Author Topic: "Life Coaches"  (Read 1452 times)

xSilverPhinx

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"Life Coaches"
« on: March 20, 2018, 11:51:56 AM »
My brother wants to hire a "life coach" to help him put his life in order. This worries me because my brother is a vulnerable person who has a hard time seeing malice in people, and a lot of difficulty saying 'no'. True story, he once bought an expensive pair of shorts that he really didn't want because the salesperson was pushy. We didn't hear the end of it for a long time.  ::)

He also struggles with depression and has said that therapy and medication aren't helping him. We've urged him to try another psychiatrist but he firmly believes that taking this new route will alleviate whatever he feels is wrong in his life.

I do not have anything good to say about the proposed 'profession' or the individuals that call themselves 'life coaches'. They are, in my opinion, much like self-help books: they sell quick, easy, almost miraculous solution to problems, and consumers become hooked on these.

Thoughts?
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No one

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2018, 12:06:20 PM »
Without divulging too much, where is your brother's life out of order? Are there not meetings of those in the same boat?

xSilverPhinx

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2018, 12:36:23 PM »
He suffers from depression since a very young age and lives with associated symptoms such as not finding any joy in anything he does and not seeking to change that. He has no hobbies. He doesn't want to do anything all day besides his job, if you can call being a professional poker player a job.

He does have trouble setting reasonable goals and carrying them out, though. I just question why he would trust a life coach, who he doesn't know and who doesn't know him, to help him decide what he should do with his life. There are a lot of vultures out there looking to prey on vulnerable people.

He's 26 and doesn't have any marketable skills, but to him that doesn't matter because he "would rather die than get a regular job". He doesn't have to get a regular job, he could invest all the money he's making but that's another reason to worry, him having a person with possible ulterior motives telling him where to invest just doesn't leave me at ease.

I just worry that if something bad were to happen to him he would do something stupid.   

One thing that's positive about this is that it seems he is trying, even if to me it is misguided. He needs his medication and if therapy isn't working, then he should try another therapist. 
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No one

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2018, 12:45:59 PM »
Depression is a bitch! It can take a devastating toll. Around here at least, there are groups of people who band together even if it's only once a week to share their stories and offer support. There is help available, that isn't from snake oil dealing charlatans.

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2018, 02:13:37 PM »
I have found myself avoiding this thread, Fernsnda. Possibly too many echoes?

Non-  or under-acheiving, not holding an interest seems not unfamiliar for me. My room andvattic are full of project bits and equipment that can sit idle for weeks - I get an idea and start afresh, only to find, "I have no real reason for doing this . . ." creeping into my mind. I find myself insufficient reason to try hard.

Over my life I have sought ways to mitigate it but . . . It can sink a load of cash if you are not careful. But, if I cannot help myself perhaps I can help others? This is one of the reasons that I get involved in voluntary work.

I don't know if your brother has ever tried, or even considered, voluntary work. It can be that the realisation that others find value in you tgat this promotes self-value. But, you do have to be careful not to get sucked into others' problems or allow them to become dependent. I try to go for practical and pragmatic things, avoiding areas that might have a high negative emotional content, where I might get "swamped".

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Icarus

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2018, 11:31:43 PM »
 A life coach?  Really?  A credentialed psychiatrist, OK.  Too many self styled "life coaches" are out and out scammers.  I will add that there may be a few of them who could actually do some good.  How is one to separate the wheat from the chaff.  Life Coaches are not certified by a professional organization that has standards, central themes that have been substantiated by a lengthy history of positive results, peer reviews, and advanced education. 

I wish your brother well but I am skeptical about whether some stranger can motivate him to rearrange his ambitions, or modify his personality traits to affect better outcomes. Let us wish that it were so.
...
Incidentally xsP, there is an interesting article in the March edition of Scientific American magazine.  The  scholarly article is titled; "A Look Within".  It addresses treatments for depression, and addiction.  It also explores the prospect of measuring the right Hippocampus and other parts of the brain to link with a propensity...or not, for the ability to excel with mathematics and other complex topics.

One of the references is titled....Toward Clinically Useful Neuroimaging in Depression Treatment: Prognostic Utility Of Subgenual Cingulate Activity for Determining Depression Outcome in Therapy Across Studies,Scanners, and Patient Characteristics...................Whew!  That is a helluva title for a research paper. Obviously not for the lesser reader.  You will know what all those title words imply.




Dragonia

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2018, 12:43:16 PM »
So I'm sitting here wondering how I would feel if my sister made the same decision, to hire a life coach.....
As long as your brother can afford it, and the person is reputable, I think it could be a step forward for him. Maybe this life coach can help your brother see things from a fresh perspective and can suggest new ways to find meaning and purpose. Maybe this person could also point out, from an objective viewpoint, where he needs to modify some of his lifestyle choices, or give some unbiased wisdom and direction to him.
I think it could be a good thing, as long as he finds a good "coach".  And it would be a more "normal" person for him to bounce ideas off of, rather than a psychiatrist or doctor of some sort.
The more I think about it, if it were my sister, I would be happy for her to try this route, since she doesn't do that great of a job at life by herself.
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jumbojak

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2018, 02:19:39 PM »
I wish my oldest brother would hire a life coach...
 

