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Community => Life As An Atheist => Topic started by: Tank on January 12, 2017, 01:18:21 PM

Title: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 12, 2017, 01:18:21 PM
Would you buy this car?

Hi! I have a great car. It's the best car there has ever been made.
Can I see the car please?
No! But trust me it's the best car ever made!
Have you seen the car?
Yes. It is beautiful!
Where is the car?
In my head!
Pardon. Did you say in your head?
Yes. It was marvellous I saw it when I went to the showroom last Sunday with all the other car salesmen.
But the car was there?
No. I saw it in my minds eye. It was so beautiful.
OK. How much does it cost?
Oh it's free. You just have to join the sales team.
So if I join the sales team I get a free car?
Yes. But you need to pay a subscription to join the team. It's not much just 10% of your earnings.
Ok. So I join the sales team and get a free car, but I have to pay a subscription?
Yes.
Ok. When do I get the car?
When you die.
What the fuck?
I have the owners manual and it says you get the greatest car ever built, for free, subject to a weekly subscription to be on the sales team, when you die.
Please leave.

At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.
Well imagine it's a preacher trying to sell you a religion and you'll see why I'm an atheist.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Bad Penny II on January 12, 2017, 01:37:45 PM
At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.

Not so hasty Mr Presumption.
What colours does it come in?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on January 12, 2017, 02:21:28 PM
Would you buy this car?

Hi! I have a great car. It's the best car there has ever been made.
Can I see the car please?
No! But trust me it's the best car ever made!
Have you seen the car?
Yes. It is beautiful!
Where is the car?
In my head!
Pardon. Did you say in your head?
Yes. It was marvellous I saw it when I went to the showroom last Sunday with all the other car salesmen.
But the car was there?
No. I saw it in my minds eye. It was so beautiful.
OK. How much does it cost?
Oh it's free. You just have to join the sales team.
So if I join the sales team I get a free car?
Yes. But you need to pay a subscription to join the team. It's not much just 10% of your earnings.
Ok. So I join the sales team and get a free car, but I have to pay a subscription?
Yes.
Ok. When do I get the car?
When you die.
What the fuck?
I have the owners manual and it says you get the greatest car ever built, for free, subject to a weekly subscription to be on the sales team, when you die.
Please leave.

At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.
Well imagine it's a preacher trying to sell you a religion and you'll see why I'm an atheist.

Until I got to the "when you die" bit I thought the car salesman was Trump!

Lot of American's bought that model, despite it being made of rhetoric and fantasy.

So, yes, guess a lot will buy the other one as well . . .
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Recusant on January 12, 2017, 03:29:04 PM
Hmm, I didn't see anything about recruits being required to believe in the car.  ;)
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Arturo on January 12, 2017, 07:20:34 PM
I have a 2001 model car and I work for Uber. In May Uber will be updating the standard for all their cars under their employment to be 2002 or newer. They do this every year. Then they sent me a text saying I have to put a decal on my car because of a new state law. Uh, no thx. I know how decals get stuck to your car and the only way to get them off is to apply heat which will not only get the decal off, it will mess up your paint job.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Arturo on January 12, 2017, 07:27:28 PM

Until I got to the "when you die" bit I thought the car salesman was Trump!

Lot of American's bought that model, despite it being made of rhetoric and fantasy.

So, yes, guess a lot will buy the other one as well . . .

I think a lot of his nonsense was anecdote and that's why people bought into him. People believe things easier when it conforms to what they already think is truth. My Aunt for example, said "I think he has a lot of good ideas" and goes on to reference that Politicians only work to make a name for them self. But she doesn't know anything about Politicians besides what she sees on the news.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: No one on January 12, 2017, 07:58:43 PM
Personally, I wouldn't even so to this dealership.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 12, 2017, 08:14:47 PM
At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.

Not so hasty Mr Presumption.
What colours does it come in?
Any colour you like. Your choice. It can change colours as well. It can blend in or stand out whatever you want sir! You join the sales team and it's all yours!
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: OldGit on January 13, 2017, 09:32:40 AM
Good one, Tank!
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Bad Penny II on January 14, 2017, 08:05:30 AM
At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.

Not so hasty Mr Presumption.
What colours does it come in?
Any colour you like. Your choice. It can change colours as well. It can blend in or stand out whatever you want sir! You join the sales team and it's all yours!

