The Closer We Get To 1/20/17, The Less Safe I Feel

[philosoraptor]

I don't know if this is a social issue or not, but I know I'm not the only woman who has ever had an experience like this, so here we go.

There are few instances where I feel uncomfortable defending myself, but one such instance happened just the other day, and in Drumpf’s America, I fear it may happen again.

My husband was meeting up at our favorite dive bar in Atlantic City to catch up with a friend he hadn’t seen in awhile and he needed a ride. Not wishing to intrude on his guy time, I parked at the bar and walked across the street to the Tropicana casino, figuring I’d drop in at my old workplace and see if any of my former coworkers were working. None were, so I ended up just heading back the way I had came. I figured maybe I’d walk up to the beach, as I find the sight and sound of the ocean at night to be very grounding and peaceful. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it that far because I was intercepted by a bunch of drunk guys in a bachelor party.

Coming down the escalator to cut through the (deserted!) bus terminal, four guys coming up the opposite way saw me and exclaimed, “Oh my God!”  I braced myself for unpleasantries, because I’m not exactly the prettiest girl, but all they wanted was a high five. Feeling relieved, I obliged, and all four of them got a high five.  When I reached the bottom of the escalator there were more guys in the same party. I told them to be safe, but to have a few drinks for me.  One of the guys said to me, “More than a few! I’ll have a few drinks with you. Hell, I’ll have a few of you! Let’s go!”

Politely, I declined (I’m married, and also hello stranger danger), and at that point it got nasty.  I quickened my pace, but as I was walking away they heckled me and made threatening comments and all I could do was pray that I could make it to the door and outside where there were at least a few bus drivers because I didn’t want to open my mouth and say the wrong thing and have them make good on those threats.  My fear was only compounded by the fact that a few years previously, at the 7-11 on the same block, a guy went from hitting on me to threatening to stab me when I told him I wasn’t interested.  Atlantic City has the second highest rate of violent crime in New Jersey, so the thought that anyone you encounter might be carrying a gun or a knife is always at the back of my mind.

Thankfully, I made it across the street to the bar where my husband and his friend were, and I told them what happened. The bartender knows us pretty well and he offered to go out and tell them to fuck off, but I told him not to bother as they had probably already disappeared into the casino.  Nothing bad happened, but it could’ve, and that is what scares me.  I’m unemployed and I’ve got $5 to my name, I can’t afford pepper spray or self-defense classes.  If it happens again and it goes much further south, I don’t know what I could do.  I just hate feeling so unsafe in the only city that has ever felt like home to me.  I don’t want to leave Atlantic City, but I’m feeling increasingly unsafe just living in America right now.

[Dave]

I am sorry to read of your experience and, probably justified, fear PR.

From the tales and attitudes in another, 90% Anerican, atheist forum I got the idea that all those violent confrontations in public places we see in the movies, and on TV,  are not an unaccurate depiction of American life.

None of those on that forum were women beaters (at least they spoke against it) but all if them seemed to just accept violence as a part of life. Many were "open carry" gun supporters and spoke as if this was the only way of "taming" society, of getting respect.

Is it something in American education or just a national characteristic? Is it copy-cat thing, "get-your-defence-in-first" mentailty, or what?

You could not pay me to emmigrate to America, it's no El Salvador but . . .

[Magdalena]

... it's no El Salvador but . . .

I hear you. We are a violent bunch...sad to say. 
I actually hurled one of these

at Dedge last night. 
I feel bad because I did that and because I didn't get banned, and on top of that he said I was gonna go to heaven. 

[Firebird]

Sorry to hear that,  sounds awful,  like one of those stories on the Pantsuit Nation Facebook group.  I just can't wrap my head around the fact that more than half the white women voted for Drumpf. They really just hated Hillary so much that they would vote for the big orange oaf? My boss (female) has a brother who voted Trump, as did his wife, and her theory was that most of these women are married to alpha males who are pro Trump and just go along with what they say.
Gloucester, not everywhere in the US is like that. I'm in the northeast and only know one gun owner,  a cousin I barely ever see, and it is nowhere near as dangerous as you may have seen. But my wife and her family were just as worried when she was moving here specifically because of what they show in TV.

[Dragonia]

Philosoraptor, that sucks that you had that scary experience. I might've peed my pants.... I tend to be a scaredy cat when I'm alone at night, faced with a rowdy group of drinking men. Group mentality and all....people get pretty stupid.
I hope that our country continues on its trend of ever-increasing acceptance of diversity and gender sensitivity. But there will always be people who act like cavemen. No matter who the president is, no matter what era we live in. I just share your hope that having DT as our leader doesn't encourage those with a predisposition to meanness or idiocy to let it all hang out.

[Davin]

It seems like it's a tough fight to get our society to where it should be, where everyone can feel relatively safe walking about.

What also scares me is that crime rates increase when there are more poor and unemployed. Which is what is going to happen once the Trump administration gets into full swing. They will baby corporations and the wealthy even more at the expense of everyone else. And that includes the people that were duped into voting for him.

I wish I could rely on Trump's incompetence, that he will be a lame duck president, but I doubt that people like the Koch Bros. will let such a malleable president go to waste. They are already getting ready to get rid of net neutrality which is very bad for everyone except ISPs. They want to repeal the ACA without a replacement, not even a shittier one. Income inequality is higher than it was before the stock market failure that triggered the Great Depression int he 1930's. Small and medium businesses are failing more often, and corporations are getting closer to monopolies. Another huge crash, one worse than 2008 and probably closer to the Great Depression is coming soon if things keep going the way they are going.

Another thing that scares me, is that Trump clearly has been helped by the Russian government, and is has been reported that US spies have warned Israel not to share intelligence because it might get back to Russia, Well that's great because what does that mean about the information gathered by our government illegally invading our privacy? Is the US going to become like Fcebook, selling our private information to profit a failure of a business man? Well that makes me feel a lot less safe.

[Pasta Chick]

Gun culture depends largely on where you're located. I'm an hour or two from FB depending on traffic and most people here have guns. Generally just for hunting. BF and were half joking about shooting a possum that kept ripping out the fencing to dig under our house (you cannot relocate, it's illegal) which is also illegal but most likely our neighbors would come over with beer to see if we actually got the fucker. (Predictable spoiler: one of my dogs killed it)

So far I haven't seen much hate toward women. I feel more like things are going to stagnate there. Racism, on the other hand, is out of control. And people are definitely more comfortable talking about it. Even non-political radio shows have become almost unbearable - I usually listen to an R&B/rap station these days because they're the only ones not whining about those uppity minorities.

[Firebird]

It seems like it's a tough fight to get our society to where it should be, where everyone can feel relatively safe walking about.

What also scares me is that crime rates increase when there are more poor and unemployed. Which is what is going to happen once the Trump administration gets into full swing. They will baby corporations and the wealthy even more at the expense of everyone else. And that includes the people that were duped into voting for him.

I wish I could rely on Trump's incompetence, that he will be a lame duck president, but I doubt that people like the Koch Bros. will let such a malleable president go to waste. They are already getting ready to get rid of net neutrality which is very bad for everyone except ISPs. They want to repeal the ACA without a replacement, not even a shittier one. Income inequality is higher than it was before the stock market failure that triggered the Great Depression int he 1930's. Small and medium businesses are failing more often, and corporations are getting closer to monopolies. Another huge crash, one worse than 2008 and probably closer to the Great Depression is coming soon if things keep going the way they are going.

Another thing that scares me, is that Trump clearly has been helped by the Russian government, and is has been reported that US spies have warned Israel not to share intelligence because it might get back to Russia, Well that's great because what does that mean about the information gathered by our government illegally invading our privacy? Is the US going to become like Fcebook, selling our private information to profit a failure of a business man? Well that makes me feel a lot less safe.

I swear I'm not trying to pick a fight, but I'm curious: Now that Trump was elected, do you feel any differently about how you voted?

[Asmodean]

I can’t afford pepper spray or self-defense classes.  If it happens again and it goes much further south, I don’t know what I could do.  I just hate feeling so unsafe in the only city that has ever felt like home to me.  I don’t want to leave Atlantic City, but I’m feeling increasingly unsafe just living in America right now.

Just not being in a bad situation doesn't always work either. Unfortunately, there is no simple answer.

