Author Topic: I almost took my life today because of religion...  (Read 676 times)

MatureMcLeod

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I almost took my life today because of religion...
« on: July 18, 2016, 05:05:41 PM »
So I have been doubting my religion for years. I read the entire bible multiple times and have a huge list of sadistic bible verses on my iPod. Anyway, I respect believers as much as I can, but get no respect back. I came out to my family several times about being a nonbeliever, but they would use threats, fear and intimidation. I have to lie about being an returded Christen just to have a roof over my head. They love to talk about the bible, but whenever I quote them back, they hurt me. I see everyone talking about the bible all the time even on the news. I also see bible quotes posted on Facebook all the time. I live in the good old Bible Belt and want to move but don't have the money.  I just cannot justify the bible, that's my problem. I just posted an entire list on the religion section, but I can give a few examples of rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29), stabbing people (Jeremiah 48:10), slavery (Leviticus 25:44-46), robbing (Matthew 21:1-3), kidnapping (Deuteronomy 21:10-14), hating some children before they were born (Romans 9:10-15), smashing babies against the rocks (Psalms 137:9), etc. I just felt tired of living in a world where I'm "the bad guy" for doubting the bible. And I try not to even debate Christians, I keep my mouth shut. But in the end I want to die because of religion. Can you help me?

Recusant

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2016, 05:44:11 PM »
So I have been doubting my religion for years. I read the entire bible multiple times and have a huge list of sadistic bible verses on my iPod. Anyway, I respect believers as much as I can, but get no respect back.

Hmm, I suppose it must be hard for some Christians to respect non-believers. They know they've got the almighty all-seeing all-knowing creator of the universe on their side, after all. ;)

In such a circumstance, it's only human to have a high opinion of their own beliefs, and also a low opinion of those who don't belief the same. Though some can separate the person from the belief or lack thereof and respect the person while disagreeing with the belief, many can't. It's a failing, and can be very hurtful. Sorry to hear that you've been on the receiving end of that.

I came out to my family several times about being a nonbeliever, but they would use threats, fear and intimidation. I have to lie about being an returded Christen just to have a roof over my head. They love to talk about the bible, but whenever I quote them back, they hurt me. I see everyone talking about the bible all the time even on the news. I also see bible quotes posted on Facebook all the time. I live in the good old Bible Belt and want to move but don't have the money.  I just cannot justify the bible, that's my problem. I just posted an entire list on the religion section, but I can give a few examples of rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29), stabbing people (Jeremiah 48:10), slavery (Leviticus 25:44-46), robbing (Matthew 21:1-3), kidnapping (Deuteronomy 21:10-14), hating some children before they were born (Romans 9:10-15), smashing babies against the rocks (Psalms 137:9), etc. I just felt tired of living in a world where I'm "the bad guy" for doubting the bible. And I try not to even debate Christians, I keep my mouth shut. But in the end I want to die because of religion. Can you help me?

OK, you're swimming in it. Fortunately you're also living in a time when you can visit sites like this to find people who sympathize with your point of view. There are plenty of worthwhile things in the world that have nothing to do with religion. Even though you're immersed in a Christian milieu, if it's that troubling for you, you can try to pay less attention to that and more to other aspects of life. Talking about it may help some, but I think that directing your focus elsewhere may also be helpful. Sorry I don't have any solution for the feeling that you're viewed as the bad guy for not believing in the Bible except to just continue being a good guy and try not to worry so much about how those whose minds are god-ridden see you. Maybe others here will be more helpful.
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Magdalena

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2016, 06:55:45 PM »
... I respect believers as much as I can, but get no respect back.
I came out to my family several times about being a nonbeliever, but they would use threats, fear and intimidation.
I have to lie about being an returded Christen just to have a roof over my head.
They love to talk about the bible, but whenever I quote them back, they hurt me.
.....
I just felt tired of living in a world where I'm "the bad guy" for doubting the bible.

And I try not to even debate Christians, I keep my mouth shut. But in the end I want to die because of religion. Can you help me?

You are going through many things, right now.
If someone is hurting you and you want to die, you should dial 911 or call your Local Suicide Prevention Hotline, Adult Protective Services if you’re a senior, or Child Protective Services, if you’re a minor.

This is all the help I can give you. I can’t relate to you because I’ve never been religious, so I don’t know what “religion withdrawal” feels like, perhaps others here can give you another type of help.  :shrug:


“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

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Asmodean

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2016, 11:02:02 PM »
I've never been religious, but I have been suicidal on occasion. I honestly have little idea of what effective help or counsel in such a situation might be, as personally, I never wanted compassion, fake understanding or any other crap that well-meaning people threw my way. What I did want was a solution to the cause of my mental state... Not something they could provide.