Oh no, no, no this is not acceptable.
The Henry "may his tyres always be pumped" would not approve!
All cars shall be black, this colour to suit a whim is blasphemous!
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 14, 2017, 09:31:24 AM
At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.

Not so hasty Mr Presumption.
What colours does it come in?
Any colour you like. Your choice. It can change colours as well. It can blend in or stand out whatever you want sir! You join the sales team and it's all yours!

Oh no, no, no this is not acceptable.
The Henry "may his tyres always be pumped" would not approve!
All cars shall be black, this colour to suit a whim is blasphemous!

Which shade of black would you like?
Gloss, silk or matt?
Including sparkles?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Bad Penny II on January 14, 2017, 01:20:21 PM
Black is black and sparkles are anathema.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 14, 2017, 04:47:48 PM
Black is black and sparkles are anathema.
Right so dark black and matt.
Chrome trim?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on January 14, 2017, 06:53:57 PM
Black is black and sparkles are anathema.
Right so dark black and matt.
Chrome trim?
Can you do  black chrome?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: No one on January 14, 2017, 07:25:31 PM
(http://forums.motortrend.com/_siteconfigs/_global/images/community/bbcode/icon_quote.gif) Tank:
Any colour you like.

Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 14, 2017, 07:30:33 PM
Black is black and sparkles are anathema.
Right so dark black and matt.
Chrome trim?
Can you do  black chrome?
Of course :)
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on January 14, 2017, 08:37:28 PM
Black is black and sparkles are anathema.
Right so dark black and matt.
Chrome trim?
Can you do  black chrome?
Of course :)
And black sparkles?

Or am I just cherry picking the bits I want?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 14, 2017, 09:27:31 PM
Black is black and sparkles are anathema.
Right so dark black and matt.
Chrome trim?
Can you do  black chrome?
Of course :)
And black sparkles?

Or am I just cherry picking the bits I want?
I think the point is to cherry pick.
Everybody does it.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Recusant on January 15, 2017, 01:52:45 AM
Other features of the invisible car: It's more powerful than you can imagine, so powerful that it can even create its own universe. It's also equipped with the patented Moral Compass™ which, because it points in pretty much whatever direction you want it to if you look at it just right, allows you to justify whatever literally gawdawful moral judgement you like. It's some car, if you can convince yourself it exists.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 15, 2017, 06:42:36 AM
Sir another impressive feature of this car is it's ego amplifier. The amplifier connects owners together so their collective ego if amplified. Owners feel a massive sense of well being while diving the car.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on January 15, 2017, 01:44:26 PM
Does it ever break or need periodical maintenance?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on January 15, 2017, 04:50:12 PM
Does it ever break or need periodical maintenance?

Guessing it needs recharging at least once a week, whether you use it everyday or not! I have heard of some that need charging several times a day - hope it isn't one of those.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 15, 2017, 08:39:25 PM
Does it ever break or need periodical maintenance?
Of course not. It is always perfect in every way.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 15, 2017, 08:41:07 PM
Does it ever break or need periodical maintenance?

Guessing it needs recharging at least once a week, whether you use it everyday or not! I have heard of some that need charging several times a day - hope it isn't one of those.
It does not require recharging sir. It runs on Holy Spirit which is always available under all circumstances.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on January 15, 2017, 11:47:23 PM
It runs on Holy Spirit which is always available under all circumstances.

 :mb lol: So there is a ghost in the machine, hey?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 16, 2017, 06:03:17 AM
It runs on Holy Spirit which is always available under all circumstances.

 :mb lol: So there is a ghost in the machine, hey?
Angels dear, angels.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Firebird on January 16, 2017, 04:13:29 PM
Can I trade it in for something newer later on?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on January 16, 2017, 05:16:32 PM
Can I trade it in for something newer later on?
No need sir. The car adapts automatically to your desires. It can be a sports car one moment and a family van the next. Not that there are any kids where you'll be using it. And no sex either.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Skeptik on January 30, 2017, 06:20:01 AM
I bought that car for 25+ years.
Of course I was taught from birth that it was the only car there was and that if you didn't buy that car, you would be tortured for eternity.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on February 17, 2017, 10:39:32 PM
I bought that car for 25+ years.
Of course I was taught from birth that it was the only car there was and that if you didn't buy that car, you would be tortured for eternity.
Well you sold it in the end.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on February 17, 2017, 11:44:24 PM
:notsure: I consider myself to be a practical person, so I ask: Does it get me from point A to point B?

