Author Topic: How many times damned are you?  (Read 432 times)

Bad Penny II

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How many times damned are you?
« on: April 17, 2019, 01:47:14 PM »
Israel Folau is a person of no consequence to me, alas he has egg ball skills so his words are newsworthy. Anyway, he warns "hell awaits drunks, homosexuals, adulterers, liars, fornicators, thieves, atheists and idolators."

No doubt this thread will extend to thirty pages at least so we should define the terms, add other damning behaviour/traits Israel didn't mention.

Drunks:  Lots of drunks say they aren't, your standard drink as measured by medical authorities is miserly small.

Homosexual: What if they don't act on their inclination?  Stephen Fry tells me most don't do anal, do you have to do anal to be damned?  Did God have women in mind too?

Adulterers, Adultery: "Extramarital sex that wilfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations."  That's Wordweb's definition, don't know if god approves of the purple bit.  Anyway I've led a pretty dull life in this regard and I'd certainly expect anyone who has enjoyed themselves more than me to be eternally punished, gruesomely.

Liars: They lie.

Fornicators: "Hallucinated sensation that insects or snakes are crawling over the skin; a common side-effect of extensive use of cocaine or amphetamines" What? Ah, no, sorry that's formication, those guys are gotta be damned though.

Fornicators, Fornication: "Voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other."  Homosexuals have only got damned once so far and the straights twice.

Thieves: They take stuff, pseudo stuff even, maybe, I don't know god's view on intellectual property.

Atheists: We know what they are.

Idolators: God doesn't like you liking other stuff because he doesn't think you'll be able to like him as much as he deserves, SO STOP LIKING OTHER STUFF, NOW!


I think I'm five times damned.

Seven

Oh come on, I'm not a,, because of,,,
If I'm going to be eternally damned I should do some more of that,
It's a bother though
Ye, we'll just have another glass of stout
Your mortal sins even out, more of one, less of another.
Ye I suppose.


« Last Edit: April 17, 2019, 02:10:25 PM by Bad Penny II »
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No one

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2019, 02:10:20 PM »
69.

Buddy

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2019, 02:16:13 PM »
420
So many good things come to those who love relentlessly - Twiddle, “White Light”

I love my car more than I love most people.

Bad Penny II

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2019, 03:31:42 PM »
I think I meant to mean in how many damned categories do you fit, not how many instances of stuff you've done you know god'd disapprove of.

If you've offended god in 420 different ways, I'd like to hear of them, for research purposes.
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Buddy

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2019, 03:44:03 PM »
Well in that case, from the list I can put

Homosexual
Fornicators
Atheist
Lying

From the bad things not on the list but in the bible,

I cut my hair
I wear multiple fabrics
I eat shellfish
So many good things come to those who love relentlessly - Twiddle, “White Light”

I love my car more than I love most people.

Davin

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2019, 03:58:51 PM »
Damned ∞

But it's all according to the god's plan.

Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

Dark Lightning

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2019, 04:01:48 PM »
1. drunks

I drank almost every day since I was 20, with exceptions like time out to sea in the Navy and a few times when I didn't drink at all for years. Didn't get drunk every day, though. What's the fun in that? I drink a 4 ounce glass of wine at night before bed now, but I woke up with a headache this morning, so I'll see what happens when I don't. Might be a synergistic combination of Tylenol, melatonin and the wine. I will figure it out and desist using the offending party. All three are recent additions. I quit drinking beer to reduce calories and the number of times I get up at night.

2. homosexuals

Fire is my paraphilia, not men

3. adulterers

I have one wife, that's trouble enough  ;D

4. liars

I never lie. Well, just this once

5. fornicators

All those women I raw dogged with before I got married enjoyed it, too. Can't give you a number, though. Ref #1

6. thieves

Do hubcaps off the neighbor's cars count?

7. atheists

Damned

8. idolators

Not guilty

I wonder how many said egg-ball player does, and if he cleverly left out beating his women?

Bad Penny II

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2019, 05:30:47 PM »
drunks
homosexuals
adulterers
liars
fornicators
thieves
atheists
idolators
hair cutters
multiple fabric wearers
shellfish eaters
Certainty disturbs me


Magdalena

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2019, 05:43:45 PM »
Yoga pants. Thugs. Witches.


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Buddy

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2019, 05:56:23 PM »
Yoga pants. Thugs. Witches.



LOL I tick seven of those boxes
So many good things come to those who love relentlessly - Twiddle, “White Light”

I love my car more than I love most people.

Davin

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2019, 06:21:25 PM »
I got six, seven if I can add in "thug," I guess I need to try harder.

Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

Magdalena

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2019, 09:14:25 PM »
The guy's shirt! (Black Lives Don't matter)
...And his hat! (Jesus is my boss)
 :picard facepalm:

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

Sandra Craft

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2019, 01:20:05 AM »
Definitely four from the original list.  Maybe five, I'm sure I must have stolen something at least once, I just can't remember what.

Maybe seven from the yoga pants list.  I'm not sure if I qualify for pot smoking, I only tried it once and didn't even get the munchies.  So I was probably smoking oregano.
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Bad Penny II

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2019, 02:06:19 AM »
LOL I tick seven of those boxes

Don't forget usury.

Quote
Lateran III decreed that persons who accepted interest on loans could receive neither the sacraments nor Christian burial.[11] Pope Clement V made the belief in the right to usury a heresy in 1311, and abolished all secular legislation which allowed it.[12] Pope Sixtus V condemned the practice of charging interest as "detestable to God and man, damned by the sacred canons, and contrary to Christian charity."

Some might say you can charge foreigners interest but God told me HE regards that as nit picky loopholery and he frowns on it; most of the time.
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Magdalena

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Re: How many times damned are you?
« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2019, 03:31:44 AM »
LOL I tick seven of those boxes

Don't forget usury.

Quote
Lateran III decreed that persons who accepted interest on loans could receive neither the sacraments nor Christian burial.[11] Pope Clement V made the belief in the right to usury a heresy in 1311, and abolished all secular legislation which allowed it.[12] Pope Sixtus V condemned the practice of charging interest as "detestable to God and man, damned by the sacred canons, and contrary to Christian charity."

Some might say you can charge foreigners interest but God told me HE regards that as nit picky loopholery and he frowns on it; most of the time.
So...Should we add, Bank Owner with High-Interest Rates, to the list of the damned?  :notsure:

drunks
homosexuals
adulterers
liars
fornicators
thieves
atheists
idolators
hair cutters
multiple fabric wearers
shellfish eaters

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant