Merged: Autism; Life as an Autistic

[Davin]

I don't know how much of that statement lies in analogy so maybe mine isn't as similar as I think it is, but I didn't realise for a long time that people couldn't follow my logical path. I've turned that into a form of humor to make social situations less awkward for other people. One of the major breakthroughs for me was finding out that people assume more into what I say than what I say.

Becoming aware that people do that, has helped my ability to communicate, but also causes a problem in personal relationships which requires a lot of balancing. My last ex was always upset that I would sit and think about things before I said them and wanted me to respond quicker, but when I did respond quicker, I couldn't account for all the common incorrect assumptions that she made and would end up getting into more trouble. She also seemed to not understand that I didn't assume more into her statements than what she said.

Those communication issues are still my greatest difficulty, mostly because there seems to be a good amount of intuition in the hidden meaning behind how a person says a thing. There are times when it's very obvious, but for me, there is a greater amount that I miss that most people find obvious.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Hector and Davin, neither of you seem to have a very severe case of autism.  Nothing unusual comes across in your communication.  You sound (or read) pretty much like everyone else.  Most autistics that I have known could not communicate on your level, period.  So I guess there is a pretty broad spectrum of autistic related disorders, from very mild to severe.

Also, I agree totally that no one is completely normal and that everyone has some sort of condition or attribute that would put them below average in that particular category, whether physically, emotionally or intellectually.  We're all disabled, to a degree, and we all have to learn to live with our deficits.  So, that puts us all in the same boat, to a degree.     

[xSilverPhinx]

I'm curious, how did you find out?

[Davin]

Aye, I've been alive for a while. I've also known about my autism for over almost eight years and had about the same amount of time with behavioral therapists. You should have seen me growing up to ten years ago and I gaurantee that your assessment would've been a lot different, even if you only communicated with me through text. My autism is not very severe, but it's not exactly mild either, I've just gotten really good at acting more like NTs. In short: your inability to detect austism says nothing of the severity of it.

I found out after tests and evaluations over the period of about two years.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

In short: your inability to detect austism says nothing of the severity of it.

Interesting. So, I suppose I would have to meet you to detect it?  In a face-to-face meeting, would there be any cues or clues?

[Davin]

For the majority of people I meet now, there are no flags. The more observant seem to notice that my facial gestures don't use all the face muscles that most people use. Another noticeable difference is that I tend to play with objects in my hands nearly constantly. Another thing is that most people move a tiny bit every once in a while while standing and talking and most of the time I remain motionless unless I remember to move.

For the bigger flags, that takes more uncommon social situations. Which is why most people wouldn't even notice. Also, keep in mind that these things as described are not that abnormal for NTs, the reason it takes so long to confirm a diagnosis of high functioning autism is because of the aggregate over individual quirks.

So unless you tried to get personal, I doubt you would even think of me as autistic. Which is one of the huge problems I have to deal with with people. It seems that most NTs think that unless there is a huge "autistic" sign pinned to my back or a completely obvious set of behaviors, that I am just fine or not that severe. But keeping up a more normal appearance is a shit load of work that takes a lot of practice, energy, concentration and knowledge.

[xSilverPhinx]

I guess one thing that goes on with adult high functioning autistics of at least average intelligence is that they have had years to learn how to be more like a NT. I've seen people deny a diagnosis because an adult acts in a very different way to a child with the same disorders. 

[Davin]

Yeah, that is a big issue, and another reason why many an adult diagnosis takes several years.

[DeterminedJuliet]

Very interesting insight, Davin. Thank you for sharing.