Ark Park

[Atrax Robustus]

Voted No.  It's going to be a building - not an Ark.

I would go if they built a large enough lake to float it on - fully laden with animals and the Noachian family members.  

I would pay for admission if they could get it to float, untethered, on a relatively calm 'sea' - say - a 2 metre or 8 foot swell (that should be enough  :evil:

[Asmodean]

I'd definitely pay to attend the trial for the manslaughter and animal cruelty charges after the thing capsized or simply broke up, drowning everything on board.

[Cecilie]

Are there going to be live animals there? If so, what's the difference between ark park and a regular zoo?
And they'll probably have a gift shop selling little Noah dolls. That's the guy who built the ark, right?  

[Thumpalumpacus]

I am wondering when we will see the first Experience HELL theme park.

This is an incredibly pertinent point.

[Atrax Robustus]

I am wondering when we will see the first Experience HELL theme park.

This is an incredibly pertinent point.

True.  It would have to be HELL though as there appears to be some agreement amongst theists on what it would be like.  An Experience Heaven theme park would (other than being extremely boring) result in violence, protests and potential fundamentalist attacks because theists appear to have great difficulty defining or agreeing on what heaven is, let alone what heaven is like.

[McQ]

Are there going to be live animals there? If so, what's the difference between ark park and a regular zoo?
And they'll probably have a gift shop selling little Noah dolls. That's the guy who built the ark, right?  

[McQ]

I am wondering when we will see the first Experience HELL theme park.

This is an incredibly pertinent point.

True.  It would have to be HELL though as there appears to be some agreement amongst theists on what it would be like.  An Experience Heaven theme park would (other than being extremely boring) result in violence, protests and potential fundamentalist attacks because theists appear to have great difficulty defining or agreeing on what heaven is, let alone what heaven is like.

Love the points you made in this thread. Yep, it's just going to be a big building in a somewhat ark shape, based on whoever decides what that is. I would love to see them try and float a real ark. Just the logistics of building the damn thing should be enough to sink this stupid myth. It would go way over budget and over time, and at some point, someone would have to say that there's no way some old guy and a couple of his sons built this boat.

With some good physics-based 3D modeling, knowledge of the details of the ark story, and a decent ability to tell a story, we could come up with a video showing how absurd this would be in real life. We could build this in a virtual model, showing all the pitfalls we've talked about. The literal gathering of every life form, the storage, the food, the building of the boat, all by a few people, none of whom were specialized in training or education to do any of it.

Ok, so they'd just come back and claim miracle. But, guess what? It doesn't say miracle in the story anywhere. Hah! Take that, dipsticks!

[Croaker]

Ok, so they'd just come back and claim miracle. But, guess what? It doesn't say miracle in the story anywhere. Hah! Take that, dipsticks!

This is exactly what they would do. Any problems with such stories in the Bible are shrugged off as 'miracles,' whether the original story mentions such miracles or not. Which then begs the question, if God is going to have to put his hand in for every step of the ark, why not save himself some trouble and just kill everyone but Noah and his family overnight? Hell, he killed all the firstborn sons in the Moses story - I can't imagine it'd be too hard to tell the angel of death to be a little less discriminatory.

[Atrax Robustus]

Love the points you made in this thread. Yep, it's just going to be a big building in a somewhat ark shape, based on whoever decides what that is. I would love to see them try and float a real ark. Just the logistics of building the damn thing should be enough to sink this stupid myth.

It'll never happen McQ.  The Ark is a common 'feasibility' test that many 2nd year Naval Architects and Marine Engineers are given as an assignment. What the bible describes is a wooden vessel of at least 450 feet on length; it would leak as quickly as the proverbial sieve, capsize and sink even if it was placed on a dead calm sea/lake.  Even if it did stay intact long enough to float, the slightest swell would break the thing into planks within minutes as the hog and sag stresses would splinter the longitudinal structural members from stem to stern.

[joeactor]

Noah's "Ark" Checklist:

1) Lots of wood for structure - check!
2) Nails and pegs to hold wood together - check!
3) Pitch and tar for waterproofing - check!
4) 2 or 7 of every animal on the planet for cargo - check! (gotta figure out the whole "clean/unclean" thingy)
5) Family to crew and care for animals- check! (except for Uncle Bob... we're leaving him)
6) God to make it float, hold all the animals, keep it waterproof, etc. (gotta work on this last one...)
7) Profit!  (er... survive?)

[McQ]

Love the points you made in this thread. Yep, it's just going to be a big building in a somewhat ark shape, based on whoever decides what that is. I would love to see them try and float a real ark. Just the logistics of building the damn thing should be enough to sink this stupid myth.

It'll never happen McQ.  The Ark is a common 'feasibility' test that many 2nd year Naval Architects and Marine Engineers are given as an assignment. What the bible describes is a wooden vessel of at least 450 feet on length; it would leak as quickly as the proverbial sieve, capsize and sink even if it was placed on a dead calm sea/lake.  Even if it did stay intact long enough to float, the slightest swell would break the thing into planks within minutes as the hog and sag stresses would splinter the longitudinal structural members from stem to stern.

That's great to know. All of which makes it even more baffling as to why any rational adult who thinks about this for any amount of time believes it could have been true.

[Asmodean]

That's great to know. All of which makes it even more baffling as to why any rational adult who thinks about this for any amount of time believes it could have been true.

Magic, probably...  :|

[Thumpalumpacus]

It'll never happen McQ.  The Ark is a common 'feasibility' test that many 2nd year Naval Architects and Marine Engineers are given as an assignment. What the bible describes is a wooden vessel of at least 450 feet on length; it would leak as quickly as the proverbial sieve, capsize and sink even if it was placed on a dead calm sea/lake.  Even if it did stay intact long enough to float, the slightest swell would break the thing into planks within minutes as the hog and sag stresses would splinter the longitudinal structural members from stem to stern.

This.  It couldn't stay afloat even empty.  Laden with animals and foodstores, it wouldn't be able to ride out a clear day of sailing, much less forty days of the worst storm in history.  It would break keel and fall apart.

[Sophus]

Interesting story developing from this. Since the park is getting a tax break in hopes that it will create jobs they aren't allowed to discriminate on religious grounds.

url=http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20101209/NEWS01/312090053/1008/NEWS01/Beshear+says+Ark+Park+contract+will+prohibit+religious+discrimination]Courier Journal[/url]"]
Gov. Steve Beshear said Thursday that he will require the state's contract with developers of a Noah's Ark-based theme park in Northern Kentucky to prohibit the project from receiving state tax incentives if there is discrimination in hiring based on religion or other attributes.
In a meeting with The Courier-Journal's editorial board, Beshear said that he views the theme park as a job creation venture rather than a religious one and that he expects the group building it to comply with federal and state laws that bar discrimination.

But can they discriminate once they are hired? As Ed Brayton asks:

But let's say one of those folks gets hired as a tour guide. Can the park force them to teach that Noah's flood was real and global like a literal interpretation of the Bible suggests? Can an entity that receives government subsidy force someone to say things that are against their conscience, especially when those things are clearly religious in nature?

Bear in mind that the Answers in Genesis creationism museum requires that all employees sign a statement of faith, which would obviously not be allowed here because it would require religious discrimination. But if they can't force someone to sign a statement of faith because of religious discrimination laws, can they force them, as a condition of employment, to confess or support a sectarian religious viewpoint as part of their job?

This raises a lot of very interesting legal questions.

[LegendarySandwich]

I think it'd be hilarious if someone joined and then started to teach evolution and the immense absurdity of the Noah's Flood story