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Finding The Middle Path

Started by Arturo, April 03, 2017, 06:33:46 AM

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Arturo

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/11/finding-the-middle-path/

QuoteMarsha Linehan, Ph.D. includes dialectical thinking as part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. One component of dialectical thinking is to find the middle path. When you think or feel in extremes, that usually leads to misery.

In The Mindful Child, Susan Greenland tells a fable about an old man who lived with his son on a farm near a tiny village.  One day the farmer's horse ran away.  The neighbors told him how sorry they were to hear about his misfortune. The farmer said, "We'll see."

The middle path is all about finding balance between extremes. The farmer say's "we'll see" in many occasions and to which it demonstrates the power this has. It allows you to flex your emotional mind so you can have a wider tolerance to and range of the emotional spectrum. It helps keep you calm in situations you might otherwise overreact.

I used to do this a lot before a certain traumatic event occurred in which I still do not understand why I reacted the way I did. However, it did work for me for a long time and I expect it to now that I'm picking it up again. I tried to teach it to the person who triggered me but I ended up middle pathing my way to forgetting, if that makes sense. It still works for many occasions so use it wisely.
It's Okay To Say You're Welcome
     Just let people be themselves.
     Arturo The1  リ壱

Recusant

Equanimity is a fine ideal, but perhaps it's possible to overdo even that.  ;)
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Arturo

Quote from: Recusant on April 03, 2017, 08:54:27 PM
Equanimity is a fine ideal, but perhaps it's possible to overdo even that.  ;)

Should I go back to apathy? Hmmm..... :sherlock2:
It's Okay To Say You're Welcome
     Just let people be themselves.
     Arturo The1  リ壱

Pasta Chick

Yes, I was going to say the same as Recusant, although less succinctly.

I think there is great value in listening to both sides more than finding a middle ground. The truth is often in the middle, but not always. There are things that are indisputably true, and also extreme (or framed that way... I don't think things like "black people are human beings" and "don't rape women" are really that extreme but Gods help you if you say those things in the wrong circles). I find the crowd who follows this outlook on social and political issues to be particularly insufferable because in addition to basically defending gross human rights violations they also tend to believe their self-perceived level headedness makes them superior to everyone else.

As far as emotions go, I think it is good to reflect and step back from things so they don't become all consuming, but anger, fear and other "negative" emotions are often fully justified and statements to the contrary are often a ploy by those who would take advantage of you. Or to frame it a bit differently, no one ever says "look, you're too happy. It's not good for you. Center yourself already."