Funny Stories from Your Past

[DeterminedJuliet]

Speaking of sex, and getting back on topic, I once called someone the wrong name during sex. Funny now. Slightly less than funny at the time. 

Heeheeeheee, me too! 

Bahaha! Awesome. Here I was thinking that it only happened to me and people in movies.

[Asmodean]

Eh... I've done that on occasion myself. It goes both ways with me though... I've been mixed up with someone else a time or two and yes, alcohol was involved.

[Magdalena]

Eh... I've done that on occasion myself. It goes both ways with me though... I've been mixed up with someone else a time or two and yes, alcohol was involved.

Wait, I don't understand, please explain this to me,
What other gray and lumpy substance could someone possibly confuse you with? At that moment, the only other thing I would confuse you with would be with that beige bumpy stuff on my ceiling that looks like popcorn or cottage cheese. I wouldn't even know what else to call you, "Oh, yes, yes, your infernal beige-ness?" Would this dissapoint you? 

[Asmodean]

Ah, but you see, drunk people have been known to confuse The Asmo with tennis balls, those sack-o-somethingorother chairs, elephant droppings ( ) and bicycle helmets.

Vengeance, however, is and shall be Asmo's. 

[Hector Valdez]

Wait, you mean your NOT a rugby ball?!!! 

Lessee, what embarrasing moments could I discuss? Well, there's that time that my girlfriend found my hentai collection. Strangely enough, she seemed more bemused than upset. 

[Ali]

Hentai collection?  Am I totally off base, or isn't hentai what they use to make those hippy dippy fake tattoos?  ???

[Hector Valdez]

No. It's fairly raunchy Japanese animated pornography. Proudly watched by perverts everywhere.

[Firebird]

You're thinking of henna. Very different from hentai 

[Amicale]

Stories from my childhood: Or, how I'm unlucky around water.

Story 1: I'm about 8 years old, and my parents and I are visiting Michigan. Beautiful little area, very woodsy, lots of trees and a nice little pond. My dad and I wander down to check out the pond. There are two absolutely gorgeous swans swimming around. Dad gets all happy and starts taking pictures of them and watching them. I get all happy, and wander to the edge of the pond to say hello. Then I waded in to say hello up close.  Turns out, swans don't especially WANT to be petted or viewed up close and coo'ed over. Mrs Swan starts freaking out, flapping her wings and swimming away. Little me goes deeper into the pond up to my waist. (yes, I was an idiot.) Mr. Swan then opens his wings wide, hisses at me, and charges me at full speed. I'm running out of the pond as fast as I can, screaming "daddy, save me!" and my dad is... well, doing what all good dads do: laughing hysterically and snapping pictures as I flee for my dumb little life.

Story 2: I'm 10 or 11, and with a friend up at her house near a river. My task: jump off her dock into her boat so we can go for a ride. The gap between the dock and the boat is about 2 and a half feet. My friend hops into the boat no problem, and reaches out her hand and tells me to jump in, too. I take a running leap off the dock... and land IN the river, between the dock and the boat.  At this point, I'm soaking wet, I'm bawling my eyes out because I skinned my knee on the rocks at the river's bottom, I'm scared, and I'm so clumsy I can't get up onto the boat or the dock, so I'm stuck. My aunt comes running down the lawn to the dock. My friend's dad starts snapping pictures, giggling helplessly. (What IS it with men, laughter, and cameras?!?    ) The famous photo in my family is of my aunt's behind, raised high in the air as she faces away from the camera, and is trying to drag me out of the river. Which I might add was maybe only thigh deep. Had I stopped panicking, I could have walked to the bank and climbed out. 

[Ali]

Haha Amicale.  I am a clutz too, so I totally relate to your falling in the water story. 

[DeterminedJuliet]

No. It's fairly raunchy Japanese animated pornography. Proudly watched by perverts everywhere.

There's a lot of weird tentacle sex. See! It even has it's own meme. (may not be SFW)

[Amicale]

When I was in grad school in a small town, someone (I'd assume a teenager or drunk college student, heh) wrote "I love tentacle porn" in spraypaint across the side wall of the Salvation Army church. The church didn't bother having it scrubbed off for at least two months... so we started calling it 'The Church of the Tentacle Porn'.

[Hector Valdez]

No, you misunderstand, I'm into the really raunchy stuff.