Posting phptos of your naked children

[Siz]

A friend of mine on Facebook posted an amusing photo of his 5yo daughter who was wearing nothing but a shower cap and standing on the sink to reach the towel cupboard. There was no 'exposure' and certainly nothing that could be considered suggestive or sexual. A couple of the comments were from his friends I didn't know suggesting that he shouldnt be posting such photos. I felt compelled to argue thus:


Sheesh - It's a naked little girl - get over it! Let's not exacerbate an already ridiculous situation by perpetuating the notion that naked = sexual. It's a sad world where we are compelled - by attitudes like these - to avoid the reality of our bodies. The longer this attitude is allowed to exist - and those like it - the more we are prisoners of our own culture.    Amusing photo Rob. Love it!

I wonder what your thoughts are. Is it just a fact that in the current internet world we need to censor ourselves on theses things, or has society been so thoroughly brainwashed by media that our perception of the risk of photos being misappropriated has been distorted. Should we hide away like this, or feel free to enjoy images of our bodies in a non-sexual way?

I'd love to show you the photo - cute as it was, but I fear this might be considered a misappropriation.

[Asmodean]

If you post a decently cute pic on the Interwebs, there is always a chance that someone will steal it and wank to it or pretend to be the person on the picture. For that to happen, that person doesn't even need to be naked, but it also takes some doing on the part of the picture thief to make it into any kind of actual problem for you.

Personally, I don't mind nudity in photos, no matter the age of the person photographed and unless sex is suggested in the photo, I don't see it as sexually explicit.

A friend of mine and some of his buddies, for instance, were out skinny dipping one evening and one of them took a pic of another as he was running into the water. It was a great pic - I've rarely seen lighting like that in an amateur shot with a regular cheap ass camera, and that's how I think about it - not as "that pic of that guy's bum"

[Stevil]

It was without the child's proper consent. I doubt when the kid turns 16 he/she would be over the moon about this image floating about in cyberspace.

[Asmodean]

It was without the child's proper consent. I doubt when the kid turns 16 he/she would be over the moon about this image floating about in cyberspace.

Why would he/she even care..?

[The Magic Pudding]

I used to shower with my daughter but at some age, maybe six to eight I stopped it.
I heard her sadly ask her mother why, I don't remember the answer, probably something meaningless said in a serious tone.

Re: Posting phptos of your naked children - probably bums are OK. 
We have bath photos with lots of bubbles, my wife took them, I wouldn't have dared.

Those perversely attracted to children cost us more than the obvious, they've smeared our enjoyment of children.

[DeterminedJuliet]

I used to shower with my daughter but at some age, maybe six to eight I stopped it.
I heard her sadly ask her mother why, I don't remember the answer, probably something meaningless said in a serious tone.

Re: Posting phptos of your naked children - probably bums are OK. 
We have bath photos with lots of bubbles, my wife took them, I wouldn't have dared.

Those perversely attracted to children cost us more than the obvious, they've smeared our enjoyment of children.

I agree. I remember a few years ago there was a "scandal" because a Dad posted some pictures of himself with his kids after their bath on Facebook. There was some nudity (the children's), but nothing explicit. It was also OBVIOUS that it was bath-time - everyone was wrapped in towels, wet hair, giggling. I thought the photos were sweet, but, apparently, some people thought it made the Dad a pervert.

I feel badly for fathers. No one bats an eye if I want to cuddle with my son, that's just good mothering. But I imagine Dad's with daughters must always be a little wary of how they're perceived. At least in this day and age.

[Whitney]

I think it's important to be careful when posting any photo of a child on the internet.  I think there are lots of opportunities for cute photos that those which could be looked at in a improper way can be kept in a viewing album for family and close friends only rather than sharing it with an extended network of friends who may not be known very well.  I take a better safe than sorry approach when it comes to child safety.

Once something is on the internet it has a tendency to stick around for a long time and be passed around to people you never intended.

Being use to having to get consent for pictures with children in them in general; I'm glad you decided to not share the image because you presumably don't have consent and a non-parent sharing a nude image does start to seem a little odd considering that it's very rare to share images of other people's kids in general.

[Tank]

I think it's important to be careful when posting any photo of a child on the internet.  I think there are lots of opportunities for cute photos that those which could be looked at in a improper way can be kept in a viewing album for family and close friends only rather than sharing it with an extended network of friends who may not be known very well.  I take a better safe than sorry approach when it comes to child safety.

Once something is on the internet it has a tendency to stick around for a long time and be passed around to people you never intended.

Being use to having to get consent for pictures with children in them in general; I'm glad you decided to not share the image because you presumably don't have consent and a non-parent sharing a nude image does start to seem a little odd considering that it's very rare to share images of other people's kids in general.

^^^ This

[Stevil]

It was without the child's proper consent. I doubt when the kid turns 16 he/she would be over the moon about this image floating about in cyberspace.

Why would he/she even care..?

Teenagers can get embarrassed about their own nudity even if it was an old kiddie pic.
I'm always careful about taking photo's wondering if my kids would be happy about people looking at certain photo's of them.

[Siz]

Ok. All very reasonable.

Is the consensus then, that you are happy to post clothed pictures publicly, but not naked pictures? What about in knickers, or swim trunks? Hijabs?

I'm sure we share the same sentiments on the issue and both act accordingly. But what REALISTICALLY is the risk. Are there any statistics for misappropriation of genuinely innocent photos (as opposed to deliberately 'sexualised' images)?  I don't know either. But do you consider that the reality of the predominance of 'innocent naked photos' being abused online is somewhat different to that perceived?

I completely understand and adhere to the 'better safe than sorry' notion. But its surely a shame to be confined in this way simply because of a potentially false perception. What's the alternative if we want to preserve the innocence of our photos?  I don't suppose there is one. It's just another sickness of the modern age.

