Author Topic: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!  (Read 5460 times)

Ali

  • Knows where her towel is.
  • Wears a Colander Hat for Special Occasions
  • *****
  • Posts: 6500
  • Gender: Female
  • An Equal Opportunity Mr. Hyde
Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« on: February 28, 2012, 01:45:06 AM »
I went to pick up T from daycare today, only to find a little bit of a tempest in a teapot.  The second the door opened, T barreled out yelling "Does god exist?? Does god exist??  God doesn't exist, does he Mama?"  Then a little girl there (I think she's going on 4 or 5) butts in with "Yuh-huh!  God does too exist!  He lives in our heart."

Turns out, this little girl was talking about going to church and praying to god, and T told her "God doesn't exist" and also "My mommy doesn't believe in god."  They bickered about it for a few minutes and then the little girl's mom showed up to pick her up.  She (the mom) was still waiting there to talk to me because she was "concerned."  

So fast forward back to my arrival.  I step inside, and the mom and Anna (our daycare lady) are waiting for me.  Anna looks apologetic.  She briefly explained what happened and then said "It's none of my business what anyone believes, I just don't want the kids to be arguing about this every day."  Totally reasonable.  Then the other mom says "I have NO IDEA why ANYONE would tell a small child there is no god.  But I would appreciate it if your son didn't go around saying things like that to my daughter."  I started to apologize and say that I would talk to him about respect (and I did) but then she continued to go on about how "appalled" she was that we would tell our child something like that.  

I'm very proud of myself.  I stopped apologizing, pulled myself up to my full height, and said something along the lines of "I have as much right to speak to my child honestly about my beliefs as you do to yours."  Then T and I left, and talked a lot about respecting other people's beliefs.  

Crow

  • Don't Pray in My School, and I Won't Think in Your Church
  • *****
  • Posts: 7530
  • Gender: Male
  • Retired 06/06/2016
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2012, 01:58:30 AM »
Ughh interfering self-righteous self-appreciating mothers have to be the worst form of human existence going. She had no flipping right to stick her nose into what you tell your son or how you raise him. At least the daycare lady seems level headed.
Retired member.

Sandra Craft

  • Surprisingly OK
  • Global Moderator
  • The Cure for Boredom is Curiosity. There is No Cure For Curiosity.
  • *****
  • Posts: 9562
  • Gender: Female
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 02:14:51 AM »
I'm very proud of myself.  I stopped apologizing, pulled myself up to my full height, and said something along the lines of "I have as much right to speak to my child honestly about my beliefs as you do to yours."  Then T and I left, and talked a lot about respecting other people's beliefs.  

Good for you, I think you handled that perfectly.
Sandy

  

"Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet."  Sarah Louise Delany

Amicale

  • Nerdy cat lady
  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 5484
  • Gender: Female
  • Nom nom nom
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2012, 02:18:44 AM »
Ali, I'm sorry you and T went through that, but I'm proud of you for how you handled it. :)

I also understand the daycare leaders to not want the children arguing about religion at daycare... but you were entirely right to tell that mother what you did. A is nearly 4 (in just over a month) and because she's an only child, I've tried to expose her to kids of various backgrounds and she's asked a lot of questions about their beliefs and ideas. No major public incidences, but she understands some people believe in God and some don't... so I just told her that she has lots and lots of time to decide for herself on the issue, but for now, she should just know what everyone's different and that's fine. We've read books that talk about different religious celebrations, and lots of stuff on science and nature. Anyways, all that to say that I think T is lucky to have you for a mom, Ali. He'll grow up being able to think critically, and that he's already doing that at such a young age is cool. :)


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Whitney

  • Global Moderator
  • Don't Pray in My School, and I Won't Think in Your Church
  • *****
  • Posts: 7358
  • Gender: Female
  • Mysteriously Absent - Like God
    • http://fellowshipoffreethought.org
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2012, 02:57:38 AM »
That really sucks but I think you handled it as well as possible.

I personally think it's good for little kids to kinda go back and forth on things they don't agree on; that's part of how they learn to think for themselves.  But can also see how the daycare teacher wouldn't really want to have to referee that particular subject...at least she handled it reasonably instead of siding with the other kid's mom.

Harmonie

  • Can Define Jihad
  • **
  • Posts: 569
  • Gender: Female
  • Crazy Woodwind Lady
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2012, 03:16:04 AM »
And I have no idea why anybody would tell a small child that there is a God. But wait, I do have an idea. If that's what the parents honestly believe, then they think it's in their best interest to let their children in. Likewise, when parents don't believe in God, they can do the same.

My opinions on the validity of the claim of God and whether we should really be teaching our children such a thing aside, the mother was being ridiculous. The other girl brought it up, right? So it's not T's issue for being honest. It's the other girl that shouldn't be talking about that kind of stuff, because then maybe she might not have to be oh-so-unfortunately exposed to beliefs other than hers (her parents, more like). However, I'm certain her mother wouldn't agree.

Anyway, yeah, you handled it great! I don't know what I would have done. I tend to not want to get into any conflicts about this in real life.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2012, 03:18:44 AM by Radiant »

Icon Image by Cherubunny on Tumblr
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

Anne D.

  • Was God's Anointed But Took a Shower
  • *
  • Posts: 211
  • Gender: Female
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2012, 03:22:15 AM »
Kudos, Ali.

Dobermonster

  • Touched by His Noodly Appendage
  • *****
  • Posts: 2019
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2012, 03:36:00 AM »
You handled that situation perfectly. Silly woman.

Firebird

  • Taste's like chicken
  • Touched by His Noodly Appendage
  • *****
  • Posts: 2813
  • Gender: Male
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2012, 03:47:20 AM »
Agreed, very happy that you stood up for yourself. And the image of a little kid saying that makes me smile :)
"Great, replace one book about an abusive, needy asshole with another." - Will (moderator) on replacing hotel Bibles with "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Reprobate

  • Made of Star Stuff
  • *
  • Posts: 71
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2012, 04:06:25 AM »
I went to pick up T from daycare today, only to find a little bit of a tempest in a teapot.  The second the door opened, T barreled out yelling "Does god exist?? Does god exist??  God doesn't exist, does he Mama?"  Then a little girl there (I think she's going on 4 or 5) butts in with "Yuh-huh!  God does too exist!  He lives in our heart."

Turns out, this little girl was talking about going to church and praying to god, and T told her "God doesn't exist" and also "My mommy doesn't believe in god."  They bickered about it for a few minutes and then the little girl's mom showed up to pick her up.  She (the mom) was still waiting there to talk to me because she was "concerned."  

So fast forward back to my arrival.  I step inside, and the mom and Anna (our daycare lady) are waiting for me.  Anna looks apologetic.  She briefly explained what happened and then said "It's none of my business what anyone believes, I just don't want the kids to be arguing about this every day."  Totally reasonable.  Then the other mom says "I have NO IDEA why ANYONE would tell a small child there is no god.  But I would appreciate it if your son didn't go around saying things like that to my daughter."  I started to apologize and say that I would talk to him about respect (and I did) but then she continued to go on about how "appalled" she was that we would tell our child something like that.  

I'm very proud of myself.  I stopped apologizing, pulled myself up to my full height, and said something along the lines of "I have as much right to speak to my child honestly about my beliefs as you do to yours."  Then T and I left, and talked a lot about respecting other people's beliefs.  

I think you handled your encounter pretty damned well, especially considering how it came about. I used to think that we should respect the religious beliefs of others too. I no longer feel that way. Why should we respect peoples' beliefs when those beliefs are contrary to our own values? I mainly mean beliefs that violence in god's name is acceptable and righteous, that women are inferior and should be subservient, that homosexuals or anyone who believes differently doesn't deserve to live, and that anyone has a right to force their views on others and judge them for their own beliefs. Religious beliefs, in my view are a lot like a disease, I can respect someone who has a disease without having any respect for that disease, except in the same sense that I would respect an angry grizzly bear.


Stevil

  • Simian Provocateur
  • Blessing Her Holy Hooves
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
  • My mind is a blank canvas
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2012, 06:43:46 AM »
Don't you know how much effort parents go to in order to brainwash their children into heaven?

So much effort all ruined by some godless rifraf suggesting that there might not be a god. It's going to take that mother months to get the child to stop thinking that god might not exist.


Too Few Lions

  • Living a Thoughtcrime
  • ****
  • Posts: 1005
  • utter poppycock
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2012, 10:07:56 AM »
well done Ali, and well done T for being brave enough to say what he thinks. I guess no four year old child likes to be told their invisible friend doesn't actually exist, but her mother's behaviour was appalling.

Melmoth

  • Not Sure About That Kool-Aid
  • **
  • Posts: 312
  • polymorph
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #12 on: February 28, 2012, 10:12:47 AM »
A job well done! :D I definitely don't envy parents each other's company; what an annoying woman. I'd have had a little troll voice going round my head saying, "Look, she's covered in buttons. Press them. Go on. Tell her he smokes but you think that's sort of ok because, you know, there's no God or anything. See what she does. Go on, it'll be funny."

Good thing the daycare lady was nice.
"That life has no meaning is a reason to live - moreover, the only one." - Emil Cioran.

Asmodean

  • The Grumpy Lumpy
  • Administrator
  • Luxembourg Trembles!
  • *****
  • Posts: 14660
  • The GrayGod
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2012, 10:12:56 AM »
You should get an Asmo in full leather and a vile mood for dealing with people like that.  ;D

He would stand there, looking silent but deadly, then insult everyone involved, burn every bridge still standing and then insult them again for good measure. It doesn't accomplish anything, but I've been told it's great fun to watch.  :D
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

OldGit

  • Ich em alder thene ich wes awintre and ech a lare
  • The Cure for Boredom is Curiosity. There is No Cure For Curiosity.
  • *****
  • Posts: 10857
  • Gender: Male
  • No amount of belief makes something a fact.
Re: Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!
« Reply #14 on: February 28, 2012, 10:51:27 AM »
Tricky one, Ali.  What's your home area like regarding religion?  I mean, you'd be happy to say things in an English city that you'd have to worry about in some bible-bashing American small town.  Still, I can't see how you could have acted better whatever the background.  Well done and good luck.