Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Arturo]

Lol what do you think it means when someone says "you give a guy head" lol think hard

[Icarus]

Just in case you do not have that product in other countries; Head and Shoulders is a hair shampoo that claims to eliminate dandruff.  But you knew that didn't you?

[Dave]

Just in case you do not have that product in other countries; Head and Shoulders is a hair shampoo that claims to eliminate dandruff.  But you knew that didn't you?

Yes.

[xSilverPhinx]

Just in case you do not have that product in other countries; Head and Shoulders is a hair shampoo that claims to eliminate dandruff.  But you knew that didn't you?

Of course!

We have the same brand in Brazil:



The writing says "Recommended by dermatologists, used by celebrities." It's just marketing genius, I think. Since celebs use it then I MUST!

[Essie Mae]

I think you're all missing the point somewhat😀

[Arturo]

I think you're all missing the point somewhat😀

Clearly they are all blonde in real life

[Tom62]

I think you're all missing the point somewhat😀

Clearly they are all blonde in real life

My wife didn't get the joke either, but she isn't blond.

[Claireliontamer]

An 80 year old couple were seen having sex furiously up against a fence. For 40 minutes they shagged like crazy, arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor.

Christ she said "you didn't fuck Me like that 50 years ago!"

To which the man replied "50 years ago that fence wasn't electric!"

[Biggus Dickus]

^^


A Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead are riding together in an elevator when it comes to stop at a floor, onto the elevator steps a very well dressed, handsome young man.

After going down several floors the elevator comes to a stop and the young man gets off.

"Wow", say's the Redhead, "He was extremely handsome, and what a beautiful suit he was wearing"!

"I agree", says the Brunette, "He was both extremely handsome and well dressed, he could use some Head and Shoulders though"

"How do you give Shoulders?", asks the Blonde.

[No one]

That joke sounds vaguely familiar, padre. 

[Biggus Dickus]

That joke sounds vaguely familiar, padre.

I can't believe you went back and somehow edited and modified all of those posts just to make it look like it was your joke No one, talk about fake news!

Now I know why the joke sounded so familiar to me, the other night I was playing racquetball with some friends and one of them told that same joke....sorry about that,....


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida ...?"

[Guardian85]

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

[Tom62]

[Claireliontamer]

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

[Biggus Dickus]

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

Ugh