I'm told by tithers people who are pleased with the car's performance that it does get them through life. Should I go by what other people say?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on February 18, 2017, 09:17:19 AM
:notsure: I consider myself to be a practical person, so I ask: Does it get me from point A to point B?

I'm told by tithers people who are pleased with the car's performance that it does get them through life. Should I go by what other people say?
It will take you wherever you want whenever you want. There is nowhere it can't go. If you can imagine the place it can take you there. And we have billions of satisfied customers. We had satisfied customers when all we had were camels, donkeys and horses. Believe and it will be yours. But don't forget to tithe!
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Bad Penny II on February 18, 2017, 01:06:35 PM
I bought that car for 25+ years.
Of course I was taught from birth that it was the only car there was and that if you didn't buy that car, you would be tortured for eternity.
Well you sold it in the end.
I doubt the car was sold.
Maybe for scrap
I think most just dump 'em
Leave in the parent's garage
Burning, I can't disapprove
but think about the emissions
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on February 18, 2017, 01:39:06 PM
What happens if:
A) I dent this car?
B) If another dents it?
C) If I crash it going
i) forwards
ii) backwards?

What repair facilities are available? Is a "no fault" insurance option available?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on February 18, 2017, 01:42:17 PM
Don't some insurances have an "act of God" clause?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on February 18, 2017, 01:48:23 PM
What happens if:
A) I dent this car?
B) If another dents it?
C) If I crash it going
i) forwards
ii) backwards?

What repair facilities are available? Is a "no fault" insurance option available?
A) The car is self-healing and thus dent proof.
B) see A
C i) see A
   ii) see A
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on February 18, 2017, 01:57:44 PM
What happens if:
A) I dent this car?
B) If another dents it?
C) If I crash it going
i) forwards
ii) backwards?

What repair facilities are available? Is a "no fault" insurance option available?

A) The car is self-healing and thus dent proof.
B) see A
C i) see A
   ii) see A
Ah, so this car needs no services?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on February 18, 2017, 02:00:30 PM
What happens if:
A) I dent this car?
B) If another dents it?
C) If I crash it going
i) forwards
ii) backwards?

What repair facilities are available? Is a "no fault" insurance option available?

A) The car is self-healing and thus dent proof.
B) see A
C i) see A
   ii) see A
Ah, so this car needs no services?
No. It just needs your totally commitment 24/7/365(6 on leap years)
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Dave on February 18, 2017, 03:24:55 PM
What happens if:
A) I dent this car?
B) If another dents it?
C) If I crash it going
i) forwards
ii) backwards?

What repair facilities are available? Is a "no fault" insurance option available?

A) The car is self-healing and thus dent proof.
B) see A
C i) see A
   ii) see A
Ah, so this car needs no services?
No. It just needs your totally commitment 24/7/365(6 on leap years)
OK, good, so we can rededicate all the buildings previously associated with maintaining this vehicle to something useful - like public conveniences, pubs, music venues . . .
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Arturo on February 18, 2017, 06:06:18 PM
What are the taxes?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on February 18, 2017, 06:40:20 PM
What happens if:
A) I dent this car?
B) If another dents it?
C) If I crash it going
i) forwards
ii) backwards?

What repair facilities are available? Is a "no fault" insurance option available?

A) The car is self-healing and thus dent proof.
B) see A
C i) see A
   ii) see A
Ah, so this car needs no services?
No. It just needs your totally commitment 24/7/365(6 on leap years)
OK, good, so we can rededicate all the buildings previously associated with maintaining this vehicle to something useful - like public conveniences, pubs, music venues . . .
No!!!! Car showrooms would be much better.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on February 24, 2018, 06:13:25 AM
Bump!
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on March 08, 2018, 01:20:22 AM
I never asked, do the dealers of this car accept money that, like the car, cannot be seen but has to be believed in? Sort of like a credit card but without the plastic card? :grin:
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on March 08, 2018, 06:16:59 AM
I never asked, do the dealers of this car accept money that, like the car, cannot be seen but has to be believed in? Sort of like a credit card but without the plastic card? :grin:

