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Getting To Know You => Ask HAF => Topic started by: xSilverPhinx on July 03, 2016, 05:47:44 PM

Title: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 03, 2016, 05:47:44 PM
I've been working on an adaptation of Macbeth for lower intermediate English language learners and would really appreciate it if some people read it and told me what they think. Corrections (grammar and word usage), suggestions and criticisms welcome. I welcome all criticisms and  suggestions, I would even like to know if you think it's not worth printing on cheap toilet paper and think I should burn it. :smilenod:

My mother read it and liked it but mothers can be more than a little biased, so...

Knowing the story beforehand is not a requirement. It's around 11 A4 pages long, so it shouldn't take up too much of your time.    :)
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: Dave on July 03, 2016, 06:11:52 PM
Willing to give it a go, Silver. Have only ever read one of Bill's jobs in college - to compare it with Branagh's movie version, but not unfamiliar with his works on video, never seen Macbeth in full though.

Be interesting to see what you have done with the English construction and use.

Even if I found it, "Not my thing" I would still offer comment. I will admit to being a fussy proof reader but will be gentle with  the "translation" where it keeps the feeling of the original.

Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: Recusant on July 03, 2016, 06:32:42 PM
I'd be willing to try.  :)
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: gentle_dissident on July 03, 2016, 07:07:36 PM
Count me in.
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: Sandra Craft on July 03, 2016, 09:36:48 PM
Sounds like fun, I'll give it a whirl.
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 03, 2016, 10:39:55 PM
Excellent! :grin:  :frolic: :grin:

:jumps:

Could you guys (and anyone else who would like to volunteer) PM me an e-mail so that I can send you the file? I'll be doing so sometime early this week.:smilenod:

Some extra info:

It's being written in prose but with plenty of dialogue, all in modern English, most of which is faithful in meaning to the original. I've left out some plot points I deemed minor, so if you're familiar with the story and think that I shouldn't have left something out then please let me know. If you aren't familiar with the story, please let me know if you feel there are plot holes or parts haven't been explained well.

It's for people who are learning English and have reached lower intermediate level. Therefore, sentence structure is simple. A glossary will be added. 
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 05, 2016, 01:22:45 AM
Almost there!

Gif ahead:

: show
(https://media.giphy.com/media/xT4uQck51Caw74VWDe/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 05, 2016, 03:51:44 AM
Sent. :grin:
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: Recusant on July 05, 2016, 04:12:01 AM
Received, thank you.  :let'seat:

Just in case any of the other readers need it, I've made a PDF version.
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: Sandra Craft on July 05, 2016, 08:54:32 AM
 Got it!  Looks juicy, but then Macbeth always does.
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 05, 2016, 11:21:05 AM
Just in case any of the other readers need it, I've made a PDF version.

Sorry about that, I was so anxious to send it to you all that I forgot to convert it to a more widely used format.
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 05, 2016, 11:22:16 AM
Got it!  Looks juicy, but then Macbeth always does.

I grew to love the story. :smilenod:
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: Sandra Craft on July 15, 2016, 07:42:47 PM
I want to thank you for doing this -- it got me to re-read Macbeth again for the first time in many years.  I didn't re-read it before making my comments, since I wanted to be as close as possible to unfamiliar with the story, and I may have been a little too close.  I had forgotten the Norwegian army was involved at all, and assumed they'd be helping out Duncan and not the rebels (so that's one comment you can strike off!).

Macbeth is so entertaining on a soap opera level -- in fact, I think between it and  Midsummer Nights Dream all the tropes are covered, if you allow  abduction by fairies to substitute for abduction by aliens. 
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 15, 2016, 09:27:27 PM
 :thumbsup:

Thank you! :bigspecs:
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on December 26, 2016, 12:22:49 PM
BCE please check your PMs! :grin:
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: No one on December 26, 2016, 03:16:18 PM
I don't think, it hurts. However, if that's not an issue, I'll contribute my two cents. (Prior to taxes, of course.)
Title: Re: Looking for volunteers (proofreading/suggestions/criticisms)
Post by: xSilverPhinx on December 26, 2016, 06:20:29 PM
Thanks offering to help No one, but editing the main body of text is no longer possible at this time. Maybe the next one? :grin: