Author Topic: The stupid, it burns.  (Read 769 times)

Pasta Chick

  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 5095
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #30 on: March 30, 2017, 09:11:01 AM »
 Think when men like that imagine being cat called, they imagine only super attractive women they actually want to fuck doing it. Which is mostly a reflection of the high esteem they hold themselves in.

Also ignores that even if the woman does find him super attractive and want to fuck, social conditioning says she's a disgusting whore for feeling that way.

Davin

  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 6134
  • Gender: Male
  • (o°-°)=o o(o*-°)
    • DevPirates
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #31 on: March 30, 2017, 09:26:36 AM »
I find there are generally different mindsets between sexism in men vs women... Most women who have done sexist things toward me do so to cut me down for being too conventionally masculine or a bad example of a woman. For instance, "you're really good at that, for a girl. But hey, we have a guy here to do it so sit the F down." Not to mention shaming over sexual expression.

Whereas men do sexist stuff because they've been told that's how good men should be. They should hold doors for me from 20 feet away and grab anything over 5lbs out of my hands because my feeble little women arms couldn't possibly take the strain, and they're helping. They should censor themselves in my presence because my delicate woman ears can't handle their brashness and they're being polite (BF still doesn't really understand this and why I won't hang out with his friends, because a few of them do it CONSTANTLY. Either you think I can't handle normal conversations, or you were going to say something legitimately gross, and either way it's sexist).
Yes, I agree. I think the differences relate to the same thing, just the tactics used are what are at least not socially unacceptable for that gender to do, or at most a socially acceptable form of cowing. Personally, I don't agree with cowing even if it's socially acceptable.

But a for instance. In a "locker room" type of situation men try to use shame to bring the outliers of the group into line with them. "Are you gay?" "You're pussy whipped." "Virgin!" "You're too weak." "You need to be more aggressive."

From several stories I've heard, women have a similar kind of shaming in their "locker room."

And there's competition, but the rules are different for men and women. Women are "meant" to get one guy and hold on to him, while men are "supposed to" get with as many girls as possible. It doesn't matter that these goals can't work together.

I'm going on too long, I think I've made my point. The tactics are different but the goals are the same: To keep others in line to play by the same rules, and to establish a hierarchy they think is useful but is actually harmful to more people than it helps.

Think when men like that imagine being cat called, they imagine only super attractive women they actually want to fuck doing it. Which is mostly a reflection of the high esteem they hold themselves in.

Also ignores that even if the woman does find him super attractive and want to fuck, social conditioning says she's a disgusting whore for feeling that way.
I think the same thing about the guys imagining themselves into it.

Also, yeah. And then it reminds of people saying things like, "it's just natural", "you can't control it." And I'm like, "Really? You manage to not shit and piss your pants the moment those urges pop up, and that's natural too."

Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

Ecurb Noselrub

  • No Wall in my name!!!
  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 5880
  • Gender: Male
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #32 on: March 30, 2017, 11:06:03 AM »
Think when men like that imagine being cat called, they imagine only super attractive women they actually want to fuck doing it. Which is mostly a reflection of the high esteem they hold themselves in.

Also ignores that even if the woman does find him super attractive and want to fuck, social conditioning says she's a disgusting whore for feeling that way.

What I REALLY hate is when women store clerks whom I don't know from Adam call me "hon", "sweetie" or "babe."  I sympathize with women who have to put up with similar remarks.

Gloucester

  • Touched by His Noodly Appendage
  • *****
  • Posts: 2803
  • Gender: Male
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #33 on: March 30, 2017, 11:41:48 AM »
Think when men like that imagine being cat called, they imagine only super attractive women they actually want to fuck doing it. Which is mostly a reflection of the high esteem they hold themselves in.

Also ignores that even if the woman does find him super attractive and want to fuck, social conditioning says she's a disgusting whore for feeling that way.