Don't be daft!!!! These conmen want cold hard cash. :grin:
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: xSilverPhinx on March 08, 2018, 12:16:12 PM
I never asked, do the dealers of this car accept money that, like the car, cannot be seen but has to be believed in? Sort of like a credit card but without the plastic card? :grin:

Don't be daft!!!! These conmen want cold hard cash. :grin:

No imaginary money for an imaginary product, no deal!  :sulk:
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on March 01, 2019, 08:16:59 AM
Bump
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: jumbojak on March 03, 2019, 08:48:34 PM
Can it be a truck?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on March 03, 2019, 08:50:25 PM
Can it be a truck?
Could be, could be :)
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: jumbojak on March 03, 2019, 10:15:45 PM
Can it be a truck?
Could be, could be :)

Can the tailgate open to the side as well as folding down?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: jumbojak on March 05, 2019, 05:54:15 AM
Bump, Chris. I have more questions about this car...
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on March 05, 2019, 06:20:33 AM
It's actually a saloon. Sorry. But it's a wonderful, wonderful car. When you die you won't need a station wagon.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: SidewalkCynic on March 06, 2019, 07:17:15 PM
At what point would you tell the salesman to take a hike? Yes, pretty early I would think.
Right around here
Quote
Have you seen the car?
Yes. It is beautiful!
Where is the car?
In my head!

 
Well imagine it's a preacher trying to sell you a religion and you'll see why I'm an atheist.
Wow, that was a really good exercise! I never thought to use something so simple to convince atheists that I am an atheist. I really like the complimentary comments submitted by everyone - very helpful. Do you think this analogy exercise will fit nicely in my signature? I think I have been accused of being a theist, around here, like everywhere else I campaign my heretical ideas.

Quote from: Atheist Republic Declaration of Atheist Day
We wish to remind our fellow human beings that many of the most powerful ideas — ideas that changed our world — were once heretical.

http://www.atheistrepublic.com/atheist-day/declaration
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Unsapien on March 12, 2019, 03:59:42 PM
I might buy the car if my parents had both bought one and told me how great it was, and if they actually drove me to the dealership and told me that the salesman has their full trust.

Then told me that I can't come back home unless I buy the car and that I couldn't have any friends whose family didn't have the same type of car. Then I'd probably buy the car even if it had features I didn't really want. In that case I might buy it even if I didn't actually need a car.

Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Unsapien on March 12, 2019, 04:15:27 PM
Question about the car though, I've heard that once I've bought the car it will self-destruct killing me, if I ever try to get rid of it.

Is this true?

If it is true, would this be considered a bug or a feature?
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on March 12, 2019, 06:10:44 PM
I might buy the car if my parents had both bought one and told me how great it was, and if they actually drove me to the dealership and told me that the salesman has their full trust.

Then told me that I can't come back home unless I buy the car and that I couldn't have any friends whose family didn't have the same type of car. Then I'd probably buy the car even if it had features I didn't really want. In that case I might buy it even if I didn't actually need a car.

And this is how selling cars propagates itself.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Tank on March 12, 2019, 06:12:23 PM
Question about the car though, I've heard that once I've bought the car it will self-destruct killing me, if I ever try to get rid of it.

Is this true?

If it is true, would this be considered a bug or a feature?

For Christians it would be a bug. For Muslims it would be an absolute necessity.
Title: Re: Would you buy this car?
Post by: Unsapien on March 12, 2019, 09:02:44 PM

Oh it's free. You just have to join the sales team.
So if I join the sales team I get a free car?
Yes. But you need to pay a subscription to join the team. It's not much just 10% of your earnings.
Ok. So I join the sales team and get a free car, but I have to pay a subscription?


This part of the OP is a bit inaccurate. If you join the sales team, sure you might get the car free, but mostly they stay in the "dealership" a prey pray on with what comes through the door, but the dealership knows that there are many people that are weary of salesmen so they send out "associates" who are unpaid, but who are told the they could get a free car if they help bring enough people to the dealership, maybe even enough to cover the subscription fee, maybe enough the get other corporeal benefits.

 After all the dealership doesn't just sell cars...