Author Topic: Apocryphal stories  (Read 95 times)

Dave

  • Formerly known as Gloucester
  • Wears a Colander Hat for Special Occasions
  • *****
  • Posts: 6233
  • Gender: Male
Apocryphal stories
« on: June 30, 2018, 05:43:35 PM »
Quote
Apocrypha are works, usually written, of unknown authorship or of doubtful origin.
Wiki

We have probably all heard them, stories we would love to be true but . . .

Here's my first offerings:

From a colleague:
"My neighbour's dog kept crapping on my lawn, despite my complaints. I was all for scooping it up and dumping it through his letterbox - but the wife vetoed that. So I scooped it up into a paper bag and put that on the neighbour's "Welcone" mat outside his front door.

Then I rang his bell and waited until i saw him walking towards the door - when I set fire to the paper bag. Then I watched him stamping the flames out!"

Heard in the RAF, back when the UK had the "Womens' Royal Navy Service, WRNS or Wrens) before it all got integrated, a standing order was issued:
"The Chief Officer WRNS (COW) will hencforth be known as the Senior Officer WRNS (SOW)."

If true it did not really improve matters . . .

Got any to relate?
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

Bad Penny II

  • Sprach mit Zarathustra
  • ****
  • Posts: 1058
  • Nice Borderline Troll
Re: Apocryphal stories
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2018, 02:53:18 AM »
This doesn't fit your definition but it was an interesting story, apparently untrue.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_helmet
Certainty disturbs me


Dave

  • Formerly known as Gloucester
  • Wears a Colander Hat for Special Occasions
  • *****
  • Posts: 6233
  • Gender: Male
Re: Apocryphal stories
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2018, 03:26:22 AM »
This doesn't fit your definition but it was an interesting story, apparently untrue.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_helmet

Dawkins tried that on one if his progs

https://youtu.be/Isab058nfLc
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

jumbojak

  • Chandler's Pale Cock Slurper
  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 5112
  • The Iconic Iconoclast
Re: Apocryphal stories
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2018, 06:24:44 AM »
Many years ago there was a welder at Newport News Shipbuilding named Charlie who was assigned carbon arcing school. Being an older fellow who didn't want to spend any more time carbon arcing than he had to - carbon arcing is a nasty process - he didn't go. The next day he showed up at his usual area at the usual time.

Charlie's supervisor was upset and told him he needed to report to the school. Charlie refused to go so the supervisor got someone higher up the ladder to tell Charlie he had to go to school. Charlie still refused to go and was called into one of the office buildings with both supervisors.

In the office, both supervisors and the low level executive they met with told Charlie he had to go to school. In response Charlie asked for a piece of paper and proceeded to write down a phone number. He told the bosses to call that number and ask the man on the other end if he had to go to carbon arcing school.

It turns out that the number was that of Charlie's bank. The manager informed the bosses that Charlie was worth several million dollars. If he didn't want to go to carbon arcing school he didn't have to. He didn't need the job either way.
 

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub
" Please hold your high school or college math books in higher esteem than
your copy of the KJV. " - Icarus

Tank

  • Fed up with stupid.
  • Administrator
  • Excellent and Indefatigable Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 29808
  • Gender: Male
Re: Apocryphal stories
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2018, 06:51:07 AM »
Many years ago there was a welder at Newport News Shipbuilding named Charlie who was assigned carbon arcing school. Being an older fellow who didn't want to spend any more time carbon arcing than he had to - carbon arcing is a nasty process - he didn't go. The next day he showed up at his usual area at the usual time.

Charlie's supervisor was upset and told him he needed to report to the school. Charlie refused to go so the supervisor got someone higher up the ladder to tell Charlie he had to go to school. Charlie still refused to go and was called into one of the office buildings with both supervisors.

In the office, both supervisors and the low level executive they met with told Charlie he had to go to school. In response Charlie asked for a piece of paper and proceeded to write down a phone number. He told the bosses to call that number and ask the man on the other end if he had to go to carbon arcing school.

It turns out that the number was that of Charlie's bank. The manager informed the bosses that Charlie was worth several million dollars. If he didn't want to go to carbon arcing school he didn't have to. He didn't need the job either way.

It's nice when your bosses can't hold your job over your head :)
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.