notice that I get a few looks at work when I ask for Hot Chocolate rather than coffee.

Why do guys drink Beer and women Wine? Why is Coke cool and Fanta for kids?

I find that rather unrelateable. Wine is marginally better than beer, and so in my usual company, we usually have wine when the occasion calls for alcohol. And if I do buy something with bubbles in it, it's usually an orange thing.

I can't stand wine, and notice that at formal do's they seem to provide wine and not beer, the suggestion is that wine is more refined. To me it is just a different flavour, I don't buy into the image that marketing and advertise would have you live your life by.

How straight and manly and stereotypical am I?

I don't know you well enough to answer that. I certainly fall for some image stuff myself, I am not immune. I think most people fall for it to some degree. You do have an image though, I've seen your Emo photo.

[Sweetdeath]

I love men who dont put 'gender' to color.
color is color. I never fucking got the pink thing. In asian tho, it's more than normal to see lots of guys, young and old , dressed in pink.

[Asmodean]

You do have an image though, I've seen your Emo photo.

I'm just wearing eyeliner and a Korn hoodie in it. Why..? Because I really like what I see in the mirror when I go for that look. There is no image attached to it from my side. How others see it is, frankly, their business. I'm too icy and emotionless for any kind of emo-label in my own opinion.