[DeterminedJuliet]

It is important to be careful (there's a reason you never see me using my son's name here) and parents should use judgement. But is the appropriate response to a parent who is maybe using less than stellar judgement to publicly shame them as a pervert? That article I mentioned, for instance - if the facebook friends of that father had looked at the pictures and said "Meh. I don't think I would have posted those pictures, but everything, realistically, looks pretty innocent." nothing would have come of it.

Instead, someone freaked, got the authorities involved and the pictures ended up being plastered all over the internet. Parents should be aware that that kind of thing can happen (and, again, I don't think I have any pictures of my son in the tub on Facebook), but pedophiles seem to be the witch hunt du jour. Just as parents should be cautious about what they post, I think everyone should be cautious about throwing "pervert" and "pedophile" towards parents.

[Firebird]

It is important to be careful (there's a reason you never see me using my son's name here) and parents should use judgement. But is the appropriate response to a parent who is maybe using less than stellar judgement to publicly shame them as a pervert? That article I mentioned, for instance - if the facebook friends of that father had looked at the pictures and said "Meh. I don't think I would have posted those pictures, but everything, realistically, looks pretty innocent." nothing would have come of it.

Instead, someone freaked, got the authorities involved and the pictures ended up being plastered all over the internet. Parents should be aware that that kind of thing can happen (and, again, I don't think I have any pictures of my son in the tub on Facebook), but pedophiles seem to be the witch hunt du jour. Just as parents should be cautious about what they post, I think everyone should be cautious about throwing "pervert" and "pedophile" towards parents.

This is a very good point. As much as I despise pedophiles, there have also been times when the authorities really went overboard. For example, there was the father who downloaded what he thought was music, found child porn, and immediately reported it to the authorities. Now he can't see his daughter (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2110921/Council-bans-daughter-contact-Nigel-Robinson-child-porn-images.html). Reporting someone as a "pervert" with knowing all the facts can really harm someone's life.
I personally don't find the images you're describing as offensive, but I do think it shows less than stellar judgement for the reasons mentioned before. Not to mention that I would not want my naked baby pictures of myself out there for everyone to see, even at my age. Just my personal preference.
Since many of you are either European or have been to Europe, what do you think of parents letting their children run around naked on the beach for everyone to see? While it doesn't bother me, I was surprised to see how common it was. I do think this is much different from posting their pictures on the internet, however.

[Asmodean]

It is important to be careful (there's a reason you never see me using my son's name here)

It is important. Even more so when talking about others. I have seen people posting information about someone else on the internet without that person's knowledge or prior approval.

I don't have kids, but as far as other people than myself go, I do not identify them by name, place of residence etc. where everyone can have access to that information unless permitted to do so. As far as posting pictures goes, to the best of my knowledge, around these parts you need the consent of everyone in focus in order to publish the pic.

[philosoraptor]

I think the advent of social media sites like Facebook have changed people's perceptions of home photography, etc...  It used to be that you only had to worry about mom busting out the old photo album for your prom date and embarrassing you with pictures of you covered in what may or may not be poop or taking a bath, etc....  Now, people create Facebooks for their babies and stuff and I find it a little weird.  As a parent, you're creating an online persona and identity for your child before they're old enough to understand how it works.  No one should have to worry about having a future prospective employer Googling them and discovering naked pictures of them as a child.

Bottom line, as an adult I'd imagine most of us would be a little ticked if our friends took pictures of us passed out with dicks drawn on our faces.  Why you'd chose to possibly embarrass your child in a similar fashion by posting naked (albeit innocent) photos, etc... is beyond me.  You don't get to decide for someone else what is or isn't embarrassing to them, and I think it's unfair to saddle kids with this before they're old enough to have a say in whether or not they're okay with those images of them being publicly available.

[Siz]

It is important to be careful (there's a reason you never see me using my son's name here) and parents should use judgement. But is the appropriate response to a parent who is maybe using less than stellar judgement to publicly shame them as a pervert? That article I mentioned, for instance - if the facebook friends of that father had looked at the pictures and said "Meh. I don't think I would have posted those pictures, but everything, realistically, looks pretty innocent." nothing would have come of it.

Instead, someone freaked, got the authorities involved and the pictures ended up being plastered all over the internet. Parents should be aware that that kind of thing can happen (and, again, I don't think I have any pictures of my son in the tub on Facebook), but pedophiles seem to be the witch hunt du jour. Just as parents should be cautious about what they post, I think everyone should be cautious about throwing "pervert" and "pedophile" towards parents.

Quite right.

And I do wonder if it's the social stigma of being seen to be sympathising with pedophiles that forces some erstwhile rational people to over-compensate - and cry 'better safe than sorry' and 'shoot first, ask questions later'.

While I am forced to tow the line in accordance with socially acceptable public best-practice, I do not live in fear of being labelled simply because I loudly and proudly bathe with my 5yo and 8yo daughter and son. It's relaxed and fun and full of healthy loving bonding - they see it as a treat. It'll stop when I, or they feel uncomfortable. Otherwise I shall enjoy the together-time as much as going to the park or playing hide-and-seek or whatever... To forego this time I would see as detrimental to the upbringing of my children, and is, therefore, non-negotiable. If someone wants to put me in prison for that, so be it... and the world will go to shit...

I suppose there is no good reason with available software, actually, why we should be posting anything publicly that is only for the consumption of specific individuals (i.e grandparents, close friends etc...) anyway. But it is irksome that - in the case of my friends cute photo - it is jumped-on with hostility by some of his 'friends'. It seemed like knee-jerk reaction without giving any thought to context.

The 'consent' issue is a separate matter and is a fair censorship.