Author Topic: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )  (Read 157920 times)

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4350 on: May 04, 2019, 02:39:17 PM »
Heard this the other day from the lab technician. I've got to warn you though, it's really bad.

We were discussing how mosquitoes are dumb animals because with all the noise they make as they come close to suck your blood, you can hear the annoying buzzing sound they make and kill them before they feed.

She (lab technician) said that in the beginning, when all the newly created animals were lining up to be given their attributes by god, when came the mosquito's turn it said to god:

"I am small and powerless. I don't have teeth and claws like the powerful lion, or the awesome size of an elephant. How am I going to feed to sustain myself?"

"You," said god, "will feed on the blood of more powerful animals."

The mosquito was elated. It would suck the blood of those even at the top of the food chain.

"Will I be able to suck all their blood, until they are dead?"

God was annoyed with the mosquito's greediness. He thought for a moment and said, "No. Not only will you not suck all their blood but you will have to be extra careful because many will try to kill you as you do." 

The mosquito was distraught and couldn't hold back its tears. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah", it whined, and whines to this day. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how mosquitos got their annoying buzz.
Give no mercy to your fear.



Icarus

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4351 on: May 06, 2019, 01:53:23 AM »
^ A most informative explanation about  earth history Silver.  ;D

Magdalena

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4352 on: May 06, 2019, 02:27:24 AM »
Heard this the other day from the lab technician. I've got to warn you though, it's really bad.

We were discussing how mosquitoes are dumb animals because with all the noise they make as they come close to suck your blood, you can hear the annoying buzzing sound they make and kill them before they feed.

She (lab technician) said that in the beginning, when all the newly created animals were lining up to be given their attributes by god, when came the mosquito's turn it said to god:

"I am small and powerless. I don't have teeth and claws like the powerful lion, or the awesome size of an elephant. How am I going to feed to sustain myself?"

"You," said god, "will feed on the blood of more powerful animals."

The mosquito was elated. It would suck the blood of those even at the top of the food chain.

"Will I be able to suck all their blood, until they are dead?"

God was annoyed with the mosquito's greediness. He thought for a moment and said, "No. Not only will you not suck all their blood but you will have to be extra careful because many will try to kill you as you do." 

The mosquito was distraught and couldn't hold back its tears. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah", it whined, and whines to this day. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how mosquitos got their annoying buzz.
:snicker:

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4353 on: May 21, 2019, 04:48:28 PM »
My niece's latest and greatest:

What do you call a chicken with two legs?

A chicken.

:deadpan:

She gets an A for effort.
Give no mercy to your fear.



No one

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4354 on: May 21, 2019, 09:23:57 PM »
Kent Hovind, Ray Comfort, and Ken Hamm jump off a cliff. Who wins?




Society

Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4355 on: May 22, 2019, 02:59:21 AM »
Kent Hovind, Ray Comfort, and Ken Hamm jump off a cliff. Who wins?




Society


 :rofl: Indeed.

Tank

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4356 on: May 22, 2019, 12:06:16 PM »
Kent Hovind, Ray Comfort, and Ken Hamm jump off a cliff. Who wins?




Society


Yep!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Icarus

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4357 on: May 26, 2019, 05:42:59 AM »
This kid is good at what she does. Bless her heart she is charming and looks a little bit like OAC.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgKhnQHTVSQ

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4358 on: May 26, 2019, 02:25:06 PM »
My niece is getting better with the jokes she tells. Yesterday it was: What kind of dog does Count Dracula have? A Bloodhound. 
Give no mercy to your fear.