In a perfect world, any individual would be able to walk about pretty much everywhere without fear of being harassed, mugged or otherwise wronged. That is not the world in which we live.

People also tend to feel brave enough to do in groups that, which they would not more than consider doing alone - if that. Doesn't really help the issue, does it?

Human nature sucks... I guess you could take some solace in the fact that you are not an openly-homosexual openly-Jewish man in Uganda.

[Davin]

It seems like it's a tough fight to get our society to where it should be, where everyone can feel relatively safe walking about.

What also scares me is that crime rates increase when there are more poor and unemployed. Which is what is going to happen once the Trump administration gets into full swing. They will baby corporations and the wealthy even more at the expense of everyone else. And that includes the people that were duped into voting for him.

I wish I could rely on Trump's incompetence, that he will be a lame duck president, but I doubt that people like the Koch Bros. will let such a malleable president go to waste. They are already getting ready to get rid of net neutrality which is very bad for everyone except ISPs. They want to repeal the ACA without a replacement, not even a shittier one. Income inequality is higher than it was before the stock market failure that triggered the Great Depression int he 1930's. Small and medium businesses are failing more often, and corporations are getting closer to monopolies. Another huge crash, one worse than 2008 and probably closer to the Great Depression is coming soon if things keep going the way they are going.

Another thing that scares me, is that Trump clearly has been helped by the Russian government, and is has been reported that US spies have warned Israel not to share intelligence because it might get back to Russia, Well that's great because what does that mean about the information gathered by our government illegally invading our privacy? Is the US going to become like Fcebook, selling our private information to profit a failure of a business man? Well that makes me feel a lot less safe.

I swear I'm not trying to pick a fight, but I'm curious: Now that Trump was elected, do you feel any differently about how you voted?

No. Why would I?

[No one]

Little doggies like to bark all day, but hardly ever leave the porch to bite. The little dogs grow big balls when in a pack. Remember, you can always use your vehicle as a weapon. Hit that fucker with it, then back up and park on his fucking chest! Then, get out, open you trunk, pull out your tire iron, and smash his skull until his tiny brain is smeared all over the blacktop. If that is not an option, remember, eyes, throat and groin. My philosophy, if you come at me, I assume you want to kill me, and if I am dying today, I am going to do my best to take your fucking ass with me.

Hope that helps. 

[Firebird]

No. Why would I?

You seem extremely concerned about what will happen with Trump, much more so than I remember before the election. And it seems like part of Clinton's issue was generating turnout and dispelling the notion that Trump was a much more serious threat than her, which we indirectly argued about.

[Davin]

No. Why would I?

You seem extremely concerned about what will happen with Trump, much more so than I remember before the election. And it seems like part of Clinton's issue was generating turnout and dispelling the notion that Trump was a much more serious threat than her, which we indirectly argued about.

What do your inaccurate seemings and apparently not all encompassing memory have to do with what we're talking about?

And it appears that you didn't and still don't understand my side of that discussion.

I still think that Hillary would not have been the best choice, and would not have been great for America, but out of the people willing to put their hat in the ring for the presidency, she was the best option. As for Trump, most of what is scary, is the not just him, but all the other Republicans that got voted in. Trump on his own is worse than Hillary, but Trump with the group of unethical people working hard to hurt 99% of Americans for the sake of 1% of the country, now that's something to worry about. And soon, all three branches of the government are going to be made up of a majority of those willing to sell out most Americans.

But still, out of all that, what does that have to do with how I voted and how I feel about it? Just come out with it already.

[Magdalena]

I must say that I really enjoy watching you two, (Firebird and Davin) talk about things. 
If we had Pay-per-view-debates here, I would pay to watch. 
You're both excellent.

[Firebird]

But still, out of all that, what does that have to do with how I voted and how I feel about it? Just come out with it already.

I was merely curious because of how heated things got with us before. I'm not trying to score any points, nor do I think we should act like we're on different sides here.

What do your inaccurate seemings and apparently not all encompassing memory have to do with what we're talking about?

But apparently all I'm doing is touching a nerve, so I'll just back off. No need to direct energy away from the real problem, which we do agree on.

Sorry Mags, no fireworks today