What I REALLY hate is when women store clerks whom I don't know from Adam call me "hon", "sweetie" or "babe."  I sympathize with women who have to put up with similar remarks.
In England, especially, "Oop north", the common endearment is "love", or, "luv". In Lonfon it used to be "ducks", in Nottingham it's "m'duck", for either gender. Thinking about it it does not bother me at all and I often ssy, "Sorry love" if I bump into a woman. Better than, "Get out of the way you stupid cow!"

A female friend gets very wound up, when with other female friends, if the waiter (usually a young man) asks, "What can I get you guys?" A stiff lesson in English manners is what he gets! I just let it go over my head.

But, in the RAF and subsequently I came to assume a woman can do whatever job she has taken up and trained for as a career. I have had occasion to ask a woman taller than me for assistance, quite happily, the job bring more important than gender politics. The female engineeering lead at the docks could probably pick me up with one hand! Gotta respect that! Not going to offer to carry her toolbox for her... (Probably couldn't anyway.)
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

Ecurb Noselrub

  • No Wall in my name!!!
  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 5880
  • Gender: Male
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #34 on: March 30, 2017, 01:58:28 PM »
In England, especially, "Oop north", the common endearment is "love", or, "luv". In Lonfon it used to be "ducks", in Nottingham it's "m'duck", for either gender. Thinking about it it does not bother me at all and I often ssy, "Sorry love" if I bump into a woman. Better than, "Get out of the way you stupid cow!"

A female friend gets very wound up, when with other female friends, if the waiter (usually a young man) asks, "What can I get you guys?" A stiff lesson in English manners is what he gets! I just let it go over my head.

"Love" in England is probably a more longstanding expression that the "hon" or "sweetie" that women call strange men in convenience stores and fast food restaurants here.  That phenom started in my area  about 10-15 years ago.  It's only in a certain context, and I don't know why it upsets me so much.  Just that I don't care to engage with people at that level in that situation, I suppose.   

BooksCatsEtc

  • Surprisingly OK
  • Global Moderator
  • Guardian of Reason
  • *****
  • Posts: 8090
  • Gender: Female
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #35 on: March 30, 2017, 03:57:36 PM »
. . .
I really don't think they would. I think they would get sick of it. I think they would get uncomfortable quite often. I'm sick of just trying to imagine myself into that kind of situation. I wonder then what they would think if someone told them that they should appreciate the attention they are sick of.

I mean, it's great that they seem to be trying to see things from the woman's perspective, I don't think they go far enough.

I think men also wouldn't like it if catcalling them was part of an overall social perception that reduced them purely to their sexual function.  That is changing, slowly, for women but it still cuts into the "enjoyment" of being catcalled.
Sandy

  
"I think this is the prettiest world -- as long as you don't mind a little dying, how could there be a day in your whole life that doesn't have its splash of happiness?"  from The Kingfisher, by Mary Oliver

Arturo

  • Do Something Crazy!
  • Touched by His Noodly Appendage
  • *****
  • Posts: 2031
  • Gender: Male
  • Atheist, Humanist, and Champion
    • You two dig up, dig up dinosaurs?
Re: The stupid, it burns.
« Reply #36 on: March 30, 2017, 09:08:10 PM »
Social Conditioning says men should fuck as many women as possible and women should only get one guy. But it's my experience that it's the opposite. I'm not sure how this works out unless one guy is hitting all the girls.

I've also become aware that the last two women who I've noticed that make it obvious they have a crush on me tend to be super nice about it. They inply their crushes heavily. Meanwhile there is another girl who would tell other people I looked good and they "gonna hit". If you can call this catcalling, I guess I don't really respond to it. I mean I like it but it's hard to get... what's the word... responsive to them? It's an awkward situation to be in because you don't want to hurt their feelings but at the same time you don't want to lie and say "okay, let's go out".

I find those people who go out with someone just for the sex to be detestable. They have horrible personalities and are generally rude to other people. On the other hand, I don't think sex is something that happens a lot for anyone. People have lives and teens are living with parents so that makes it hard. But maybe that's me.
But, uh...well there it is.

"Nothing's a struggle, but everything is a challenge" - Anon