If you don't mind me asking, why is just leaving your current environment not an option?
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wrath and dark clouds gather force.
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Gloucester

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2016, 12:36:27 AM »
I also am concerned about what you said about maintaining a semblance of physical needs, a roof etc., while obviously suffering a shortage of permission to "be yourself". Others are determining important things in your life.

Somehow, maybe with help if you can find it, you need to "get in touch with yourself". I have also undergone problems in my youth, not due to religious domination but due to abuse and bullying - the effects on personality can be similar. Suicidal thoughts were also part of my pattern, as was long periods of depression.

Firstly I would stop the concentration on the more vicious side of the Bible. I view the Bible as a handbook of human psychology, a mythification of human feelings, psychology, things barely understood in ancient times. Other peoples had different, yet somehow similar, myths to serve the same purpose, Oedipus being a prime example.

But, concentration on the nasty can inflate its importance in your mind, "infect" you with hatred and self-loathing. It can make you feel that it fills the world.

Reverse it, look for those parts of the Bible that speak of wisdom and love, they are there. Every rational person with the capacity to view others as people in their own right, including most religions, have a version of "The Golden Rule, " "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." One of the "Commandments" that effectively incorporates the other,  non-god related, ones.

You don't have to belive in any supernatural deity to find love, it is a valid quality all on its own.

Try to find the strength to withstand the tension you are under, seek help if possible. You may feel that you have to give something up to survive, make sure you really believe in those things you want to hold onto and find how they fit in the real you.

To re-iterate, seek help if you can, look for examples of love and charity in others, be prepared to lose things that are holding you back.

I may be a long way away but I am rooting for you!
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.

OldGit

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2016, 01:22:25 AM »
I'm rooting for you too - we all are.  Share your thoughts and worries with us and we'll try to help.  Anyway, we'll listen.

Good luck!

Tank

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2016, 05:51:21 AM »
You have one life.
Don't waste it.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
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xSilverPhinx

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2016, 06:13:46 AM »
It can help to have someone to talk to, someone who won't judge you the way vicious and hypocritical Christians might. If there's no one in your vicinity, then online atheist forums can help. On the other hand like Recusant I don't know if you focusing too much of your energy on the Bible and religion is ultimately doing more harm than good. I know plenty of ex-theists that obsess about religion once they're deconverted and it doesn't seem to do much for their mental health.   

I understand that living in the Bible Belt can be very difficult and that religion is pervasive, but try to not let all that bullshit overwhelm you so much.  :la la la la:

I suggest that you seek professional help if you have suicidal thoughts.

Rooting for you.
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Bad Penny II

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2016, 06:28:47 AM »
Can you help me?

Maybe, are you real?
God isn't we made him
We made a god here,
they made a god there,
my god's real and true
yours is ridiculous false

Persevere if you can
it might get better
« Last Edit: July 19, 2016, 06:42:13 AM by Bad Penny II »
Oh, oh, my, and who really cares

Pasta Chick

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2016, 06:36:44 AM »
You sound so like a friend of mine, I'd think you were him if not for the different typing style.

Unfortunately the only solution I see in these situations is to get out. Since you can't do that now, take some time to calculate what you need to leave, and plan how you will get it. It might take a while, but having a plan with a goal will give you purpose and a light at the end of the tunnel.

I would suggest counciling as well - real counciling, not hotlines or peer programs. Certainly being trapped in a toxic environment is going to take a toll on you, but there may be more going on in your head that you need to confront.

Icarus

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2016, 03:16:11 PM »
MM our people are on your side.  Recusant and Gloucester have posted particularly wise replies.

It appears that you have studied the scriptures at considerable length and you have been put off by the bad parts. As mentioned before there are some good parts too. Dealing with family or associates who are Jesus freaks can be painful but certainly endurable.  The practical plan is to focus your attention elsewhere. Look around this forum for instance. We are all doubters but we are not letting that keep us from enjoying life. We have a lot going for ourselves, you and me and the rest. Please keep that in mind. There is beauty and happiness, and compassion out there in our world. Believe that. Your short term need is to recognize all that beauty and to hold it dearly and jealously. This world is yours, don't even think of abandoning it without one hell of a fight.

Check out our humor threads for example. Get a few laughs. Laughter is therapeutic.

One more thing: you have absolutely no obligation to educate or persuade the devout theists that you encounter. Let them languish in their own ignorance and be quick to change the subject when accosted with the preaching of all the irrational notions that they would force you to embrace.  In other words just do not talk about that stuff. They are not playing fair and they are obviously ignoring the biblical instruction: Judge not lest ye be judged.

I join the rest of the members in rooting for you. Keep that it mind. You have compassionate friends here.