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xSilverPhinx

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2018, 11:53:34 PM »
Depression is a bitch! It can take a devastating toll. Around here at least, there are groups of people who band together even if it's only once a week to share their stories and offer support. There is help available, that isn't from snake oil dealing charlatans.

I think he could use a support structure outside of his family, if only he thought the same! :sad sigh: 
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xSilverPhinx

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2018, 11:57:56 PM »
I have found myself avoiding this thread, Fernsnda. Possibly too many echoes?

Non-  or under-acheiving, not holding an interest seems not unfamiliar for me. My room andvattic are full of project bits and equipment that can sit idle for weeks - I get an idea and start afresh, only to find, "I have no real reason for doing this . . ." creeping into my mind. I find myself insufficient reason to try hard.

Over my life I have sought ways to mitigate it but . . . It can sink a load of cash if you are not careful. But, if I cannot help myself perhaps I can help others? This is one of the reasons that I get involved in voluntary work.

I don't know if your brother has ever tried, or even considered, voluntary work. It can be that the realisation that others find value in you tgat this promotes self-value. But, you do have to be careful not to get sucked into others' problems or allow them to become dependent. I try to go for practical and pragmatic things, avoiding areas that might have a high negative emotional content, where I might get "swamped".

You know, I'm a big fan of voluntary work, it most probably gets those happiness neurotransmitters flowing for most people! 
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xSilverPhinx

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2018, 12:01:27 AM »
A life coach?  Really?  A credentialed psychiatrist, OK.  Too many self styled "life coaches" are out and out scammers.  I will add that there may be a few of them who could actually do some good.  How is one to separate the wheat from the chaff.  Life Coaches are not certified by a professional organization that has standards, central themes that have been substantiated by a lengthy history of positive results, peer reviews, and advanced education. 

I wish your brother well but I am skeptical about whether some stranger can motivate him to rearrange his ambitions, or modify his personality traits to affect better outcomes. Let us wish that it were so.

Those are my fears exactly.

Quote
Incidentally xsP, there is an interesting article in the March edition of Scientific American magazine.  The  scholarly article is titled; "A Look Within".  It addresses treatments for depression, and addiction.  It also explores the prospect of measuring the right Hippocampus and other parts of the brain to link with a propensity...or not, for the ability to excel with mathematics and other complex topics.

One of the references is titled....Toward Clinically Useful Neuroimaging in Depression Treatment: Prognostic Utility Of Subgenual Cingulate Activity for Determining Depression Outcome in Therapy Across Studies,Scanners, and Patient Characteristics...................Whew!  That is a helluva title for a research paper. Obviously not for the lesser reader.  You will know what all those title words imply.

Thanks for the reference, Icarus! Can't say I am knowledgeable in the topic of the neuroanatomy of depression, but it is an area of interest. :smilenod:
 
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xSilverPhinx

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2018, 12:22:09 AM »
So I'm sitting here wondering how I would feel if my sister made the same decision, to hire a life coach.....
As long as your brother can afford it, and the person is reputable, I think it could be a step forward for him. Maybe this life coach can help your brother see things from a fresh perspective and can suggest new ways to find meaning and purpose. Maybe this person could also point out, from an objective viewpoint, where he needs to modify some of his lifestyle choices, or give some unbiased wisdom and direction to him.
I think it could be a good thing, as long as he finds a good "coach".  And it would be a more "normal" person for him to bounce ideas off of, rather than a psychiatrist or doctor of some sort.
The more I think about it, if it were my sister, I would be happy for her to try this route, since she doesn't do that great of a job at life by herself.

One of my fears is that my brother will give up therapy and his medication for someone who peddles the idea that they can offer easy solutions to some of life's problems. A good therapist or psychiatrist can offer those same insights you mentioned, though what you say about a non-therapist being a "normal" person is interesting. I don't know how he views the professionals... :notsure:

What I do know is that in the case of my brother, he wants his ideal life now. He wants to be rich now. He wants to be happy now.

He does not want to cultivate life skills which will help him in the long term, such as patience, responsible spending and investing, choosing to delay rewards so he can reap the bigger ones, or wait for a new medication to take effect. These things take time, they don't happen in a question of hours.
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xSilverPhinx

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2018, 12:32:23 AM »
I wish my oldest brother would hire a life coach...

But why a life coach, specifically?

Sorry, I guess you all can tell I just don't like the idea of strangers without credentials wanting to give people's lives direction.
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jumbojak

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2018, 04:00:26 AM »
I wish my oldest brother would hire a life coach...

But why a life coach, specifically?

Sorry, I guess you all can tell I just don't like the idea of strangers without credentials wanting to give people's lives direction.

I wish he'd do anything to get his rather large head out of his very tight ass. Honestly, I know crackheads who can keep their shit together for longer periods of time than he can. He's not dumb, not lazy, but goes off at the slightest little thing and wrecks whatever he's managed to build for himself on a biannual basis it seems. If a stranger can point out what he needs to do and has enough distance that he's able to consider what they're saying I'd call that a win. If that person happens to be a life coach instead of a therapist - because you gotta be crazy to see a therapist, right? - I'd be good with it.
 

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your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub
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hermes2015

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Re: "Life Coaches"
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2018, 04:51:33 AM »
I wonder whether family interventions can do some good in these situations.