Waski_the_Squirrel

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2016, 09:52:38 PM »
I'm guessing that the OP is still living with his or her parents, probably still in school. That is a problem because the parents control the purse strings. There are times when a parent should exert that control, but religion and  sexual orientation are not those times. I think parents don't understand that they're more likely forcing their child to hide than they actually are changing minds.

As a practical matter, it might be best to keep your opinions to yourself until you are in a safe place. It seems like forever, and it's hard to hide, but your own well-being is important. Honestly, one of the best ways to deal with these people is often to keep quiet. You don't always have to comment on the insane things they say.

Another thing I've learned is that commenting and arguing isn't always helpful in opening minds. A lot of closed-minded people perceive argument as evidence that they're right.

Hang on until you're able to support yourself. Then, it's up to them to figure things out.

BooksCatsEtc

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #12 on: July 20, 2016, 04:01:55 AM »
I came out to my family several times about being a nonbeliever, but they would use threats, fear and intimidation. I have to lie about being an returded Christen just to have a roof over my head.
 
Is money or youth the only thing keeping you in your parents home?  If you're old enough to move out but can't afford it, is a roommate an option?  Moving in with someone you know well is ideal, but a friend of a friend or even someone from the want ads might be preferable to remaining with your family.

If it's a bigger problem keeping you at home (disability, illness, old age), that would call for a whole other set of suggestions.
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existentialcrisis

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2016, 12:26:35 PM »
So I have been doubting my religion for years. I read the entire bible multiple times and have a huge list of sadistic bible verses on my iPod. Anyway, I respect believers as much as I can, but get no respect back. I came out to my family several times about being a nonbeliever, but they would use threats, fear and intimidation. I have to lie about being an returded Christen just to have a roof over my head. They love to talk about the bible, but whenever I quote them back, they hurt me. I see everyone talking about the bible all the time even on the news. I also see bible quotes posted on Facebook all the time. I live in the good old Bible Belt and want to move but don't have the money.  I just cannot justify the bible, that's my problem. I just posted an entire list on the religion section, but I can give a few examples of rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29), stabbing people (Jeremiah 48:10), slavery (Leviticus 25:44-46), robbing (Matthew 21:1-3), kidnapping (Deuteronomy 21:10-14), hating some children before they were born (Romans 9:10-15), smashing babies against the rocks (Psalms 137:9), etc. I just felt tired of living in a world where I'm "the bad guy" for doubting the bible. And I try not to even debate Christians, I keep my mouth shut. But in the end I want to die because of religion. Can you help me?

You are not alone and many have suffered at the hands of religion. Remind them that you are IN A SECULAR COUNTRY FOR A REASON. No one wants to have to listen to their rants. It's a free country, you are a grown man entitled to your own opinions and no one can stop you. I made it clear with my family long ago I will not tolerate any unfalsifiable claims or being preached on by anyone.

It sounds like you are surrounded by people who use religion as a coping mechanism. A crutch. They are weak. Not you.

You will not change anyone's mind, and they shouldn't be able to change yours. No one should force you to believe in unfalsifiable claims. Tell them I don't want to become like you: closed minded, irrational, believing claims without evidence.

Play the nice guy for a while if you can: respectful and polite, and they will hopefully leave you alone. When cornered don't be shy to point out the inconsistencies and fallacies in their mythical beliefs. If you kill yourself over their stupid religion they win. Aren't they the ones who are supposed to want to die so they can spend time with their invisible cosmic puppet master?
There are no facts, only interpretations. - Friedrich Nietzche

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. - Benjamin Franklin.

existentialcrisis

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Re: I almost took my life today because of religion...
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2016, 01:10:52 PM »
Lastly look at this and use it to win arguments:

https://whynogod.wordpress.com/

Also get inspired from the last part of that article:

"When I became convinced that the universe was natural, that all the ghosts and gods were myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom. The walls of my prison crumbled and fell. The dungeon was flooded with light and all the bolts and bars and manacles turned to dust. I was no longer a servant, a serf, or a slave. There was for me no master in all the wide world, not even in infinite space.

I was free to think. Free to express my thoughts, free to live in my own ideal. Free to live for myself and those I loved. Free to use all my faculties, all my senses. Free to spread imagination’s wings, free to investigate, to guess, and dream and hope. Free to judge and determine for myself. Free to reject all ignorant and cruel creeds, all the inspired books that savages have produced, and the barbarous legends of the past. Free from sanctified mistakes and “holy” lies. Free from the fear of eternal pain, free from the winged monsters of the night. Free from devils, ghosts and gods. For the first time I was free".



There are no facts, only interpretations. - Friedrich Nietzche

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. - Benjamin Franklin.